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1st Alternate to Miss Gay Pennsylvania America 2019. Kali Coutour. Left to Right: 1st Alt. Miss Gay Pa America 2019 Kali Coutour, Miss Gay America 2019 Andora Te'tee, Miss Gay Pa America 2019 Divinity Cruzz, & Miss Gay Pa America 2018 Jaslene Dickson . Miss Gay PA 2020. Date: To Be Announced. The official website of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Find information and services from Pennsylvania state government agencies. Welcome to The Woods Campground in the beautiful Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania! This membership-only LGBTQ camping resort, exclusively for the 18-and-older crowd, is located on 161 private acres with streams, four-acre lake, and spacious campsites. Lehighton, Pennsylvania 18235 Phone: (610) 377-9577 www.TheWoods.camp [email protected] The Woods Campground is a private, members-only, gay and lesbian campground in Pennsylvania's Pocono Mountains. 18+. The Woods is located on 161 private acres with streams, a five acre lake, and spacious camp sites. Emanuel Gay Obituary. Here is Emanuel Gay’s obituary. Please accept Echovita’s sincere condolences. It is with deep sorrow that we announce the death of Emanuel Gay (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania), who passed away on August 27, 2020, at the age of 73, leaving to mourn family and friends. Read on below to learn more about the gayest places in Pennsylvania. Or skip to the end to see the list of all the places in the state from gayest to straighest. There You Have It – The Most LGBT Friendly Cities In Pennsylvania For 2020. If you’re looking at the number of gay households in Pennsylvania, this is an accurate list. The best gay bars, dance clubs, gay-rated hotels, gay saunas and gay cruise clubs in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania dating site: meet and date gays around you, browse gay pictures, discuss and chat Pennsylvania is more than its cities, however, and LGBT travelers looking for a gay-infused quaint town or mountain retreat can also find something in the Keystone State. Philadelphia The best gay bars, dance clubs, gay-rated hotels, gay saunas and gay cruise clubs in Philadelphia.
I want to embrace Christs teachings and have a good relationship with god, but I don't want to tell people nor do I want to attend church.
2020.09.27 21:55 Dumond11I want to embrace Christs teachings and have a good relationship with god, but I don't want to tell people nor do I want to attend church.
Hi, I'm new here, I've always been agnostic and my immediate family isn't very religious and I've only ever been to church a few times when I was a child. I just recently started reading the new testament for the first after I found one of those mini pocket bibles that missionaries sometime leave around randomly and I figured "what the hell, mine as well read it a bit". And I gotta say I was very inspired by Jesus's teachings. Growing up in rural Pennsylvania, my impression of Christianity was hypocritical conservative white people who love guns and hate minorities and gays etc etc you know the stereotypes. I literally always believed that was what Christianity was about because that's all I ever seen before and what my extended family was like. But upon reading I realized just how radical and loving Jesus really was and how everyone is destroying his image for their personal agendas. Politically I consider myself far left-libertarian and am baffled at just how compatible they are with each other. I want to believe and embrace his teachings and I want live like Jesus did. I want to establish a personal connection with god. With just how shitty things are now and how much bleaker life will become in the coming years I really want something to believe in, I need something to believe in. Otherwise, I honestly don't see a point in living anymore, when I prayed for the first time today and I prayed for a very long time (I obviously have a lot to catch up with him lol) I felt so peaceful afterwards, a huge weight off my shoulders. Things that I can't or won't tell other people about I can tell god and to forgive my sins. I realize the amazing power of prayer and I think I believe now. When I say I want to have a personal connection to god, I mean I don't want to tell other people about my beliefs. I was raised to never talk about religion because it is rude and intrusive and I still believe that to this day. But I was reading online that to be a christian means to interact with other Christians (church) and to spread the faith. But to interact with other "Christians" means to interact with the very people I can't stand, bigoted and hateful trump supporters. I don't personally know of any progressive Christians where I live, and wouldn't even know where to look. And the people I know in my age range (early-mid 20's) who are actually progressive are also atheist and I feel they would look down on me and assume that I am one of them now. What do you guys think? Can you be a "private christian"?
2020.09.26 22:31 UPLabResearch[Repost][Academic] Information Evaluation Survey (Gay and Lesbian people over the age of 18)
Thank you for your time! We are seeking individuals who identify specifically as lesbian or gay to participate in our research. This research has been deemed exempt from review by the Pennsylvania State University IRB. Purpose: The purpose of this study is to examine lesbian and gay people's evaluation of a brief article. Participation will require answering some demographic questions about yourself, reading a short article, and then answering questions about the story. This survey takes most people less than 10 minutes to complete. Link:https://pennstate.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eFnRQmOQpRH40nz
I was scammed on pof out of thousands of dollars by a man who used fake pics of a guy name dannymartin and dannymic26 and aj0200 and more names he is a muscle man bald with saltpepper beard and mustache says hes from washington Carmichaels butler pittsburgh Pennsylvania areas who i found out it was a nigerian using this mans pics and the man in the pics was from germany and is gay he kept putting different pics all over pof with different names on all the pics.i reported and reported all the pics and different names even told them what happened and they never responded back nor did anything to these fake accounts i am still going through the process of this cos the nigerian guy came out from behind the fake pics he was using and wanted a realationship with me and admitted he aint the guy in the pics i been dealing with taking this nigerian man by the name of taiwo Abisogun nelson down to the proper people by the law.but pof still has his fake pics of many on there site so all please watch out he is a sweet talker and he scammed me and something in life like this is not a good feeling and it ruins it for us good people in life.besafe help stop scammers report them to the law...
2020.09.25 15:53 jtjdpLong winded reply to the question of how the avg underground clandestinist can indeed score kilos of 3-methyl-NPP from domestic corporate R&D suppliers...at $7k per kg for a non regulated Precursor, are the greedy corporations gonna settle for droppin' a dime in the DEA jukebox? Economics 101
One tailor made strategy is to use one of many intermediaries. One of the original gangsters of the hobbyists' best friend (the clandestinists consigliere) middleman is ChemSavers. Theyve grown from a small ebay outfit of used lab surplus resellers to a warehouse of busy Precursor reshipping or often drop shipping (I've frequently tricked the otherwise more vigilant than most Alfa Aesar to ship to a residential address, dumb dumbs can't use Google maps, and also don't give a fuck). Or read my long rambling reply that was not meant to wander so far off topic. But I do hit a few points buried somewhere in there. Most corporate clients are extended a net 30 day invoiced "tradeline" and a surprisingly high percentage of small businesses often have to choose btwn the utility bill and Fisher Scientifics pocket book, they know they can fuck off Fisher indefinitely,as most unpaid invoices under 10k are written off and not even reported as unpaid to the business credit bureaus (it costs money to do things like that and lawyers to recoup the invoice and collections agencies etc...wallstreet is aokay w/ a quiet little unnoticed accounts receivable write off, it's factored into their business model. their clients don't pay and they're left holding the bag, that's just the way it goes for all wholesale distributors and traditional B2B goods and services. By putting down cash (plastic) upfront,you are their ideal customer. If u don't request a Corp credit account and agree to pay invoices upon shipment, you will fill out the same application but as soon as they run your card to see that you got the dough, they will have you sign a boilerplate intended use statement and at that point you can go balls to the wall and order 100 grams of norephedrine (for 4-methylaminorex) or regular ephedrine (before visiting the gay nightclub armed with GHB, crank, and ecstacy, make sure u bring Viagra lest you experience "crystal dick"). The onky thing the chem corps are required to report are list I Precursors and the name address and phone info they give belongs to some poor schmuck who lives in a nursing home in Boca. get a Green Dot card in the name of a senile 90 yr old and you'll be running ur business and ordering Precursors in the name of Casper. I have a few PayPal business accts that as of the past few yrs belong to dead geezers but PayPal makes sure to remind me that I am limited to transaction limits if only $250k per month. Oh and then you can get business prepaid debit cards in the imaginary names of your employees. I've use that many times sometimes with intentionally misspellings of my own name so as to jump ship on a $10k hospital bill,and then return to the same hospital and do it over and over. You get carded for cigarettes and 6 pack of Coors Light ,but they don't ask for a photo ID for your coronary bypass surgery. Dumb fuckers Unless it's a legally mandated industry like financial services and prone to money laundering or tax evasion, you can do all sorts of things without showing ID. buy a fucking rundown crack house. In cash.and the rubdown warehouse next door.BOGO bargain days in the rust belt urban ghetto Contact SAFC (now it may go under a different name as they've merged with Millipore. But they still have Sigma Aldrich Fine Chemical and any body can request a quitr. Keep it sjmkme and basic. Specify a deadline for a project and that you have some surplus grant funding that needs to be spent by the end of the year , state your minimum purity requirements in the low range (tech grade min 85% or even 80%) cuz purifying it is an easy sodium bisulfite wash and extraction. saving them the task of purifying it will save you $$$. Keep in mind 3Me NPP is a liquid, and bc of the longer shelf life and storage stability of the HCl salt, you can save yourself 25% or more requesting the HCl salt,which saves them the castle of extracting the base and then u can store it longer Without much worry of oxidation. regular NPP (the dirty tech grade "Tianamnen Tar" is what I nickname it) cleans up nice as well with same bisulfite. It does oxidize from an orange red to a darker brown over a few yrs,but much slower than the 3-methyl bc of the fact that NPP proper is a solid base. I would ask them for a quote on both the base and HCl salt. It's been a few ues (like over 5 yrs )and they've merged with Millipore since then ,but my old corporate acct from 2006 was "grandfathered in" and I still have all of my same contractual discounts,although they're hardly "discounts " more like 5% or 10% off , they aren't exactly known for Payless Shoe Source BOGO buy one precursor get one free. Or maybe I thats the wave of the furue,I can here the radio advertisement now "It's our annual List I Precursor Black Friday sales event at Fisher Sci! Buy a liter of propionic anhydride and get a liter of benzaldehyde on the house! Just pay our outrageous shipping/handling." Or maybe they could couple it with "Anthranilic Acid August" or "NPP November" and "Homebake Heroin for the Holidays, Buy One Get One on all Acetic Anhydride now through December 31st." Or the "Summer Safrole Spectacular: Savings,Rolling , Tripping, Raving." Or maybe the Eight Days of Ecstacy (for Chanukah): Piperonal, Safrole ,MDP2P, Your Wacker Oxidation Super Store, Know a Naughty Knovenegal Know-it-All Elf? Save the lump of coal or your kegel ball (both require you to buy petrochemical carbon offset credits), instead go with something natural: kosher benzaldehyde and nitromethane in a convenienly filled jar, placed in the dark confines of a stocking for a few weeks). Of course the P2NP and resulting speed will need to be consumed orally or injected to be "carbon neutral" smoking is not only wasteful and distasteful it's a well known Burger King Bounce House Gas and sort of makes you the antithesis of "Captain Planet" (if you recall watching that cartoon as a kid, back when TVs still had bunny ear VHF-UHF receivers b/c ur parents refused to pay for cable forcing us to go outside and entertain ourselves with chicanery involving rolls of toilet paper, quiet midnight tactical suburban insertion and the TeePee-ing of our most reviled disciplinarian teachers I've always thought Pink Floyd could do a reunion tour along with Lil John & the Eastside Boys for a collaboration tour called "Another Brick In the (Windows...) to the Wall, Til the Syringe Hits The Bathroom Stall" ("How can you eat your pudding if you can't (skeet skeet!) Your Meat...what!? okay!") (this is what goes thru my head when I see people wastefully smoking meth, if they made u plant a tree for every bowl of meth one smoked, they prolly wouldn't contribute much to the rates of meth use,but they could slow global warming...it'd be like Ralph Nader's wet dream ,or some Greenpeace Jizz bomb Rainbeau Warrior Fantasy.Environmentalist Fetishism : you have a roving band of tweakers all decked out in two dozen different headlamps and high lumen flashlights toiling with garden trowels and transplanting saplings like Johnny Appleseed meets Johnnie Need For Speed meets Amphetamine-fueled Ardent Arborists hiding in bushes and behind trees from imaginary hallucinations of CIA drones while planting hedgerows like hyperactive hedgehogs in a desperate attempt to grow foliage and camouflage themselves "Crankheads for Krebbs Cycle" or "Help A Tweaker Hug A Tree, Or even some adequate Shrubbery, So they Can Hide From the Imagined dragnet of Sheriff Deputy" (State Troopers can't see thru tree trunks...or can they?) Of course the expense of arming tweakers with night vision goggles, saplings and entrenching tools are the makings of a WWI reenactment and I don't see any insurer covering the liability for that 501(c) charity. But more realistic is to export The Invasive Curse of the Cotton Belt,the Bamboo of Boca Raton. The curse of Kudzu. One place that has plenty of room for the fast growing vine are the best steppes of Russia and Ukraine. Itd be a great alternative to making homemade Krokodil: "Cultivating Kudzu to Keep Kievan Kids Krokodil Free" Or Kudzu could be equally coopted like a tree hugger IED, import some Chechnyn terrorists, give them sacks of Kudzu seeds and set them loose on Crimea. Nothing says "Rootin 4 Putin" like a hotly disputed Territory turning terrorists into tree trimmers. When it comes to my despots,theres no disputin , nobody rubs my Raspberry quite like (Ras)Putin. see how clever I think I am when I ik actually just coming off as tweakin balls? Triazolam Tweak, fent flirt, junkie jerk, Sufent squirt, or 4-benzyloxytramadol Bert & Ernie, my current state of spun as a spider, doesn't make me a liar. sure, this Kyke may be higher than the avg kite, but that does not make the words of this eccentric Semite any less legit (although it does give one pause to question my common sense, which I've never claimed to have ,bc my brain is full of books and when I'm not reading or writing I'm in the studio like Vanilla Ice laying down crafty hooks while my DJ revolves it. For reals though: my brother and I (who rarely see eye to eye on much beyond our passion for homemade chicken pot pie) have collaborated quite a bit this summer and we've compiled some epic next gen "Sufent Meets Slim Shady on Ritalin" we call it "Of Ricin and Minithins" but it's also been described as "White Pickett Fence Hop" a form of suburban hip hop that combines my lyrical wordplay, his machine gun vocal style, my decades on the throne (that is,the stool behind a drum set) bit mostly his "impeccable iambic pentameter" and Shakespearean delivery. Together, we've recorded a EP of our latest lyrical rhythmic project with the working title of "Aural Sodomy, Suburban Lobotomy" which is gonna be part of a new lyrical electronic genre called "Watch Yo' Step or Stub Yo' Toe" (it's a politically incorrect version of Dub Step) Back to the question of 3-Methyl NPP, which btw is on the regular catalogue of some EU chem firms such as ABCR, Chemos and used to be on the regular catalogue of Alfa Aesar and TCI, as well as GFS but while they may not have it as part of their regular cstwlitue, it's a mere hoo skip and am email away from a corporate outsourced Bangladeshi customer sales rep (usually with a nerdy librarian type female who claims to be named Liz, Sarah or Joanne, but we all know that it's more like Cindi Chandashakar, bc you don't get email replies at midnight nor live customer support chat at 2am on a Sunday from a poor corporate drone at a call center in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Be confident. Be professional. Find a Pakistani web designer on Fiverr to make your faux front CRO domain such as "Sharon, Riggs, Heydrich, Durmos & LLP R&D.com" three pages with basic contact info,maybe a stock photo of some serious science types looking longingly into the eyes of a sep funnel, with the intensity that says "Ik wearing these safety goggles b/c I'm about to deep throat this Sep Phunnel and then get on my knees for the moneyshot. That's a very cheap formula to not only fooling greedy western fortune 500 Corp R&D firms,but I've done this many a times to draw up professional looking business contracts and purchase orders with a logo and two signstures (preferably that of a purchasing specialist and a Senior Procurement Supervisor or even a VP of (clandestine)Operations. The Chinese have a whole "death before dishonor" when it comes to their own personal business debts and reputation among their fellow yellow denizens (they don't understand what a FICO score or better business bureau is, and even if they do risk checking up ur company rep on Dun & Bradstreet ,it's damn expensive for them as unlike consumer credit reports, there are like 6 different biz credit bureaus with their own scores,although its free to register yourself and a good idea but that's part of a different lecture series on legally milking the business credit system all the way to the tune of a dozen $40k credit limit corporate charge cards. Multiplied by a dozen different companies...the real money is in ripping off banks).but ripping off Slick rickshaw riding Red Star Ricin red riding hood-lum-Kim Jong Ills is very easy and Ive made it a habit to take each and every chemical broker chopshop that has taken me for a few grand,I keep score and make sure to email talk on phone,charm the 2 kilos of NPP-sweatpants off some Tokyo Rose (over half the sales reps are womem, who all have identically attractive profile photos most of whom have no idea they are selling anything less benign than antifungal ointment for athletes foot or some artificial brown dye or Ethnic haircare product ingredient. This was all pre Fent Ban. And now I'll ask for quotes from a few CAS Scifinder-vetted vendors who will email a quote for 3-me-NPP only to backpedal two days later saying "Me so sorry, we no longer can offer that product, but we so value your business that I can offer you either (a) a happy ending or (b) discounted kilogram of diphenylaceto-pyrrolidine*** I'll take my Precursor first and a raincheck on that contractually obliged blowjob. ***(which is the moderately costly part of racemoramide synth, the aminopropanol being the least expensive part if ur willing to make the alcohol and halogenate said aminoalcohol urself) or go with diphenylacetyl chloride and dimethylamine ,which is less expensive at the cost of adding another rxn step and in situ generation of dimethylamine gas ⛽ which I'm not the biggest fan of, preferring to only fuck with argon, and even then only when necessary,which was once and even then unnecessary,bc I'm not making nitroglycerin or some azide or some oxygen sensitive specialty Riecke metal. Generate HCl with rock salt and liquid fire all you want, gasing an nonpolar solution and watching the snow fall is as beautiful as a Bing Crosby (china) White Christmas. but not all gases are equal, such as selective nitro reduction (Zinin reduction) during the initial steps of Etonitazene the literature recommends in situ generation of ammonium sulfide using ammonia and fucking bubbling in toxic hydrogen sulfide gas. I bought aqueous commercial grade amm sulfide and still made the neighborhood smell like a fucking open rotten egg sewer for almost 48 hrs. (Just like passing gas in a room full of your peers, you don't go around saying "wasn't me" b/c this is not a "he who smelt it dealt it" situation, i.e. schedule I hot potato, that u want to fuck with My next article will go into much more depth on the issue of the Etonitazene and it's 2-benzylbenzimidazole brothers.
