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My story (rant), I guess a lot of you can relate. Long stream of consciousness.

2020.09.29 02:11 FreeAdministration1 My story (rant), I guess a lot of you can relate. Long stream of consciousness.

Disclaimer: english is not my first language. Sorry that I am about to slaughter your language. And yeah, this is just a rant, without any real message or intent.
Now to the matter..I am 32 years old now, and I have "earned my stripes" way before internet. Life wanted that I do not have it easy, and I am pretty outgoing person, so I can really describe my life as interesting and I can say I lived well and seen much.All of this was before smartphones were widely available, heck even before they existed (shit, I am getting old). I think this is important to say because younger population grew up with smartphones and they do not know life without it. It is like when you get a baby and at the same time you buy a golden retriever puppy so they grow up really really conncected. Well as anyone else as I was about 24 years old as I bought a smartphone, it was hard to avoid it since I was at the time also working in IT industry and was really into gadgets. As it follows, I had various social networks as well (myspace, anyone?). Since then I have love/hate relationship with technology, and I have to say, even when I was hating it and realised it is bad for me/us, it was not 1/10 of what it is now. The way technology is ruining society has seen some serious growth and it is not stopping. And it is making me angry/sad.
Well, first about personal reasons I reject this way of life. I am convinced in this, and I am not ready even to listen counter arguments: when you have a smartphone, if it is in your pocket or even in same apartment as you, let alone if it is in your hands, you are not same person, you are not in this world anymore. Whether you like it or not, most of the time you pay attention to outer world is just actually taking break from your online life. You do not focus outward, you focus inward. Reality you start to believe is one you read online, phone messes your sleep, it makes you nervous and anxious, you are taking so much photos you do not even pay attention to where you are, you are rarely to never in present moment, you do not really feel see or hear things around you. And you rarely think, because every time you are supossed to do nothing so your brain can solve some puzzles and do some retrospective thinking, you take your god damn phone out of your pocket. Everything you do is less or more judged about how it will look online and will it get you some online karma points. You measure real life events and persons against events and persons online, which are either artificial or do not exist at all. List goes on, and mind you, I am talking about time when internet was not so god damn polarizing, violent, and damaging. This today is CRAZY. Well, maybe you are snowflake, but this is what phone and social networds were doing to me.
Let us go on, society. God damn I remember when playgrounds were full, teams lining up to play. Bars and night life venues were extremely live and playful, full of personality. Neighbours were drinking coffee together, lot of people was chatting to lot of other people. I am not saying these things are non existent today. But way less and something is still different. At work? Hell I remember when people you spend 150 hours a month were like your family, because you spent so much time together and you had no choice but to know each other. Well today I am working with same people last five years and I almost do not know them..even if we share same office and lunch break restaurant together. Dating..you know how was it easy before to, I dunno, get a girlfriend? Let me explain you. You had to be in someones proximity, and you had to be reasonable attractive, and not retarted..that is it. Rest would play itself, because human are social creatures which bond naturally, and especially girls are not good at spending time alone without any attention. So you were welcomed. Now..well we all know modern dating is bloody hell really. Even being alone was not so bad before..now when we are alone we go online where we destroy our perception of reality, dopamine receptors, and our lifes as well.
Music and movies? Since I am on a rant, here we go. We all know there is not much quality movies and music produced today, and even when there is it is interrupted every 10 minutes with commercials and riddled with some kind of propaganda. But hey do not worry, it is 4K! Most saddening facts about movies and music today is that people do not have taste anymore, they just look and hear whatever is popular. Numerous people do not hear music, they less or more listen few popular songs. And yes that brings me to god damn headphones. WHAT THE F are people listening whole god damn day?? Number of people having phones non stop on their head is frightening. I notice that especially with young women. I am really music fan and music is big part of my life but I just can not comprehend having headphones all the time.
Time? You know the saying one day on your death bed you will not wish you have been working more? Well, let us add something here..you also will not wish you have been spending more time online. I did so many things in my life, I manage to work, train, learn, travel, and have decent social life. I speak 5 languages of which english is the weakest one. Even lot of time to do nothing...is my day 35 hours long? No god damn..I just do not spend so much time online. Number of people