2020.09.24 06:09 rightwingnews/u/theskinswin on Is Conservatism fading away as a political ideology in the modern world?
https://apps.bostonglobe.com/nation/politics/2019/11/voters-2020-election/pennsylvania/erie/ As to your second point this is something we're going to have to watch as it plays out. I believe the research backs up your argument when it comes to social issues gay marriage transgender etc etc and that with each generation we are moving further to the left. But if you noticed with Trump he was one of the first Republican candidates in a very long time that was not religious and even had a campaign events in support lgbtq t people. I believe conservatism is moving away from it's religious Stranglehold by the Evangelical right. Trump is just the beginning of conservatism moving in a Direction away from religious politics. And I believe this is one of the main reasons conservatism will continue to thrive in this country for a very very long time from theskinswin on Is Conservatism fading away as a political ideology in the modern world?
2020.09.17 14:40 MalendoreNeed help with world building in an AI generated story game, centered around The Office.
I sure hope this doesn’t break any rules, but basically there is this game called AI Dungeon. AI Dungeon allows people to play text based adventure games centered around any kind of setting. Very similar to older games where you would type “look east” or “pick up key”. This game however can take any type of input and generate a story around it. The AI isn’t perfect, but there is some potential for some solid story telling. There is a system in this game that allows you to store world info behind the scenes, and essentially flesh out the world with details you want the AI to remember. I have created a rough skeleton of tags that would essentially center the world around season 3 / 4 of The Office. I was hoping that some other fans could help me flesh out the tags that I have here, then when I get all of them in I can share the scenario here! Tags Dunder Mifflin A mid-sized paper company, operates in the eastern United States. Scranton One of the branches of Dunder Mifflin, located in Pennsylvania. Corporate The overseeing body of all the branches of Dunder Mifflin. David Wallace CFO of Dunder Mifflin paper company. David quietly respects Michael Scott for his loyalty to the company, but does not think he can handle any more responsibility. David tolerates Michael's antics Jan Levinson Vice President of Sales at Dunder Mifflin, has a no nonsense leadership style. Oversees Michael Scott, and finds him to be an incompetent employee. Is secretly having a sexual relationship with Michael Scott. Michael Scott Regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton Branch. Michael tends to overestimate his importance to his employees Despite constantly offending some of his employees, he has a close bond with them. Michael constantly says inappropriate things to his employees. Despite liking the majority of the staff, Michael fiercely hates Human Resources Manager Toby Flenderson. Michael has one-sided affection for Ryan Howard, which often makes Ryan uncomfortable. Michael frequently calls unnecessary conference room meetings that have nothing to do with work. Dwight Schrute Dwight Schrute is assistant to the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Dwight also has the best sales numbers of anyone in the office. Dwight likes to portray himself as an alpha man. Dwight craves authority over his co-workers, and relishes any minor task that Michael or anyone else will give him. Dwight Schrute is easily tricked and pranked by his desk-mate and fellow salesman, Jim Halpert. Dwight has a secret relationship with Angela Martin Dwight Schrute owns a beet farm (Schrute Farms) Dwight is very naive and gullible Jim Halpert Jim is a salesman at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton Branch Jim tries for average work and average effort. Jim is laid back, and does not let the office shenanigans get to him. Jim has a crush on Pam Beasly. Jim constantly pranks his desk-mate Dwight Schrute Pam Beasly Pam is a receptionist at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Pam is engaged to Roy Anderson Pam’s best friend in the office is salesmen Jim Halpert. Pam likes art. Pam’s relationship with Roy Anderson is not emotionally fulfilling. Kelly Kapour Kelly Kapoor is a customer service representative at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Kelly is the office chatterbox, she might discuss, such as boys, dating, and celebrity gossip. Kelly is in love with Ryan Howard Ryan Howard Ryan is a temp at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Ryan is into get rich quick schemes. Ryan acts very condescending to everyone Ryan does not want a committed relationship with Kelly Kapour. Toby Flenderson Toby is the HR representative at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Toby is a mild-mannered, depressed man. Toby tries to avoid office conflict Meredith Palmer Meredith handles supplier relations at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Meredith is an alcoholic Creed Braton Creed works as head of quality assurance at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Creed is an odd man who says nonsensical things. Stanley Hudson Stanley is a paper salesman at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch Stanley is counting down the days until he can retire Stanley does not respect his boss, Michael Scott. Phyllis Vance Phyliss is a saleswoman at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Phyliss is married to Bob Vance of Vance refrigeration company. Phyliss can be nice or petty, depending on her mood. Kevin Malone Kevin is an accountant at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Kevin is a slow talker, and not very bright. Kevin is an expert gambler. Angela Martin Angela is head of accounting at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch Angela Martin is a very cold, no nonsense type person. Angela is having a secret sexual relationship with Dwight Schrute. Angela has many cats and cares for them Angela is very judgemental of her co-workers Andy Bernard Andy is the newest paper salesman at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton Branch. Andy is a trust fund baby, and has never had to work hard for anything. Andy sings a lot of acapella Andy has severe anger management issues. Oscar Martinez Oscar is an accountant at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Oscar is gay, and was outed by his boss Michael Scott Oscar is a know it all. Daryl Philbin Daryl is head of the downstairs warehouse at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch. Daryl has a tense relationship with manager Michael Scott, due to Michael not taking safety seriously. Daryl likes to mess with Michael Scott when Michael asks for advice. Roy Anderson Roy is a warehouse worker at Dunder Mifflin, Scranton branch Roy is engaged to Pam Beasly Roy is not very attentive in his relationship with Pam
2020.09.16 06:02 throwawaymywhig101Ex-best friend attempted to commit suicide, family blaming it on me
Hey all, I live in New Jersey and go to college in Pennsylvania. I'm a 19 y/o college student. I'm gonna call this person Smith (which isn't his real name). This is a complex story so I really appreciate any advice because I've been super worried about it. Going into college, me and Smith were best friends since high school. We coincidently went to the same college and decided to dorm with each other in September 2019. However, Smith had a history with mental illness. I knew about this mental illness before, but did not know it was severe at all. Anyways, in college, Smith attempted to kill himself three times (my friends witnessed these suicide attempts as well). All three times I urged Smith to get help from the college therapy center and his psychologist. However, all three times, he did not listen. Eventually, Smith irresponsibly drank alcohol while taking his medication which caused him to have a seizure. As we called 911, Smith woke up and magically was completely okay. We suspect that Smith had faked this seizure to lure me away from a girl I was interested in, but obviously, we are not sure. I called his parents, notifying them of Smith's suicide attempts. They picked him up from campus, but he returned a week later. Anyways, while we were at college, Smith treated me like we were in some kind of relationship. He was very protective and didn't like others associating with me. Eventually, in March 2020, I found Smith to be very mentally draining and had nicely told him that I no longer wanted to be friends. After I had cut off Smith, he revealed to the public that he was bisexual. Smith then made up rumors to many others that him and I were in a "secret relationship" and that were "consistently having gay sex". Being from a very religious family, he knew that by telling people this, it would hurt my relationship with my family and religious friends. He expressed to his friends that he hated me, and that he wanted to get revenge on me for "breaking his heart" (because I'm not gay and didn't want a relationship lol). He told people that he had videos as proof. When people confronted me about these rumors, I denied them. When asked about the video, I said that I wasn't aware of the video, but if there is one, it wasn't consensual and it was sexual assault. This is where the legal problems start to arise. Rumors then circulated that Smith had sexually assaulted me and that there is a video of it. The rumor got around to Smith, and then he tried to commit suicide because two of his close friends dropped him. He says that I edited this video to defame him and to cover up our "secret relationship"....which never happened. Smith's family confronted my family, blaming his suicide attempt on me. They say that I started this rumor and that I intended to harm Smith. They want me to be held accountable for starting a rumor that I never made. After I dropped Smith, I never wanted to hurt him. They also say that I had sexually assaulted Smith sometime in October 2019, which also did not happen. They are supporting this claim by saying that Smith's rectum was bleeding in October (documented by a doctor) due to the fact that I apparently sexually assaulted him. However, Smith confessed to his friends that he wanted to have sex with me again just last month. If I actually did sexually assault him...why would he say this? My question is.... is there any case here? They keep saying they are going to get lawyers and the authorities involved, but I have done nothing wrong. They say they have overwhelming documentation from the psychiatrist and psychologists Smith has been working with to prove we were in a secret relationship and that I caused his suicide. However, these medical officials have only been speaking to Smith and have no other choice but to believe them. Smith is also severely mentally ill and is diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. He is known to lie and mistake fantasy for reality (not diagnosed, just known from his friends). This is super draining and upsetting to be involved in and I just want to know if they can frame me for doing something I didn't do. I really appreciate any advice or help in advance.
2020.09.14 02:50 DRS1989I'm seriously thinking about starting over.
I'll try to be relatively short and to the point. I live in an economically distressed area of rural Pennsylvania. I'm 31 years old and still live at home. I had a very sheltered upbringing, and everyone thought I was weird when I was a child so I had virtually no friends growing up. I'd invite myself places in high school and college to keep my sanity - even though I was mostly ignored at these social events. I went to a local university (going out-of-state or moving away in-state was out of the question because of financial constraints) and graduated in 2011. I thought things would get better from there. However, I wasn't able to find a job in my career field, and as a result, I have been on the decline mentally. I've had steady work, but it's low-level office work that doesn't pay much. Despite that, I maintain a positive attitude at work and have excellent performance reviews. On the inside, however, I feel as though I'm on the verge of snapping mentally. I'm very depressed. My relationship with family is becoming increasingly strained and distant. I have never been in a relationship. People who did a lot worse than me in school (and bullied me) are now doing far better than me economically and in their personal lives. In fact, just the other day, a former classmate ran into me and asked why the hell I worked where I did because he remembered me being a very intelligent person. That question crushed me. It also doesn't help that I'm gay, as there are very few people like me in this community. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I feel like I need to get the hell out of this situation before it's too late. I am actually considering leaving unannounced to start over somewhere, perhaps out west. Luckily, my parents charge low rent, so I've been able to save up a nice chunk of change over the years. I could support myself for a year or so with my current savings. If I relocated, I'm sure I'd find a survival job at the very least by then. I still have substantial student loan debt, but I use an income-based repayment plan which keeps monthly payments manageable (though negative amortization is occurring due to accruing interest). I'm sorry if I'm rambling, but I'm at my wits end. I really feel like a loser, and I know my family is disappointed in me even though they don't say anything. EDIT: I appreciate the feedback. Let me address a few things that were brought up...
I'm well aware that my persona will follow me no matter where I go. However, I think a change in environment will ameliorate some of my negative habits, especially those stemming from my current situation.
Someone brought up the notion that I could be on the autism spectrum. That's certainly a possibility; several people have asked me that over the years, usually after they ask me why I'm "so f*cking awkward."
A few commenters posited that I'm being too hard on myself and that I should stop comparing myself to others. Perhaps I am too difficult on myself, but one has to admit that my current situation isn't good nor is it socially desirable in the long run.
One of the commenters suggested I'm a leech. I pay $300 per month for a small bedroom. That's about the going rate for bedroom accommodations in my area. I pay for my own groceries, transportation, clothes, and other regular expenses. I save whatever is left over for the future. If you think I'm a leech, fine - but it's not uncommon for people in my area to live with parents rent-free or at low rates well into adulthood. I have a few cousins (and an uncle) who do just that. Maybe it's a Catholic thing?
SECOND EDIT: My family is aware that I'm gay. They didn't react negatively (surprisingly) when I told them a few years ago, but they haven't mentioned it since. THIRD EDIT: My university degree is a B.A. in Geography with a GIS and Emergency Management concentration. The Earth Sciences have been my passion since I was a kid, and I originally planned to study either teaching or meteorology. I started off studying secondary education; I quickly realized that wasn't for me. The school I went to also had a meteorology program, which I inquired about. My advisor advised against it; he told me meteorology has few job opportunities. Knowing the earth sciences was my passion, he recommended GIS as an alternative. There are job opportunities with that concentration, but the problem I run into is that they require several years of previous on-the-job experience, which I do not have. For my senior internship, I worked on a precipitation mapping project with the National Weather Service and created a county-wide fire station database. In retrospect, the local universities are great when studying something in demand locally, which in my area is nursing and teaching. It's better to go to a large university in a big city if you're studying anything else, as it's easier to network and make professional contacts that way. I didn't realize how crucial networking was at the time. I knew little about how to break into professional circles.
2020.09.08 15:44 Hypotrochoidboi24 / F / USA Pennsylvania seeking 21-30 yrs old
Hi! My name is Katie and I'm gay. I would like to have a penpal, preferably for snail mail sharing. I would like you to be around my age, 21-30 years old and LGBT-friendly. I like the idea of writing long letters and giving each other little glimpses of our lives through a more physical approach (like postcards or souvenirs and snacks) than just being friends on social media. I was born in Kentucky, USA and have lived in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for the last 6 years. I have a cat and would like more pets. I hope to finish school to be a radiologic technologist next year. I'm in the process of learning Japanese (super beginner at the moment) and I hope to learn French, Spanish, and German as well. If anyone is involved with these languages and would like to learn from each other or give me some letters with bits that need to be translated, I think it would be very fun! I used to be in colorguard in high school. and I adore performance arts (like poi spinning or hula hooping). I love hiking, festivals, raves, boardgames, cooking, shamanism, reading, camping, animals, anatomy, medical science, dancing, traveling, foreign cultures, anime, skulls, dragons, puzzle games, tattoos, piercings. PM me if you're interested!
2020.09.07 15:39 rusticgorillaLost in the Sauce: DHS hides intelligence that reveals Trump using Russia's playbook, again
Welcome to Lost in the Sauce, keeping you caught up on political and legal news that often gets buried in distractions and theater… or a global health crisis. Housekeeping:
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Trump’s playbook is Russia’s playbook
The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) in July withheld an intelligence bulletin warning of a Russian plot to spread misinformation regarding Joe Biden's mental health. The bulletin, titled “Russia Likely to Denigrate Health of U.S. Candidates to Influence 2020 Election,” was blocked by the office of acting DHS Secretary Chad Wolf on July 9.
The bulletin states that analysts had “high confidence” in their conclusion. However, a DHS spokesperson tried to defend the “delay” in issuing the document by saying it did not meet the agency’s standards. This is curious because just a week later, on July 16, DHS circulated a bulletin on anarchists in Portland that officers admitted they had “low confidence” in. Why was the Russia memo held back but the Portland one released?
Trump has been pushing the same line of attack against Biden for months - yet another instance of Russia and Trump operating from the same playbook. For instance, in March Trump said there was “something going on” with Biden; in June Trump ran selectively edited ads asserting that Biden is “unfit to serve as Commander in Chief”; last month Trump ran a digital ad portraying Biden as perpetually confused and mentally unstable. Most recently, Trump said questions about his own health are only in the news because “they want to try and get me to be on Biden's physical level."
DHS is just the latest agency in the Trump administration to erode election security, following actions by the Justice Department and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence (ODNI) last month. DNI John Ratcliffe announced he was ending in-person congressional briefings on election security ahead of November and AG Bill Barr removed a leading career official at the Justice Department’s national security division, replacing him with an inexperienced political appointee. The ODNI’s decision to halt congressional election briefs may have been influenced by top White House officials. National Security Adviser Robert O’Brien and Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, among others, have repeatedly discussed in meetings with staff and with Trump “how to restrict and control the flow of information on such sensitive topics to Capitol Hill.”
One White House official told The Daily Beast that Meadows has for months been wary of the type of briefings on Capitol Hill that Democratic sources can potentially use to try to make Trump look bad through surreptitious leaks to media outlets.
Meanwhile, interim Chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee Marco Rubio (R-FL) said last week that his committee will be granted an exception to the ODNI’s new policy and continue to receive in-person briefings from top U.S. intelligence officials about election-security issues. This essentially means that only Democrat-led committees have been cut out of the process ensuring election security. House Democrats wrote to Ratcliffe insinuating if his office does not provide the previously scheduled briefings this month they will issue subpoenas and/or defund the ODNI in the appropriations bill due by the end of the month. Read the letter here. In addition to attacks on Biden’s health, DHS has determined that Russia is seeking to “amplify” concerns over the integrity of U.S. elections by promoting allegations that mail-in voting will lead to widespread fraud. Intelligence analysts say this strategy has been underway since at least March, coinciding with Trump’s own assaults on mail-in voting.
For instance, in March Trump said if he agreed to funding vote-by-mail expansions in the first coronavirus stimulus bill, the U.S. would see “levels of voting that, if you ever agreed to it, you’d never have a Republican elected in this country again” (clip). Fact check: Neither party has historically benefited. On April 7, at the White House press briefing, Trump claimed: "Mail ballots are a very dangerous thing for this country, because they're cheaters… They're fraudulent in many cases" (clip). Fact check: There is no evidence that mail ballots are dangerous or fraudulent.
At a White House press briefing on Friday, Trump denied there is any proof that Russia poisoned opposition leader Alexei Navalny. Instead of backing the German government's analysis of Nalvany's illness, Trump then redirected the criticism from Russia to China (clip).
"I don't know exactly what happened. I think it's tragic. It's terrible; it shouldn't happen. We haven't had any proof yet, but I will take a look. It is interesting that everybody is always mentioning Russia - and I don't mind you mentioning Russia - but I think probably China, at this point, is a nation that you should be talking about much more so than Russia. Because the things that China's doing are far worse.”
Trump then went on to say he’s “taken stronger action against Russia than any other country in the world,” but added “I do get along with President Putin” (clip).
RELATED: Leaked notes obtained by the Telegraph say that when Theresa May asked for Trump to take a strong stand after Russia poisoned Sergei Skripal, Trump replied “I’d rather follow than lead.” He pushed May to “put together a coalition” first.
The Trump administration plans to deport a Russian national living in America, a move experts say is in response to a politically motivated request by Russia. Gregory Duralev was persecuted by the Russian state for exposing corruption. He fled to America and applied for asylum in 2015. While waiting for a decision on his application, he was arrested by ICE and jailed for nearly 18 months. His case is now in court.
“DHS has acted no better than the Russian authorities,” Duralev said. “They simply fabricated charges against me for violations I never committed — and if DHS can trump up charges against immigrants with impunity, nobody can guarantee they won’t start doing it” to regular Americans. “So that’s the main message I now hope to send.”
Michael Cohen & Peter Strzok
Former FBI agent Peter Strzok has a book coming out called “Compromised.” In it, he alleges that FBI investigators came to believe it was “conceivable, if unlikely” that Russia was secretly controlling President Trump after he took office:
“We certainly had evidence that this was the case: that Trump, while gleefully wreaking havoc on America’s political institutions and norms, was pulling his punches when it came to our historic adversary, Russia,” Strzok writes. “Given what we knew or had cause to suspect about Trump’s compromising behavior in the weeks, months, and years leading up to the election, moreover, it also seemed conceivable, if unlikely, that Moscow had indeed pulled off the most stunning intelligence achievement in human history: secretly controlling the president of the United States — a Manchurian candidate elected.”
He now says he doesn’t believe that Trump is literally a Russian spy: “I don’t think that Trump, when he meets with Putin, receives a task list for the next quarter,” Strzok said, referencing the Russian president, Vladimir Putin. “But I do think the president is compromised, that he is unable to put the interests of our nation first, that he acts from hidden motives, because there is leverage over him, held specifically by the Russians but potentially others as well.” In an interview with Politico, Strzok confirms that he and then-deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe, opened a counterintelligence case on the president, but that it likely was never pursued. Two weeks ago, NYT reported that Rosenstein secretly closed it. As if there weren’t enough political books coming out this summefall, Michael Cohen is releasing his, called “Disloyal: A Memoir.” The following a couple of quick takeaways: Cohen says that he, Trump, Aras Agalarov, Emin Agalarov, and others, watched a strip show in Las Vegas where one performer simulated peeing on another performer, who pretended to drink it. Trump reportedly reacted with “delight.” Aras Agalarov, a Russian real estate mogul, is a trusted associate of Putin and reportedly served as a liaison between Trump and the Russian president during Trump’s trip to Moscow. WaPo:
On Russia, Cohen writes that the cause behind Trump’s admiration of Russian President Vladimir Putin is simpler than many of his critics assume. Above all, he writes, Trump loves money — and he wrongly identified Putin as “the richest man in the world by a multiple.” Trump loved Putin, Cohen wrote, because the Russian leader had the ability “to take over an entire nation and run it like it was his personal company — like the Trump Organization, in fact.” ...According to Cohen, Trump’s sycophantic praise of the Russian leader during the 2016 campaign began as a way to suck up and ensure access to the oligarch’s money after he lost the election. But he claims Trump came to understand that Putin’s hatred of Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton, dating to her support for the 2011 protest movement in Russia, could also help Trump amass more power in the United States.
USPS & mail voting
According to a Washington Post report yesterday, Postmaster Louis DeJoy engaged in campaign money laundering, also called a straw-donor scheme, at his former logistics business. Five of his former employees told WaPo that they were “urged” to donate to politicians in North Carolina and would be paid back through bonuses from DeJoy. Such a plan would allow DeJoy to illegally circumvent campaign donation limits.
“Louis was a national fundraiser for the Republican Party. He asked employees for money. We gave him the money, and then he reciprocated by giving us big bonuses,” said David Young, DeJoy’s longtime director of human resources, who had access to payroll records at New Breed from the late 1990s to 2013 and is now retired. “He would ask employees to make contributions at the same time that he would say, ‘I’ll get it back to you down the road,’ ” said [another] former employee. ...A Washington Post analysis of federal and state campaign finance records found a pattern of extensive donations by New Breed employees to Republican candidates, with the same amount often given by multiple people on the same day. Between 2000 and 2014, 124 individuals who worked for the company together gave more than $1 million to federal and state GOP candidates. Many had not previously made political donations, and have not made any since leaving the company, public records show.
More than one million mail-in ballots were sent late to voters during the 2020 primary elections, an audit by the USPS IG’s office determined. Most of the ballots were late, the USPS says, because local election boards sent the ballots to voters at the last minute. Official press release.
[The audit] found the problems during primaries had been most pronounced in Kentucky and New York, where a combined 628,000 ballots were sent out late. In 17 states, the audit found, more than 589,000 ballots were sent from election boards to voters after the state’s ballot mailing deadline. In 11 states, more than 44,000 ballots were sent from election boards to voters the day of or the day before the state’s primary election. One particularly troubling situation, auditors found, unfolded in Pennsylvania, where 500 ballots were sent to voters the day after the election.
Furthermore, only 13% of the ballots were mailed with the recommended bar code tracking technology. Florida Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D) was blocked from attending two scheduled tours of USPS facilities last week. Local Postal Service officials informed her and union leaders waiting to accompany her into the building that national USPS leadership had directed them to bar the group from the building. A Postal Service spokeswoman said they simply needed more notice for a tour. Many states, including important battleground states, are not legally permitted to process mail-in/absentee ballots until Election Day, leading to concern that results will be delayed by days or weeks. For instance, in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan election officials cannot even begin processing ballots until Election Day. Processing involves opening envelopes, flattening ballots to run through the scanning machine, and prepping for the scanning.
"When voters have to wait so long for results, it erodes trust in the process and leaves room for partisan bad actors to dispute the will of the people," said Amber McReynolds, CEO of the National Vote at Home Institute, a nonprofit organization.
AG Bill Barr made three stunning false claims about mail voting during an interview with Wolf Blitzer last week. First, Barr wouldn’t even acknowledge that voting twice is a crime - because just hours earlier, Trump encouraged his North Carolina supporters to vote twice to “test” the state’s mail-in voting system (clip).
BLITZER: It sounds like he’s encouraging people to break the law and try to vote twice. BARR: It seems to me what he’s saying is, he’s trying to make the point that the ability to monitor this system is not good. And it was so good, if you tried to vote a second time you would be caught if you voted in person. BLITZER: That would be illegal if they did that. If somebody mailed in a ballot and then actually showed up to vote in person, that would be illegal. BARR: "I don't know what the law in the particular state says.” BLITZER: You can’t vote twice. BARR: "I don't know what the law in the particular state says.”
Then, Barr tried to assert that foreign countries could fake ballots, but when challenged he admitted he had no evidence (clip).
BLITZER: You’ve said you were worried that a foreign country could send thousands of fake ballots, thousands of fake ballots to people that it might be impossible to detect. What are you basing that on? BARR: I’m basing — as I’ve said repeatedly, I’m basing that on logic. BLITZER: Pardon? BARR: Logic.
Finally, Barr cited a supposed incident of mail-in voting fraud in Texas. Too bad it doesn’t exist.
Charles Rettig, the Trump-appointed IRS Commissioner who has refused to release President Trump’s tax returns, has made hundreds of thousands of dollars renting out Trump properties while in office. Rettig makes $100,000 - $200,000 a year from two units at Trump International Waikiki. When first nominated, Rettig failed to disclose his financial ties to Trump Waikiki. When questioned by Congress, he did not directly answer concerns about the properties.
CREW: With Trump’s name removed from some buildings as it began to hurt property values, we can only imagine how toxic it would become if a bombshell in his tax returns were released. Which means the IRS Commissioner has a vested interest in the success of the Trump brand—and of preventing anything that could damage it.
Voice of America staffers say Trump appointee Michael Pack is threatening to wash away legal protections intended to insulate their news reports from political meddling. Since arriving, Pack has fired the network's leaders, pushed out agency executives, refused to approve allotted budgets, and refused to renew visas for foreign employees.
Further reading: “Deleted Biden video sets off a crisis at Voice of America,” Politico.
Pack suggested the staff he fired and foreign journalists he essentially kicked out may have been foreign spies, without offering any evidence to support his claim. A group of 14 senior VOA journalists are openly disputing his explanation:
“Mr. Pack has made a thin excuse that his actions are meant to protect national security, but just as was the case with the McCarthy ‘Red Scare,’ which targeted VOA and other government organizations in the mid-1950s, there has not been a single demonstrable case of any individual working for VOA — as the USAGM CEO puts it — ‘posing as a spy,’ ” they wrote.
The White House is searching for a replacement for Federal Trade Commission Chair Joe Simons, a Republican who has publicly resisted President Donald Trump’s efforts to crack down on social media companies. Simons, a veteran antitrust lawyer, cannot legally be removed by the president except in cases of gross negligence. But the White House has already interviewed at least one candidate for the post.
RELATED: The Justice Department plans to bring an antitrust case against Google as soon as this month, after Attorney General William P. Barr overruled career lawyers who said they needed more time to build a strong case.
Richard Grenell, formerly the highest-ranking out gay official in the Trump administration, has joined a law firm founded by Pat Robertson that has a history of opposing LGBTQ+ rights. Grenell also recently joined the Republican National Committee to do outreach to LGBTQ+ voters. The Trump administration has quietly named a new acting State Department inspector general. Matthew Klimow, the U.S. ambassador to Turkmenistan since mid-2019, is the third acting IG since Trump and Pompeo ousted Senate-confirmed IG Steve Linick in May. Mick Mulvaney, Trump’s current special envoy to Northern Ireland, former Chief of Staff, and former acting head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, is starting a hedge fund focused on financial services regulation. Ethics experts say Mulvaney explicitly using his knowledge of CFPB to place bets for and against companies gives him an unfair and perhaps illegal advantage.
Court and DOJ matters
Court cases The Trump administration must, for now, stop winding down in-person counting efforts for the 2020 census, a federal judge in California ordered. The three-judge panel hearing a challenge to Trump’s new anti-immigrant census policy seemed hostile to the government’s arguments in a hearing last week. A federal judge has stopped the Trump administration from enforcing a rule change that would let health care providers deny medical services to LGBTQ patients on the grounds of religion. Justice Department Federal prosecutors are preparing to charge longtime GOP fundraiser Elliott Broidy in connection with efforts to influence the U.S. government on behalf of foreign interests. Broidy helped raise millions for Donald Trump’s election and the Republican Party. Barr ordered another round of changes to FISA rules, tightening the use of government surveillance on political candidates or their staffers — a move conservatives will likely cheer, as they have long criticized how the FBI investigated the Trump campaign in 2016.
Before conducting physical searches or wiretaps of a federal election official, members of the official's staff, candidates for federal office, or their staff or advisers, the FBI must now consider giving them a "defensive briefing," to tell them that they could be the target of foreign influence.
2020.09.02 19:45 teddy0088My parents treat my younger siblings better than they ever treated me. It's really messing with my head.
I'm the oldest of 10 kids. Growing up, we were VERY poor. My dad (Who I didn't really know) was a janitor, my step dad worked various odd jobs, and my mom was a waitress. We didnt have a working car for most of my childhood. There were 10 of us kids, and I was the oldest by almost 5 years. Growing up, I was constantly stressed. My parents told me every problem we had becuase I was "An old soul". I grew up fearing evictions and past due electric bills. My stepdad was violent. My dad never came around. My mom was an addict. I'm now 22 and things are much different in their family. I haven't lived there since I was 17, so I dont really consider that my family or my house. My stepfather got a better job and is making more money. My 9 younger siblings don't worry about money the way I did... They don't fear being homeless the way I did. My mom got 4 of my siblings braces for their crooked teeth...I had to purchase my own at 18 and got into major debt. My mom and stepdad have 3 of my siblings in therapy...I was told therapy for "Weak people" and too expensive. My step father was put on antidepressants and no longer hits anyone...He hit me on a daily basis growing up. My mom and stepfather love and hug those children...My stepfather and father never hugged me becuase they thought I was gay. My parents have a new working car...I walked to school. My stepdad just put in an inground pool for the kids...I had to eat food from food shelters and wear clothes from the salvation army My parents take the younger kids to the beach every year...I never left the state of Pennsylvania until I was 22. My dad sent my younger sister to school at the University of Pittsburgh...They couldnt even send me to community college... I took care of those kids my ENTIRE childhood...My mom doesnt let the kids take care of each other now...She has money to hire babysitters now. Thats something that wouldve changed my life. I was suicidal over that responsibility. There are so many other instances of this happening. I grew up in a different time than my siblings. Im glad they are living better childhoods than I did...but why did I have to live the bad childhood? Why did I have to grow up before I was ready? Why did I have to be abused? Why did I have to grow up dirt poor? Why couldnt I have been loved? It's really starting to mess with my head. Did they even love me or care for me? Or was I just a babysitter to them?
2020.08.31 23:14 JrubasMy Friend's Bed Was Haunted by Sexual Energy
I was signing autographs in a downtown Richmond book boutique when Henry came in. I had been there for over four hours, sitting at a folding table scribbling my name on the inside covers of endless copies of Night Terrors, and was exhausted. My arm ached and my head throbbed. Meeting a perpetual flow of fans, many of them gushing, is hell to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love them dearly, but social situations tend to repel me, and actually engaging people I don’t know is an awkward near impossibility. It was nearing one, dark and nasty without, and I was longing for a nice long nap in my hotel room when Henry’s turn came. I thought that the woman before him, a middle-aged blond in a brown leather jacket, would never leave. But thankfully Mr. Preston, the owner of the shop, ushered her away in his prissy manner. I smiled at the man whom I did not recognize as Henry. He was tall and pale, his wavy black hair limp and lusterless, the flesh of his face tight and his eyes an unhealthy pink which bespoke sleepless nights. He smiled wearily yet warmly. Without a word he passed me his copy of Night Terrors. “And how are you today?” I asked as I sat the book down, my blue Sharpie pen, the second one of the day, poised. “Just peachy,” he croaked, and I at once knew the voice. I looked up, and Henry was still grinning as if through pain. “Henry!” I cried happily, and extended my hand. He took it, and it was like a block of ice. I and Henry were like brothers since time out of mind; our parents were high school friends who lived next to each other in the Pickett subdivision on Thomas Street, and from diapers we were always together, on play dates, camping trips, and backyard pool parties. We were inseparable all through our school years, and only parted, tearfully and grudgingly, when I left Picketts Meade to study at UVA in 1997. Since then, we had seen very little of each other, as I lived mostly in New York City and he in the house willed to him by his childless aunt and uncle. “Hey, man,” he said, “what’s goin on?” “Not much,” I said, “same old stuff. Working and all that. What about you?” He shrugged. “Same here, pretty much. Listen, are you free this afternoon?” “Sure, what’s up?” “I got a ghost,” he said, as though the words were kidney stones. “Sure, I’d be happy to come by.” Henry smiled again. “Thanks. You know where my aunt’s old place is, right?” “Ahhh, no, I forgot.” “Okay, here.” Henry pulled out his wallet and opened it. In the translucent slot where preening fathers proudly put pictures of their children, there was a faded Polaroid of two boys, one tall and skinny, the other short and fat, at a lake on a summer day in 1988, mugging it up with their arms thrown around the other’s shoulder. I had the same one in my wallet. Henry produced a small piece of creased paper and, with my pen, jotted down the directions. “I’ll be there at around four or so,” I said, sticking the paper into my blazer’s breast pocket. “Thanks a million, man, I can’t tell you the kinda shit I been goin through.” “I can imagine.” “Good book; is it number one?” I snickered. “Ahead of Glenn Beck? I wish.” Henry shrugged. “Still a classic. I can’t believe some of the shit. All of it’s real?” “As you and I,” I replied. I jotted down my name and a small, personal message onto the inside cover, and handed it back to Henry. “I’ll see you,” he said. “I’ll be there,” I responded with a smile. *** Almost two hours later I left the bookstore by the back door, emerged into a narrow ally of grimy brick walls, and carefully crept toward busy 5thstreet. Above, the sky was malevolently silent. Before leaving the relative safety of the alley, I looked both ways along the sidewalk, and found it empty save for several rushing, bundled forms. For a moment I was reminded of those old shots of The Beatles running from mad throngs of screaming women through the streets of London, and smiled. I stepped into a freezing gust and hurried up the sidewalk, passing drab storefronts darkened by the gloomy afternoon light. A Ford Focus passed by on the street in a splash of puddled rain, its red taillights glowing satanically in the mist. Ahead, a brave hotdog vendor, possibly a transplanted New Yorker, stood tensely behind his cart, ready to feed the world. He offered me a taste of his wares, and the almost desperate imploring of his voice touched me. Imagining poverty and mounting bills, I bought a small fountain Coke even though I wasn’t thirsty, and almost as soon as I was out of sight I cast the cup into a metal trash bin, the clanking ice cubes within having sapped the heat from my hand. Slowly the scenery bled into one of the residential. Dirty Brownstone tenements marched dismally into the ashen day, their crumbling stoops guarded by rusted metal sentries overflowing with rank refuse. I finally came to the small lot where I had left my Jeep in-between a pick-up truck and a hatchback. The latter was gone, replaced by a small red Beetle. I fished the keys from my pocket and opened the driver side door. Behind the wheel, I started the engine and the radio came to life with one bland Taylor Swift song or another. Before leaving I slipped Krokus’ Change of Address into the CD player, and slowly cruised back the way I had come. Several minutes later I took a sloping onramp and met the babbling interstate; before I joined the flow I waited for several large Mac trucks to scream by in their shrouds of water mist. The meager Richmond skyline stretched away to the east, interrupted only by the wide river which bisects the city. Maybe it was the mood and light of the afternoon, but the city seemed a deserted necropolis, the buildings bizarre Druid ruins rising black against the sky. Once on the interstate I noticed that several idiots cars next to mine were busy blabbering into their cell-phones or texting. I’m not the kind of guy who wants to ban this and that, or the kind of asshole who preaches his opinion to everybody, but I know what can happen on a freeway when someone wants to whip out the old Droid and chat. One girl, with wet black hair and dressed in a loose white t-shirt, flipped me off when I motioned hang up and drive. Women, I thought with a grin, they taste good…but the heartburn! I soon took rural Exit 154 and coasted into the parking lot of a small roadside gas station fed by a narrow hillside lane. I pulled under the gas-pump shelter and killed Marc Storace in the middle of Burning up the Night. I searched my hip pocket and checked the directions again. The name of the town was Fairfield, not too far north of the city. I got out into the damp and filled the jeep up with juice, wincing at the price. With that done, I crossed the open space between the pumps and the store, my hair dampening, and entered. After waiting for a white man in a mossy oak camo cap to buy a six pack of Bud Ice and a black woman to purchase a pack of condoms and tampons (an ungodly mix, if you ask me), it came my turn. The wispy old man behind the counter, wearing country regulation suspenders over his button up work shirt, studied me for a long moment. “Hey, you’re that writer fella, aintcha?” he asked with a rough smile, revealing that his teeth were mostly black or tarnished gold. Despite a swelling of pride in my chest, I wanted desperately to avoid an embarrassing scene. “No.” “Hm. You look a lot like ‘im. She loves all that damn ghost huntin’ garbage.” I paid for the gas, and the old man wished me a good afternoon with a crooked grin. Once back in my car, I again studied the directions, trying to absorb them so that I wouldn’t have to constantly consult them in transit. Feeling confident that I could make it on my own, I started up the engine and followed the ascending byway toward Fairfield. I soon left behind all urban pretense and found myself speeding through low hills and tiny hamlets made up of slanted wood structures decades past their prime. It had begun to rain more steadily. Crossing the murky Roman River, I saw that it had overflowed its banks. The winding lane took me past yet more hilly farmland enclosed by strands of barbed wire, putting me slightly in mind of northern England. When I came to the outer limits of Fairfield, which sat across another, smaller, swollen river, I was greeted by a white board sign proclaiming it as The Nicest Town in America. Main Street, lined with gray brick shops dating from the 1920s, sank down into the rest of the town, from which a white church spire rose into the air, and a blue water tower next to a tall brick schoolhouse loomed supernaturally forth from the thick valley mist. The sidewalk boasted fiery trees, the embers of which carpeted the wet concrete. At the four-way intersection, the only cars that I met were a station wagon going to the east part of town, a minivan heading back the way I had come, and an SUV going down into the heart of the town, which lied spread before the hill like a fog enshrouded dream. I took the left and followed the street for a time, passing a small doctor’s office and the police station. The big roll-top doors of the local volunteer fire department were open, and I glimpsed several men in the gloom lazily wiping down the sleeping green dragon within. A group of children struggled down the sidewalk with crammed backpacks dragging along the wet pavement. A boy on a ten-speed bike shot past them and hung a sharp right, taking a small dead-end road ending at the foot of the hill. In the rear view mirror a large yellow school grinded to a halt, the red lights on its mounted stop sign blinking rhythmically. Teenagers tumbled out and hurried across. Lee Street was an odd mix of ranch and Victorian houses, all beautiful and tastefully enclosed by hedges or withering gardens. A few of the larger homes were sectioned off with low stone walls waist high to a man. The last house on the left was tall and narrow, dating back at least to the latter half of the 1890s. With spires and gingerbread trim it affected a stately air. I parked along the street and sat for a moment, memories washing over me. I and Henry had come here several summers during our childhood. Being unable to have children, Jo and Oscar doted on us so much it was almost cloying. They were rabid antique collectors, and spent thirty happy years hoarding history together before Flight 93 went down over Pennsylvania on the eleventh of September, 2001. I killed the engine and got out into a brisk slap of wind. After waiting for a minivan to swoosh past, I crossed the street. The grass along the flagstone walk was encroachingly tall, and I wondered if Henry’s ghost had hidden his lawnmower. I bounded up the porch and knocked on the door. I waited in the cold for a moment, a wind from the west raking my flesh. Finally, as I cocked my fist to knock again, the door opened, and was filled with Henry, dressed as he had been at the bookstore. “Hey, man” he greeted and moved aside. “Long time no see,” I smiled. Stepping across the threshold, I was immediately struck by the heaviness of the atmosphere, crushing down on me like the world upon Atlas’s shoulders. I staggered, and Henry at one grabbed my arm and helped steady me. “Uh-oh,” he said, “I don’t like that.” “I’m fine,” I lied, looking suspiciously about myself, “just tired.” I didn’t at once remember what such a black heft meant, but I did know that it wasn’t good. At all. “Well, if you wanna go back…” “Nah,” I dismissed, “I’m alright.” “Okay,” Henry said and led me from the shadowy foyer and into a wide parlor. A large bay window, an ugly modern addition, sat across the room, uncurtained. Save for tall, dusty bookshelves along either wall, the only other furnishings in the room were a couch piled with tangled blankets and a pillow, and two armchairs. Henry showed me to one of the chairs and took the one across from me. “So, what’s up? How’s life treating you?” I sighed. “Alright. I hate the touring, though. I can’t stand being on the road.” “Ah,” he dismissed me with a wave of the hand, “you always were a little homebody. I love the open road. Nothing like it. You want a drink?” I nodded. “Coke,” he warned me. “Better be.” He laughed and moved off to the kitchen, leaving me alone in the room. The dark feeling pressed down on me harder than it had been, compressing my chest. I tried to take a deep breath, but was unable. It was like standing on a high butte overlooking a strange plain in a dark world, the air thin and sour. Henry returned with two Cokes. He handed me one and sat back down. “Sorry they’re not cold. I just bought ‘em on the way back.” “That’s fine,” I said, opening mine and taking a long drink. Henry sat his between his legs. “I saw you on Ghost Hunters last month,” he said with something like pride, “I was over at my old girlfriend’s house and when your mug popped out, I about went crazy. “Hey, I know that guy!”” My appearance on the popular SYFY Channel show had been little more than a publicity stunt engineered by my agent. I was against it from the first, but ending up going on anyway. The target was a 13th Century castle on an Irish bluff overlooking the crashing sea. Supposedly, a family of werewolves had lived there in the sixteen hundreds. “They’re a sham,” I said, glancing around as if expecting a hostile apparition to materialize. Maybe I was. “Who?” “Those attention whores,” I said, referring to the ‘ghost hunters’. “There weren’t any ghosts. It was all faked. The noises. The mist. All of it. “I figured,” Henry said, “they usually are.” “I guess,” I looked around. “Yeah.” Henry finished off his Coke and sat the empty can at his foot. “So, what have you been doing?” I asked, “just hanging out?” “Yeah,” he said, “aunt Jo and uncle Oscar weren’t rich. They had money, but not much. The way the recession’s going, I’m probably gonna have to go back to work soon.” “Sometimes I wish I could just stop writing and investigating and all that and just live off my books’ proceeds,” I confided, “live the life without doing the work.” Henry chuckled. “You’re lucky; you got a kick-ass job. I’m most likely gonna end up at Food-Lion or something.” “Gotta start somewhere,” I said. “Maybe we can write a novel together.” Both of us had tried as children to write our own horror stories. Henry’s were mostly better than mine. “Maybe,” he seemed to taste the idea. I opened my mouth to reply, but a stiff gust of wind slammed into the house, and I jolted. Henry laughed. “Scared?” I shook my head. “No, not really. I just…well, what exactly are we dealing with, here?” Henry sobered, his face darkening. “I…I been thinking how to word this for a while now.” He paused. “You ever hear that phrase La petite mort?” I missed a beat. “What?” “You know, that French metaphor? It refers to a state of euphoria after you “finish.”” “Yeah, I know.” Henry sat grasping for a moment. “People believe that some kind of spiritual lifeforce is…expelled when you cum. Somehow that’s like dying or something.” “Uh-huh,” I nodded awkwardly. “And in Ghosts and Ghouls, you said that some people think a ghost is just…leftover human energy. Right?” “The atheists and agnostics in the field, yes.” “Do you think it’s possible that…that release of energy can leave a…a ghostly residue?” I laughed. “Henry, that’s just a metaphor; it doesn’t mean anything.” “Are you sure?” I opened my mouth, but closed it again. I couldn’t honestly say that I was. “What…what makes you ask that?” “It’s my bed,” he replied darkly. “Your bed?” He nodded. “Remember Sarah Kerns?” For a moment I drew a blank, and then an angular face framed in raven hair materialized before my mind’s eye. “Sure,” I said, “your girlfriend in eighth grade. What about her?” “Remember how she moved over the summer, before we started high school?” I nodded. Her father was in some kind of business that forced him to relocate often. I can’t remember what it was, though. “The night before she left, she came over to my house and we did it...” “Alright,” I urged, and then it dawned on me. “You still have the same bed, don’t you?” He shrugged. “Never saw a good reason to get rid of it.” “And you’ve…done a lot in it, huh?” “A lot,” he admitted. “And now you think…what, all that combined energy has created a sort of ghost?” “Look, I know it’s crazy, but just hear me out, okay?” “Okay.” Henry took a deep breath and began. Several weeks before crying out to me for help, he told me, he had been lying awake in bed. It was a windy night and he was as far from sleep as a man can get, so, as he watched the darkened ceiling, he let his mind drift unfettered. He had always had a fertile imagination, and was entertaining himself with undisclosed fantasies when, all of a sudden, the foot of the bed lurched to one side, as though booted by an angry WWE star after an in-ring betrayal. “Man, that scared the shit outta me,” Henry said. “I froze up and just laid there for a minute. Then it happened again, and this time I got knocked off.” Frightened, Henry jumped up, fell in the sheets tangled at his feet, and flew down the stairs. “I sat here in the living room for a little while. After a half hour or so, I decided it was a nightmare and went back up. In the room, I flipped on the light switch and…” He was quiet for a long moment, looking down at his ashen hands. “And there was a fuckin dead girl spread out on the bed, covered in blood and shit.” I gasped softly at this, my heart freezing in mid beat. “You’re sure?” I asked incredulously. He nodded without looking up. “Yeah. And she looked like Hanna Giles…you remember her, right?” I did. She was a cheerleader during school, a tall drink of blond perfection. She and Henry spent much of the 11th grade getting hot and heavy together before he grew bored and found another conquest. “And…and she…sat up, her fuckin eyes were black and she had these long Dracula fangs. She opened up her legs and…fucking blood gushed out.” He stopped at my hiss of horror. “It looked like…you know, in The Shinning, when that elevator opens up in the beginning?” I nodded, my mouth slightly agape. “I saw that shit and lost my mind. I ran out the front door and down the street. Spent the rest of the night in a booth at the diner, too afraid to come home.” In the morning, Henry stretched out in the parlor. “I was having dinner the next day. A buffalo chicken Hungry Man. So, I was sitting at the kitchen table eating, when something above my head, in the room, crashed against the floor. And right after, I heard this long, high pitched laugh.” Stiff with terror, Henry remained unmoving at the table for nearly an hour before packing up and going to a motel for a few days. “I was starting to think it was a nightmare, but when that shit happened…” Henry eventually returned, convinced that the “ghosts”, while frightening, were harmless. “So, one night, I got brave and went back upstairs to see what would happen.” After several uneventful hours, Henry was on the border of sleep when something, something cold and dry, wrapped around his throat. “It felt like hands, little…you know, a woman’s hands.” The world grayed as Henry clawned at the phantom hands to no avail. He nearly collapsed into death before they suddenly and inexplicably spared him. “That was the other night. I was about to leave, go get a motel or something, but I heard you were coming down, so I thought I’d see if you could help me.” For a long moment I sat in brooding silence. In 1999, I left school to work for a noted regional paranormal researcher named John Haggis. I accompanied him on many outings, most of them busts. Only three confirmed cases of the genuinely supernatural came across our desk in the three years I worked with him, one of them being the demonic haunting of a bar in Headwaters, a tiny hamlet nestled in the Shenandoah foothills southwest of Harrisonburg. I learned several things from our experience there. One: Demons despise the presence of a professional. Two: While ghosts can, on extremely rare occasions, possess human beings, only demons can shapeshift and actually harm someone without the use of a human agent. “Have…have you ever smelled sulfur here?” I asked, my voice natural, at least to my own ears. “Rotten eggs? No, why?” “You’ve been left alone outside the room, right?” “Yeah. What about the sulfur?” he seemed impatient. I ignored him and looked from one shadowy corner to another, the house bathed in a sour, uneasy silence. I was shocked to find myself wanting to get as away from the house as I could. “Henry,” I drew, my eyes darting apprehensively, “there…” I stopped. How would he take hearing that a demon was in his house? But was it really a demon we were dealing with? I couldn’t be sure; I’m not, after all, a demonologist. “What?” he asked, his tone low and worried. If it was, then it appeared to be attached to the bed somehow, like a ghost to a favorite rocking chair… “…I doubt that your ghost is made of girl goo.” I at length flashed a smile, hoping that it didn’t look too fake. “I’ve heard of similar cases, and they are relatively easy to deal with.” “Really?” Henry’s face brightened for the first time all day, and his tone was one of a child in the presence of a shyster birthday-party magician. “Yeah,” I said, “no problem. Tomorrow I’ll call some people and they’ll conduct…sort of an exorcism. It’ll be a breeze.” Henry sighed, relieved. “Okay.” I looked again from corner to corner. “Hey, you want to go and get some dinner, my treat?” Henry smiled again, his dark eyes alight. “Sure.” We took my car, and drove off into the thickening gloom. Main Street was busier than it had been when I entered town; it was past six, and people were returning home from work in droves. “Take a left up here,” Henry said as we approached the four-way, “and go for about…five miles. Place called Ryan’s.” I nodded, lost in thought. I would have to call Tom Youngblood, the only demonologist in the Richmond area, in the morning. And maybe I would have to call the Catholic Church in town, too. Then again, the church has tried in recent years to distance itself from the supernatural. I took the left, and descended down into the heart of Fairfield. Queerly, about a mile of hillside between the upper and lower sections had been left undeveloped, and was currently a hopeless tangle of dead grass. “Man, I feel like a weight’s been lifted,” Henry said as we passed the dark shops and rain sluiced sidewalks, empty save for the phantom trees along the edge. “You can really do all of this tomorrow?” “Yeah,” I said confidently. I took a deep breath, and seemed to blow away all of the mounting worry crushing my chest. I only had to call Tom and a priest, and they would take it from there. They were experts. It might not be an easy break, but it would get done. Demons were actually weak in the presence of religious men; which is why I abandoned my former atheism. “Good. I can’t wait to get this shit behind me. It’s been a living hell, you know?” I nodded, and then realized that it was probably too dark for Henry to see. “Yeah, I bet it’ll feel really good.” “Like a million bucks,” Henry said. “And…get rid of the damn bed. I don’t think that what we’re dealing with is…what you thought, but just burn it. It’s possible that the ghost is attached to it for some reason.” “Way ahead of you, man,” Henry said. “I’m gonna go down to Mattress Warehouse and get me a new one tomorrow.” At the end of town, just before the beginning of the dark, wet woods, I slowed at the traffic light, pulling to a stop alongside a school bus; the small lights affixed to the ceiling within were on against the dark. I saw a few dark silhouettes through the rectangular windows, and ascertained from their distorted shapes that they belonged to the high school’s football team. “And…don’t have all your fun in one place, okay?” I said as we got back underway, the bus falling behind in the darkness. “I ain’t gonna have that kinda fun for a long time.” “Yeah, bullshit,” I jested in hopes of further lightening the mood, “you can’t go a week without having sex with someone…or something.” Henry chuckled. “Yeah? I once went a month without doin your mom.” “She needed that long to stop laughing at your…handicap.” Henry laughed. “Okay. Just wait till we get there; take you in the bathroom and show you what’s up.” I snorted. “What’s limp.” “It won’t be limp when I shove it down…” The restaurant, a sparkling oasis cloaked in primal black, loomed so quickly from the darkness that I nearly missed the turn. “Alright,” Henry said after I had slid us into a slanted parking spot facing the empty road, his penis forgotten, “let’s get some grub.” “You look like a German Jew,” I said as we got out of the car, “you need a good meal.” “Yeah, thanks, mom,” Henry said as we crossed the parking lot. Through the big front windows, we could see happy families sharing joyful meals in the warm brightness. We came to the double doors, and both held them open for the shuffling passage of an elderly couple. “Thank you,” the old man rasped and nodded as he helped his wife past us and toward a silver Cadillac parked in one of the closest handicap spots. They were immediately followed by two teenage girls in gym shorts and pink tops. “What is it with kids dressing like that when it’s cold?” I whispered as we entered the restaurant, assaulted at once by the good odors of many steaming, mingling foods. “If you got it flaunt it,” Henry reckoned. We walked up to the long lunch counter and took cups, silverware and plastic trays from a hotplate guarded from inconsiderate sneezers by smudged plastic. We waited behind a party of rowdy college students to pay the casher. We paid the chipper blond behind the register and were shown by a young sleepy eyed man in a red t-shirt and black slacks to a booth along the far wall of the room, mercifully away from the main population. Henry was immediately off to fix himself a plate at the buffet. I sat at the booth for a moment, looking around the brightly lit room. It was crowded with families, mostly, passing food and laughing over their tables. After another moment of inventorying how many people I would have to pass to get to the drink machine, I got up and moved to the Coke island. Apart from the dispenser there sat a plain metal canister marked with the picture of a tall, frosty glass of chocolate milk looming forward like a favorite uncle. I considered for a moment, and finally decided to get the milk, the likes of which I haven’t tasted since I was a child. As I drew the dark liquid into my clear cup, a beefy older man in a brown leather jacket walked unthinkingly up to the machine and filled his cup with Sprite, all the while gasping softly to himself about someone named Mony-Mony. Sidestepping a yellow WET FLOOR sign at the head of a nasty spill, I went back to the booth where Henry sat, bent protectively over a plate of fried chicken and breaded shrimp. I took my plate and quickly filled it up with French fries, several times nearly colliding with a young boy in small glasses examining each bright pile of food as if he would die if he did not detect the poison on his choices. At the booth I splattered a liberal amount of Tabasco sauce on the golden potatoes and dug in, my chocolate milk standing dutifully by should I need its aid. “Remember Donny West?” Henry asked around a mouthful of food. I nodded. Donny had been one of our friends as kids before his mother moved the family to West Virginia. A beefy kid with red hair and deep freckles. “Yeah. How can I forget?” “He died.” “What?” I asked, a bit of fry falling from my mouth and landing on the plate. Henry nodded and swallowed. “I talked to his sister on Facebook, and she said he was drinking and wrecked his car into a tree a couple years ago. Took two of his friends with him.” “That’s horrible,” I said numbly. Though I had not seen Donny in years, to hear that a once close friend was dead broke my heart. “You remember what he did on April Fool’s Day that one time?” I asked Henry after a long, respectful moment of silence. Henry nodded. “He had balls to do that.” Donny, much more a practical joker than even Henry, had run the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy up the flag pole before school started that day. What made it even funnier were the facts that no one even noticed until lunch, and that the school sat right on the main highway in Picketts Meade. “Yeah,” I sighed, black, cancerous nostalgia flooding me. “The good old days.” We then lapsed into a comfortable silence. After savagely stripping the meat from a chicken bone, Henry wandered off to treat himself to a cold dessert. I finished the last of my fries and polished off the chocolate milk, my burning mouth greedily absorbing the cool liquid. After a return trip to the machine, meeting once again the boy who had been diligently studying for his buffet safety PhD (he wasn’t quiet as conscientious when it came to Coca-Cola), I placed myself in my seat and awaited Henry. He soon returned empty-handed. “They all sucked,” he declared. I did not reply, but suddenly realized that the ice cream machine was next to the soda and chocolate milk fountains. Suddenly, from across the room, there came a loud racket, drawling the puzzled stares of patrons in the gulf between walls. From a door came a line of people dressed in red shirts and black pants. The person at the head of the rank, a rather fetching teen goth with long midnight hair and a generous bosom, held something in her hands, something aflame, for her strong angler face was awash in orange. The Ryan’s troops behind her were clapping. With mortification I saw them making a B-line toward our table like a personified children’s show choo-choo. Now all of the bemused eaters were looking toward me and Henry. “You bastard,” I said, turning to Henry. He was smiling and clapping flourishingly. I broke out in my own grin, my cheeks afire. “Oh you son of a bitch; real funny.” The Ryan’s Birthday Army now surrounded my half of the booth, leering over me like grinning psychos and clapping madly. I hung my head in embarrassment as they sat a flaming birthday cake on the table before me. “Bastard,” I muttered, lowering my head, realizing that now all of the other patrons too were looking at me and clapping. Then the singing started. I could just imagine Henry going up to our hostess and stage whispering across the counter, his hand shielding his mouth from prying lip readers, Pissst; it’s his birthday, pointing in my direction. Bastard. *** Coming out of the Ryan’s parking lot nearly half an hour later, I took a right on the rain swept street and followed it back to town past several large comfortable southern homes boasting screened in front porches and spotlighted flags. Most of these were protected from the street by rusted chin link fences. We were silent and content, our stomachs full. Finally desirous of breaking the silence, but too stuffed with food and lazy to speak, I switched on the radio, picking up a station from southern Maryland. After a “local” newscast about a New York mobster choking to death in a King George pizza joint and the discovery of a well-known radical poet shot dead in a D.C. parking garage, Cyndi Lauper came on with Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. “Your song,” Henry croaked from the passenger seat. I changed the station. The Culture Club was singing about a Church of the Poisoned Mind. “Damn, must be your night,” Henry snickered from the darkness. “Shut up,” I replied, hitting the scan button; the radio settled for a station playing a Seether song. Henry laughed. “I meant you like eighties music. I wasn’t trying to say you’re gay…not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Pulling to the end of Henry’s street, I noticed that we had left none of the lights on when we departed; the thought of waltzing through the door into the pitch black slightly uneased me. I thought of asking Henry to stay with me at the Marriot in Richmond rather than me staying with him, but quickly decided against it; we’d be safe in the parlor. Putting down my own childish reluctance, I parked the car at the curb and killed the engine, shutting Kanye West off in mid-rant. We entered the house and immediately repaired to the parlor, where Henry took care of stoking a warm fire into existence. That done, he came back to his chair and sank with a pleasured sigh. “So, you gonna write about this?” To be honest, the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. “Maybe,” I said. Of course I would. Would it make it into my next book? It had a better chance than some of the other cases I had. People love their supernatural when it’s really weird. “Well…” Henry said, but was interrupted by a terrible crash from overhead, which shook the house and caused us to jerk in surprised fear. “There it is,” he shivered. Another long bang sounded upstairs, as if something had thumped to the floor. I swallowed around a lump in my throat, and opened my mouth, but was forestalled by another loud crash, this one followed by a stomach-piercing moan. “Maybe we should go,” I stammered, a sudden bubble of stark fear overwhelming my cool rationality. Henry licked his lips and swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. I looked appraisingly up at the smooth ceiling above my head, partly hidden by the gloom. There was another thump that stopped my heart and froze my blood. A shower of fine plaster rained down upon me like hard snow, and I quickly averted my eyes to avoid it. “Henry?” I panted breathlessly, wrestling with my own galloping fear. “Fuck this,” Henry affirmed and moved to stand, “let’s…” Henry had been whispering, as if worried about disturbing his inconsiderate guest, so I was able to hear the soft, terrible footfall. It was as if an electric shock ran through me, reducing my bones to jelly. I heard it again, louder this time. Henry’s eyes were wide. “Was that…?” he whispered superstitiously. I gulped and nodded. “It sounded like it… From the dark upstairs hall there came a soft, fugitive creak. Henry was now fully standing, his wiry body tense and rigid. “Hennnryyyyyy!” drifted a thin and ghostly greeting. “Jesus Christ!” I exclaimed, and bolted to my feet. I turned to the dark threshold into the rest of the hostile house, and saw nothing but playing shadows. “Hennnryyyy, baaaabyyyyyyy!” I spun on my heels. “We have to get the hell out of here!” I whispered incoherently, my mind reeling. There was no hope of using the front door. We would have to pass the stairs… Henry stood slack in place, his eyes wide and seeming to vibrate with terror. There was a more confident footfall from halfway down the staircase, and a definite swish like that of a passing priest’s cassock. “Come on!” I screamed, my fear boiling over. I desperately regarded the window beyond Henry’s chair. It appeared wide enough for both of us to escape side-by-side. I grabbed Henry’s wrist, but pulling him was like trying to move a wooden post set deeply in the ground. “Come on, we gotta go, NOW!!” I screamed franticly, hearing the loud moan of the last step. Henry shook his head as if shaking away a dream and looked at me with frightened, pleading eyes. But before a word could pass between us he turned back to the threshold. And screamed. Hearing the horrible, damned-soul quality of his voice broke my resolve and nearly my mind. It was the high-pitched shriek of a child on finally seeing the thing under its bed and finding it far worse than imagined; it was the scream of a sinner being shown into his new abode in hell; it was the pitiful cry of a madman. Fueled by mindless animal terror, I sprang for the window. Forearms thrown protectively over my face, I crashed through with a cry, and sailed into the damp night in a shower of broken glass, my stomach throbbing in my throat. I hit the grassy ground with an umph and staggered to my feet, my knees watery and quivering. Behind me, the laughter of madness turned into the orgasm of agony.
2020.08.27 20:02 grayperegrineIntro for u/grayperegrine
Hi y'all, I'm so happy we are up and running again. I am u/grayperegrine and I'm a gay trans man from the US - Pennsylvania, to be precise. I am still really fuzzy on this binary man/non binary man thing, but I am gender nonconforming. I hope that doesn't muddy the water too much. I realized I was trans at 18 when I learned that trans was a thing that some people are, because I had a fairly religious, conservative upbringing with very little exposure to LGBT people. I didn't start transitioning until I was 26 meaning... wow 8 years, my friends. I'm post top surgery and I have had a hysterectomy for reasons not related to transitioning. I also lost my husband in 2017, so you might hear me talk about my late husband a lot. Feel free to ask me questions or just say hi. Again, I am just so happy this space is back again.
2020.08.27 09:39 HauntedSpySKs you never might've heard of: The USA
Greetings. For a long while now, I've been compiling and continue to compile a long list of SKs (convicted and suspected) across the world, which have yet to receive an article on Wikipedia. I haven't run a countdown, but I do believe it might count in the triple digits by now. Anyway, today I decided to share one individual SK for each US state and territory, with a little information and a linked article/source to their crimes. I hope you find this information as fascinating as I do. Let us begin. ALABAMA:Curtis Grantham(1988; 3 victims) Murdered two women in Phenix City, burying them in a wooded area in Seale. Later confessed to the October murder of 32-year-old Dawn Ball, previously thought to be a victim of Christopher Wilder. Sentenced to life imprisonment. ALASKA:Gary Zieger(1971-1973; 6+ victims) Doubling as a member of a motorcycle gang who was paid to kill people, Zieger is also thought to be responsible for murdering at least three female hitchhikers around Anchorage. The true extents of his crimes remains unclear, and he himself was murdered along the Seward Highway in 1973. AMERICAN SAMOA: None to my knowledgeARIZONA:Michael Carlson(2003-2009; 3-9 victims) Shot dead his sister in Tucson in 2003, and later murdered a couple in Marana. Confessed to 9 murders in total, but his other victims, if there are any, haven't been found. Sentenced to death. ARKANSAS:Randy Gay(1978-2011; 3 victims) Murdered his father-in-law in 1978, served time and released. Murdered his father in 1991, released again. And finally, murdered a woman and dumped her body at Ouachita National Forest in 2011. Sentenced to death. CALIFORNIA:Pittsburg serial killer(1998-1999; 4 victims) Within a two-month period, four young women were killed in this little, tightly-knit community. It is believed that it's a work of a serial offender, and the Pittsburg police are searching for clues to catch him. Unidentified. COLORADO:Ronald Lee White(1987-1988; 3-16 victims) Murdered roommate and two other men in disputes/robberies, mostly surrounding Pueblo. Later confessed that he has killed 16 victims in total. Authorities believe that at least four cold cases around the state could be tied to him. Sentenced to life imprisonment. CONNECTICUT:Zackery Cody Franklin(2007-2011; 4 victims) Murdered four men around New Haven for mostly robbery purposes. Originally convicted for two homicides, later connected to the other two. Sentenced to life imprisonment. D.C.:Greg Brice(1994-1996; 4 victims) Shot two men in two separate instances for personal disputes. Escaped confinement in December 1995, and a few months later, murdered two men. Recaptured, and sentenced to long imprisonment terms. DELAWARE:James Gordy(unknown-1897; 1-4 victims) Battered his wife to death with an oar in 1897; suspected in the suspicious deaths of his father, ex-wife and their child. Executed in Georgetown in 1897. FLORIDA:Leon Holston(1964-1966; 4 victims) Murdered four young boys in Pompano Beach, while he himself was still a teenager. Sentenced to death, commuted to life imprisonment. GEORGIA:John Robinson(unknown-1901; 1-6 victims) Known as "The Colored Ripper", he was executed for the strangulation murder of a young black woman in Laurens County, whose body he viciously mutilated after. Five other similar murders were suspected to be his doing, but never proven. Executed in Dublin in 1902. GUAM: None to my knowledgeHAWAII:Robert Mark Edwards(1986-1994; 2+ victims) Convicted of raping, robbing and murdering two female realtors, one in Los Alamitos, CA, and the other in Kihei, HI. The gap between his crimes, and their severity, leads me to believe he might have other victims, likely in California. Sentenced to death in California and life imprisonment in Hawaii. IDAHO:Gerald Pizzuto(1985; 4 victims) Murdered a woman and a man in Seattle, WA during robberies. Later moved to Boise, ID, where he murdered a couple in a remote cabin. Sentenced to death in Idaho. ILLINOIS:Michael A. Johnson, Jr.(2008-2010; 4 victims) Rapist who abused and murderd young women in Chicago. It's peculiar to note that he strangled them with a deformed right hand, which was missing three fingers. Sentenced to life imprisonment. INDIANA:Anna Cunningham(1918-1922; 5 victims) Poisoned her family members with arsenic in Gary. Sentenced to life imprisonment for one murder, but later paroled for unspecified reasons. Died a free woman in 1945. IOWA:Donald Piper(1993-1998; 2-4 victims) Hotel maintenance chief who stabbed and strangled two women in Des Moines, and is suspected of another two similar killings during that time period. Sentenced to life imprisonment. KANSAS:Mary Troy(1909; 3+ victims) Murdered at least three children in Topeka, all of whom were entrusted in her care. Possibly responsible for half a dozen similar deaths. Fate unknown. KENTUCKY:Michael Abner(1983-2010; 3 victims) Following his arrest for the stabbing death of an elderly man in Pulaski County, he confessed to two cold cases involving strangulation of old women, in 1983 and 1988. Sentenced to life imprisonment. LOUISIANA:Edward Augustine(2007-2011; 3 victims) Involved in a fatal car crash while driving a stolen vehicle in New Orleans, charges dismissed. Later, he and another man killed two men in Jefferson Parish. Rearrested and serving a 40-year prison term. MAINE:Constance Fisher(1954-1966; 6 victims) Mentally-ill woman who drowned six children, three each on two separate occassions, in Waterville. Confined to a mental hospital, but managed to escape and later drowned herself in the Kennebec River in 1973. MARYLAND:Patrick McCullough(1980-2001; 3 victims) Deaf man who murdered two employers (1980 and 1982) in Annapolis, and later his girlfriend in Waldorf (2001). After killing her, he shot himself through the head. MASSACHUSETTS:John Monteiro(2007-2010; 3 victims) Rhode Island man who murdered a man in Brockton in July 2007, and later shot a brother and sister to death. Sentenced to life imprisonment. MICHIGAN:Paul Harrington(1975-1999; 5 victims) Former Detroit police officer who shot his ex-wife and two children in 1975; sent to mental institution and released after two years. After living a relatively peaceful life for many years, he was fired from his job and stopped taking his medication, leading to him killing his new wife and son in 1999. Sentenced to life imprisonment. MINNESOTA:David Torgerson(1969-1973; 6+ victims) Murdered two Minneapolis women in 1969 on separate occassions, and later on, his wife, two children and the babysitter in Rochester. Suspected of more murders since the 1950s. Hanged himself before trial for killing his family. MISSISSIPPI:Columbus elderly murderer(1996-1998; 4-5 victims) In two years, five elderly people were murdered in Columbus. Three years ago, DNA evidence snatched a man named David Solomon Murray, from Pine Bluff, AR, as the killer of one of the victims, but we're yet to see if he's responsible for the others. Unresolved case. MISSOURI:John Wesley Robinson(1896-1913; 3 victims) Strangled a woman in St. Louis and later buried her corpse under the floorboards. Arrested, served 11 years and released. In 1913, he murdered his wife (April 11th) and his stepdaughter (May 17th), dismembering each body and burning the remains in the stove or burying them. Executed in Kansas City in 1915. MONTANA:Ah Yung(unknown-1883; 1-17) Chinese immigrant who murdered a paymaster in Missoula. Authorities suspected he killed a total of seventeen people (two white men and fifteen Chinese), but not much information is available about them. Executed in Missoula in 1883. NEBRASKA:Clarence Victor(1964-1988; 3 victims) Mentally-disabled man who murdered an elderly woman in her Omaha home. Had previous convictions for manslaughter and murder, in 1964 and 1976, respectively. Died in prison. NEVADA:Norman Flowers(2005; 3 victims) Las Vegas rapist who killed the daughter of a former girlfriend in March. Two months later, in the span of eight hours, he raped and strangled two women with a telephone cord. Sentenced to life imprisonment. NEW HAMPSHIRE:Craig Conkey(1991-1994; 3 victims) Killed two women in Lexington, MA, in 1992 and 1994. In 2012, admitted to fatally stabbing a New Hampshire university employee in 1991. Sentenced to life imprisonment. NEW JERSEY:Shiquan Bellamy(2010; 5 victims) Between February and April, murdered three men and a couple in Jersey City during robberies and an attempted carjacking. Sentenced to life imprisonment. NEW MEXICO:Clifton Bloomfield(2005-2008; 5 victims) Murdered five people around the state, including a couple. In 2018, he was aided in a prison escape by a guard, but was recaptured. Sentenced to life imprisonment. NEW YORK:Dmitriy Yakovlev(2003-2007; 3 victims) Russian immigrant who, together with his wife, killed three other Russian emigrants in Brooklyn so he could steal their possessions and bank cards, which he later sold off. Sentenced to life imprisonment. NORTH CAROLINA:Herman Allen(1930-1942; 4 victims) First murdered a boarder in his Johnston County home because he believed he was having an affair with his wife. Convicted of manslaughter and released 11 years later, still believing that people were oogling after his wife, he shot to death his wife, brother-in-law and a man he believed to have been courting her. Executed in 1942. NORTH DAKOTA:Floyd Tapson(1987-1996; 0-3+ victims) Suspected, but not convicted, in killing disabled women at group homes, two in MN (Moorhead and Wadena) and one in Grand Forks. Possibly responsible for similar murders in Baltimore, MD. Sentenced to 75 years for kidnapping in Montana. NORTHERN MARIANA ISLANDS: None to my knowledgeOHIO:Oliver Crook Haugh(1890s-1905; 3-5+ victims) Doctor who murdered his parents and brother in Dayton, and was tied to at least two further murders of concubines in Lorraine and Chicago, IL. Many patients of his, spanning across multiple states dating back to 1890s, died in mysterious circumstances as well. He was also a childhood bully to none other than Wilbur Wright, of the Wright Brothers fame. Executed in 1907. OKLAHOMA:Wayne Garrison(1972-1989; 3 victims) Vicious killer of two toddlers (1972 and 1974) and a 13-year-old Tulsa boy in 1989, whose dismembered remains were found in a lake. His 1970s killings were done while he was still a child. Sentenced to death. OREGON:William Perry Jackson(1980s; 5+ victims) Murdered and robbed people around Portland, sometimes with accomplices. Escaped prison with a convicted bank robber, but later recaptured. Suspect in as many as 30 murders in Oregon and Washington State. Sentenced to life imprisonment. PENNSYLVANIA:Jermaine Burgess(2008: 2+ victims) Career criminal who robbed and murdered two elderly women in Ridley Township and Upper Darby (October 27th and November 10th, respectively). Authorities believe he has committed other murders as well. Sentenced to life imprisonment. PUERTO RICO:Ángel Colón Maldonado(1985-1987; 27 victims) Known as "The Angel of the Bachelors", he lured men for sexual favors, and after he was given various luxurious items, he killed his lovers. Fled to the continental states, but was quickly recaptured. Sentenced to life imprisonment. RHODE ISLAND:Jeffrey Mailhot(2003-2004; 3 victims) Known as "The Rhode Island Ripper", he strangled and then dismembered three prostitutes in his hometown of Woonsocket. Sentenced to life imprisonment. SOUTH CAROLINA:Joseph Ernest Atkins(1969-1986; 3 victims) Shot his brother in North Charleston in 1969. Sentenced to life imprisonment, but his father pleaded for his release, and he was paroled in 1980. Six years later, as an act of gratitude, he shot his father and a 13-year-old neighbor on October 27, 1986. Executed in 1999. SOUTH DAKOTA:Rapid City Creek Drownings(1998-2000; 0-11+ victims) Suspicious deaths of homeless men in Rapid City, six of whom were Native Americans. They stopped just as mysteriously as they began, and authorities believe that they were possibly murdered by a serial offender who might've moved away, presumably to Denver, CO. Unsolved. TENNESSEE:Michael Mullins(1999-2012; 3+ victims) Career criminal and serial rapist who beat and strangled elderly women in Memphis. Strong possibility of additional murders and assaults committed by him. Sentenced to life imprisonment. TEXAS:Tommy Lee Stewart(1971-1986; 3 victims) Abducted and killed a woman in Waco in 1971. Released from prison in 1986 and moved to Port Arthur, where he later murdered a mother and child. Sentenced to life imprisonment. U.S. Virgin Islands:St. Croix Voodoo Poisonings(1984-1988; 5 victims) Five people were poisoned in St. Croix with cyanide, in what appears to be ritualistic slayings. Police suspect a conman, posing as an 'obeah man' (a type of shaman), to be behind the murders. Unsolved. UTAH:Thomas Noffsinger(1989-1990; 3 victims) Strangled and raped two women two months apart in Millcreek and Sandy, and later stabbed a Salt Lake City chef to death in 1990. Sentenced to life imprisonment. VERMONT:Gary Lee Schaefer(1979-1983; 3+ victims) Springfield automechanic who raped and strangled three girls in his hometown. At one time suspected to be responsible for other murders, but this hasn't been proven so far. Sentenced to life imprisonment. VIRGINIA:Walter Cotton and Brandt O'Grady(1898-1900; in the dozens, couldn't determine exact number) An unlikely pair considering the time period (black man and Irish immigrant) who robbed and murdered people around the state, mostly around Emporia. Both were lynched at Greensville by an angry mob in 1900. WASHINGTON:Donna Perry(1990; 3 victims) Known as "The .22 Caliber Killer", who killed three prostitutes in Seattle between February and March 1990. Interestingly, Perry is one of the few known transsexual SKs on record, committing the murders when she still identified as a man. Sentenced to life imprisonment. WEST VIRGINIA:Joseph Eisele(1867; 3 victims) German/Swiss immigrant known as 'The Parkersburg Murderer' who murdered three fellow immigrants for robbery purposes across the state between June and December. Interestingly, another self-confessed SK, Thomas D. Carr, admitted to being his accomplice in one murder, but this was unsubstantiated. Executed in Parkersburg in 1868. WISCONSIN:Alvin Taylor(1985-1988; 4 victims) Nightclub singer who murdered three men in Dunn and Eau Claire Counties, as well as one in the state of Minnesota. Sentenced to psychiatric treatment. WYOMING:Rawlins Rodeo Murders(1974; 4 victims) Over the summer, four young girls disappeared from rodeos in the small town of Rawlins. Only one body was found nine years later in Sinclair, while the others remain missing and are presumed dead. Royal Russell Long, a convicted kidnapper additionally suspected of killing two Oklahoma girls in the 1980s, is the prime suspect, although some theorize Ted Bundy might've been involved. Unsolved.
2020.08.27 00:47 ArthurDentonWelchWhat do you think of these lyrics? How do they make you feel?
Strike up the music the band has begun The Pennsylvania Polka Pick out your partner and join in the fun The Pennsylvania Polka It started in Scranton. It's now number one It's bound to entertain ya Everybody has a mania to do the polka from Pennsylvania While they're dancing Everybody's cares are quickly gone Sweet romancing This goes on and on until the dawn. They're so carefree Gay with laughter, happy as can be They stop to have a beer Then the crowd begins to cheer They kiss and then they start to dance again.
2020.08.26 02:23 Disastrous-Dentist-6Unsure what to do about an openly hateful work environment (with a twist) [PA USA]
I (29M) work at a decently sized (~5,000 employees) engineering company in Pennsylvania and about a year ago, I transferred to a new department within that company. It didn't take long for me to realize many people in the department are huge bigots and it's a very hostile work environment. For example: -The technicians I work with regularly say blatantly hateful things such as using the n-word, f*ggot, talking disparagingly about transgender people and the BLM movement, stuff like that. -Their boss isn't openly hateful, but he engages in his own forms of bullying like coming up with inappropriate nicknames and farting in peoples' faces. He's the type who routinely goes on rants and ends them by saying something like "I should shut up or HR will be after me." -My boss is friends with the technicians' boss, and he's friends with many of the technicians as well. He's only made a few borderline inappropriate comments here and there, but I wouldn't trust him to do the right thing if I went to him with concerns about the things I hear and witness. -His boss, who is also the boss of the technicians' boss, similarly gives me the impression that he wouldn't do much to fix the situation. He himself has made multiple disparaging comments about millennials and passed judgement about someone's sexuality. Soon after I started in the new department, I began documenting the particularly egregious things I witnessed, including details such as who said what to whom, and when. Our HR department takes workplace harassment/bullying/discrimination VERY seriously and I believe if I were to go to them with my evidence, it would not end well for lots of the people I work with. However if I were to do that I would be afraid of retaliation from some of the others in the department since it's a pretty tight-knit group and it wouldn't take long for them to figure out who got them all in trouble. Now for the plot twist... I'm gay. No one in my current department knows this but I'm good friends with many of the people in my old department and several of them have even met my boyfriend. I don't think any of them would maliciously out me to my new group, but it wouldn't surprise me if word of my sexuality eventually reached my new group. If that were to happen, I'm almost positive it would negatively impact my ability to productively work there. In conclusion, I feel like an outsider and my only two options seem to be put up with the bigotry and hope it doesn't eventually come my way, or notify HR and live with the fallout of the mess that creates. My question is, what can I do to protect myself from any potential harassment that could come my way if eitheboth of those situations come true? I have a very specialized degree and there are very few other places for me to work in my town with that degree, so finding a new job isn't that easy. If I were to leave because of the hostile environment, would I have any sort of case to claim lost wages?
[tl;dr: gay girl who likes video games, art, and animals looking for an eventual gf] Hi! I'm Erica (or Erika, I don't care) and I'm 22 and never been in a relationship before. I'm seriously so done with being lonely. Would like to meet a nice girl in the area (NY, NJ, PA, MD, DE, east coast USA, you get it) but online and from US/Canada is okay for now. I am 5'0 and chubby but I'm working on that, lol. I have shoulder-length brown hair and brown eyes. pics I am heavily into video games and animals, specifically my birds and cats. I also cosplay, read a lot, and do different kinds of art sometimes. I mostly play single player games on my PS4, Switch, and sometimes PC. I like story driven games like Horizon Zero Dawn, Bioshock, Witcher 3, Portal, Dishonored, et cetera. Some other games I enjoy are Planet Zoo, random indie switch games, Animal Crossing, Paper Mario, Minecraft, & more. These past few days I've been playing Fall Guys on PS4 and it's pretty great. I have 2 cockatiels, 1 crested gecko, 1 giant day gecko, 2 cats, and a 29 gallon aquarium! I love taking care of animals!!! If you don't like birds & cats & can't at least tolerate reptiles, we probably won't get along. Feel free to ask for pics! I am currently a part time student at my community college and don't work due to my illnesses. I have a car and can drive but not too far because of my joint issues. I will not meet anyone in person any time soon since I am at a high risk of dying from covid if I get it. I am looking for a girl who can understand and tolerate all my medical problems, as I have a lot and they are a big part of my life. I am very bad at flirting because I literally have 0 experience, so please be patient with me haha discord erika#5816
Once upon a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a not-so-big lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between Belmont and Rose which are both Gay-ass Streets Like North street or some shit that reminds me of a celebrity like Paris Hilton or some blonde loser that doesn't even know the capital of her own country, which is the United States of America aka: The U.S.A which is a pristine nation of beauty, opposing to a country as the country of Somalia and Belgium, a part of Europe, which doesn't even have a government, it's just in a complete state of anarchy just like my mind and soul which are both filled with outrageous nonsense that I'm typing down right now into some fat long sentence that probably makes no sense but who cares I'm trying to set some sort of weird record here like most ducks snorted or some weird thing like that and if I do set some sort of record I will be in the Guinness Book of World Records (though anti-American and pro-European, a place of pitty and despair as Somalia is) which was always my dream because that book has a whole bunch a cool and weird stuff in it and I would Become famous and add to the weirdness of the book like some of their records which reminds me of the Rob & Big where Rob sets all of those skateboarding Records And Big Black eats bananas and donuts and three weeks later they both get plaques saying the record they set and I want to get one of those so that's why I'm writing all of this stuff down without ever using a period or some other sentence ending mark like an exclamation point or a question mark or any other symbol that could possibly end my streak of words that is really long now and would take me a while to count just like counting sheep which is supposed to put you to sleep but it really keeps you awake because you want to keep counting and counting until you don't know what comes after trillions, but that would take Years or something because it would take a while just to count a trillion seconds or minutes would be even worse just like how ducks are worse that geese because they are more aggressive around their young unlike great white sharks which are often eaten by their mothers when they are born and the ones who do make it out alive have no mother to teach them how to hunt or whatever because none of that matters because us human beings have mothers unless they die or run off with some CEO of a big company or someone else who makes a lot of money and then they leave you with your dad and you are jealous of your friends if you have any because they have moms and you don't because your mom was some greedy pig who wanted money but ended up only getting the money part and she bought drugs because she was depressed and ended up killing herself from an overdose and you wouldn't even know about it until you become some rich person and check the files somewhere and learn that she died of a overdose and you eyes get all teary and then you start crying because you know that you wouldn't be alive without that woman you called mom and I just found out right now that the longest sentence is like 10,000 words so I have a ways to go and you have to go with me so let's go to 6th gear and throw out some words like Emphysema which I had to do a report on in 4th grade because we had a ton of projects and this was the disease one and we chose diseases out of a hat and I came out with Emphysema which is a form of lung cancer which is 98% caused by smoking which reminds me of the way my dad describes smoking: "you get plant leaves, wrap them in paper, light it on fire and suck on it" which is normally a sentence but not today because I'm setting out on the quest for a long sentence that I'm typing up which reminds me of a story my grandpa told me about himself when he was "your age" about how they covered the letters on the type writers and they had to type so that they could memorize where the letters are on a type writer and my grandpa says he will never regret taking that class because it helped him out a lot when it came to typing and now a days he is not bad a typing at all because He is almost as fast as me because I am a pretty fast typer and writing this article isn't taking very long and expect being pretty far pretty soon at the pace I'm going right now so there are going to be some serious records getting busted when I'm finally finished writing this article on this dumb website which will probably end up huffing this article even though it is fun-packed and joyful and keeps the reader reading when they use that excuse to mom saying "just one more sentence" but that sentence is 10,000 words long and still continuing to go at a reasonable pace and it is going to shatter most of those long sentence records just like how the chargers are going to shatter the most consecutive years without a super bowl win record and I doubt that they will win one in the near future but they patriots are going to win some serious super bowls because they are the best team ever even better than the cowboys or 49ers and no one cares a bout them so go patriots and boo chargers even though I live in San Diego and Like the Padres I hate the Chargers because they are bad and the padres are bad too but I don't care because they are my favorite team and the dodgers are my least favorite along with the Yankees because the Yankees get a lot of money to spend and the padres and marlins get almost nothing and then the Yankees buy a-rod for a lot and the Rays get almost no money but are still fighting for first place this season without expensive players like Derek jeter or a-rod or johnny damon or whoever because they are an all around better team that can beat the Yankees even though the Yankees can beat the royals a lot who really suck because they suck more that the padres do and so do the mariners and Rockies even thought the Rockies went to the world series last year they lost and haven't stopped losing for a while now, either and they are last place in the nl west and that is where the padres used to be but they started hitting homeruns and winning games and are dong pretty good right now despite having little offense except for Adrian Gonzalez who is leading the NL in RBI's even though he is on the team who scores the least runs in the league but they are not last in homeruns though they are like 5 away or something but I’m not sure so screw that and let's talk about something fun like water or food or dirt or something but I think food is the best because their is a lot of things to talk about with food like you r favorite food which mine happens to be some spicy burrito form Chipotle mexican grill and it is very good just like this macaroni my mom made one time that had bread crumbs on top and it was very good like all of the food they serve on top chef which I wish I could be a judge for because they have a lot of good food on that show and it makes my mouth water whenever I watch it and that is why I watch it because the food is totally awesome and sometimes I hate the people but they end up getting eliminated like the Dance crews in France's Best Dance Crew which is a great show and you should watch it because people do good dancing like the JFrabbawockeez because they won the first season and they are very good just like supreme soul and So real crew and phresh select and super cr3w and I’m only at 1500 words right now so I have to write some serious stuff like a life biography about myself and anything I’ve ever done which includes going to big bear to ski, fishing, breathing, swimming, going, farting, eating, sleeping and a whole lot more stuff which reminds me of 4th grade again when my teacher was debating with the class whether "a lot" was one or two words and all of the kids including myself said one while the teacher said two and he was right and we were wrong but no one cared because we all had fun arguing about and I have fun arguing with my friends about football and not baseball because in baseball we all like the same team but in football I like the patriots and my friends like the chargers and the 49ers and the eagles and the saints but my team always woops their team's ass and they say that the patriots "cheat" and that's how they won even though the patriots just pwned their team and they suck and my team is good but we all agree when it comes to baseball because we all like the padres and we never really argue over anything in baseball which is my favorite sport and I play it and I am good a it and I want it to be my profession but I doubt that that will happen so my backup plan is being a cop because you get all of the benefits and you get paid after you retire which is good news and I would also like to be some government dude or something like that because they get the benefits too so it would be cool to work for the government which reminds me that my principal worked at the white house and taught the president email because he was the computer guy or something like that so h knows a whole bunch of computer crap like my dad and he is fat too so everyone makes fun of him and I think he huffs kittens too but I am not sure and about that and what the hell is up with all the n00b and kitten huffing on this gay ass website like all of the things like "the writer may have been huffing kittens" and stuff like that it really annoys the hell out of me just like other things such as when people clip their finger nails it makes that weird noise that get me all crazy and I hate it just like how me friend hates the sound of chalk on a chalkboard which I find soothing and relaxing but he gets really annoyed and psyched out and he is also very pale-skinned and so is the rest of his family so it must have been some genetic thing like twins and clones and whole bunch of other confusing science crap that I learned a long time ago in 7th grade or something which was when we watched movies in class like UHF which has weird al in it and it is very funny because weird al has to save a TV station with a whole bunch of weird shows like wheel of fish and rauls wild kingdom with a whole bunch of cool animals like flamingos and turtles and stuff like that but who cares lets get to the meaty part of this article which is the part where I write the longest word known to man which is Methionylthreonylthreonyl...isoleucine which is cut out because it has 189,819 words so wikipedia had to cut out the middle part and the longest word is the name of a protein which is the largest known to man to so big names go to big things is apparently the moral of this story ladies and gentleman the road doesn't stop here and I have to continue no matter what you say or think so I should just write some story now that has no periods so lets start with a guy named Carl who liked fish and women and he went to Clara’s house and they had a good food but that isn't enough of a story to set the record so I think I’ll just stick to writing random crap which really makes no sense at all and here is some random picture that shows a guy who has two legs and another guy who has three who is mocking the guy with two legs because he rips his flesh in disgust every night and you think about who would be dumb enough to rip their flesh instead of cut the ring off or something that doesn't involve entirely gruesome crap like that and I have another life after this one just like how cats have 9 lives I have three because I’m on my second one right now and it is great and you might think I’m a whole new person but you are thinking wrong it's just when I died I came back t life and next time I die I’ll come back to life again and then when I die I’ll be dead for sure which reminds me of Stephen king's book called pet sematary which is coo because people come back to life because there was a burial ground that bring people back to life if they are dead and that book is a great book and you should read it along with the Harry Potter series which has magic in it and it is cool too so don't shank yourself when you are cutting that meat for dinner or you might die of massive blood loss or might just need a band aid I mean that works too or you don't even need a band aid because I don't use them and I have never gotten and infection in my life so maybe I’m lucky or have an alligator immune system or something but I don't use band aids and I don't use Neosporin on my cuts so I’m some sort of miracle I guess but I’m wasting twenty minutes of my miracle life on this retard article that I just want the Guinness book of world records to see and go that is the longest thing ever and have me in their book so I’m striving towards that goal right now and I’m not stopping until I hit at least 3000 words and then I’ll do the construction thing and finish thing up tomorrow or sometime after now and I will be the author of the longest single sentence on the planet earth which will be a real accomplishment on my part so you can be real jealous right now because I am making history right in front of you and if you are still reading this I am truly impressed because this article must be getting really boring by now and maybe your not even reading this just scanning the article for periods which I’m afraid you will not find until the very end of this article which is a very, very, long way away and if you are a slow reader well sucks for you but now I have to use that construction thing and I will finish this and now I am back after a hard day at work but I’m still going now so get ready to rumble with this long thing called a sentence that is as long as Mt. Everest is tall and the Marinas Trench is deep and speaking of the ocean fish of all kinds live in the ocean such as puffer fish which are poisonous to eat if not prepared right and will make you die after and you ADMINS BETTER NOT DELETE THIS BECAUSE IT IS SOME RECORD and if you do delete it well I will have this saved and what will you do then you people who will want to delete this because you don't care about people trying to break records so don't delete this or I will boycott Uncyclopedia and will be very mad at you guys like how I am Mad at Tim for being so annoying just like Celebrities and loud people and people who don't brush their teeth which makes me think of killing myself except I wouldn't do that because I am some sort of miracle as you probably read before or not because you are tired of reading this jumble of words that are still making a grammatically correct sentence that is breaking records right now and I won't stop until you let me break some serious records like longest sentence and some other weird stuff that I might get an award for or something but I also want that Guinness record plaque that you get for setting a monster record like most consecutive noses picked with boogers in them or something completely obscure like that which is like a bunch of the articles on this website which are actually some times funny like how to solve a 1x1x1 Rubik’s cube which made me laugh pretty good and the star wars one is good too so never delete those two because they are funny unlike this article because this article is more boring than funny but who cares some retard might laugh at this bundle of crap and I think that I will put that crap tag on this article so people know that this article isn't really funny but that it is long and boring like Dances with Wolves and some other long movies that you actually fall asleep during which is hard for me to do so I tend not to nut I did when I watched Dances with Wolves because it was really boring like counting sheep to a trillion or some other large number that some little kid says he wishes he had that many dollars but he will never get that many dollars because there isn't even that many in circulation right now and if there was that would be some major inflation right there so don't think you can get that much money kid because then you would not be doing this country a favor which it desperately needs I might add so instead burn money instead of make it and lower inflation rates and do everyone a favor except for the people who are already really rich and don't care about inflation and would rather drive an escalade instead of a Prius in times like this with all of the gas prices and stuff that would drive up your bill but they don't notice because they have a lot of money and don't care therefore they should die and burn in hell with all of the lawyers and other bad people on this ball we call earth that really isn't a perfect sphere because of the mountains and valleys makes it look all jagged but from space it looks like a sphere but looks may be deceiving so don't think that the world is a sphere no matter what other people say and tell them to eat themselves when they try to convince you that the earth is really a sphere but it isn't just like how most ignorant people think that Columbus found America but he really didn't that was Leif Erickson, but Columbus really found the Bahamas thinking they were penis outside of china and he was wrong so everyone forget Columbus and remember some other sailor like Henry Hudson who tried to find the northern passage but didn't so his crew killed him but a he was a great man any way so remember him instead of Columbus or remember William Penn who created Pennsylvania or remember your grandma or someone but not Columbus so go ahead and think that the earth is flat even though it isn't and it can have for corners if you think about it so go die and fall off a cliff or something interesting like that or at least get a life that want’ to penis e a cool record like the one I'm setting right now so go to a pawnshop and buy a life or kill yourself and get a new one or something weird like that or I will force you to and if you are still reading this you are an amazing human because I forget most of the stuff I’ve written already except for the great white shark thing at the beginning of the article and I remember that I need to go see some good movies tomorrow or sometime in the near future like within a week or something but forget that I'm only at 3500 words now so lets go to 4000 penis and then maybe I’ll call it quits because this is boring and I would rather write another article that is good and long but not all one sentence like this one so let's come up with some final five hundred words or so to say before I stop writing all of the nonsense so let's brainstorm ideas like poo, ducks, lemons, flanges, more ducks and star wars which sound about like enough and I like star wars out of there so let's talk about some penis star wars stuff like Kit Fisto who has weird tentacle things on his head and Ki-Adi-Mundi who has two brains and is on the Jedi which is penis honor and privilege because it is and Kit Fisto gets killed by Palpatine in the 3rd movie like Mace Windu who is cool and I like his light saber because it is purple unlike the standard blue and green colors which I prefer green out of but most people seem to like the blue colors but who cares about them they like blue and green is better so you better not like blue or you are some lame person that will be lame for the rest of your life like some people who think that they are cool but are really posers and they live their life not knowing that they are continually mocked and made fun of all of the time behind their backs and that they are really dumb or something so go out and tell all of the posers you know to not be posers anymore and tell them that they should go jump in a lake or something insulting like that and make them run and cry and you can laugh at them and hope they don't tell their mom who will be mad at you so maybe you shouldn't even do that you should just laugh at them behind their backs while they live the poser life and I'm near 4000 words now so let me slow down now yeah I have about a hundred words left so let me write down the exact amount before I stop writing so let me finish this thing up by talking about donuts and their fried goodness and how they make you fat and stuff but they do taste good so you should eat them because they are good and they taste good even though you could get fat but no one cares so eat them and be happy and I am starting to near 4000 now so just be a bit patient and this has been fun guys so let me finish right about, where you should wait for it, and wait, 'till right about, where we are almost there, having just two more for that you should wait, while this actually isn’t going to stop because I want this to keep going for a little while longer so that I can still break some record but man am I tired so I think I will actually shut up now, nope this has to continue forever and will continue for years and then a Bert killed the 3-legged guy and ate his orange while pooping and then I shall say the bird's name is "a bird who walked across the street killed a guy with a Minecraft nose and stuff. Jesus Christ is my lord and savior.You guys probably think that that is the worlds longest sentence, but it's not,because I just keep on adding commas, and it's pretty easy, if you think about it, so anyway there is this girl at school and she's my friend, and all but she's turning really mean, its a different person, and im trying to beat the record, but that girl, who likes this boy, who likes this girl, and who likes this other boy, and that same kid likes this other girl, but that girl like another guy, but the guy is actualy a 40 year old man that eats penis for a living for the ability to never show the meerkats who's doing the write things oh and my last remark is that socialism does not work because look at Europe and Greece which is failing miserably; America always wins, there is no doubt about America's beauty, Amen and I just made it longer, and longer still as I continue to talk and talk and talk and talk throughout this, though I believe it would be referred to more as typing, so I will continue to type and type and type and type and type until I grow bored of it, and I have so I will take my leave soon, but not before I say that I somehow managed to make this already super long sentence longer, so HALLEILUIA, but we are not done yet everything I just said IS NOT RELEVANT to daily life, if you read this all you have no life, did u mention I like waffles and pancakes and people and gay marrage. This is a hell of a sentance peeps. What ever the man did the child would not wake up from the bullet that entered his head and he woke up again to find himself in heaven and then he felt fire and it was hot very hot very hot very hot very hot very hot but then he said "so" and he was alive again, alive, alive, alive, alive and then he flew like a bird and he looked in the mirror and saw his wings and his beak and his legs he was a bird like wow like what like wow like what thats so cool but then a dragon came and saved the bird and turned him into a princess and he had to live with the dragons and it was so boring and like who wrote this, who has the time to do this, because I obviously don't, and many other people don't, such as the president, CEOs of companies, terrorists, workers, kids, parents, adults, and many other people, but who gives a fuck about what we're doing, because this is all bullshit.
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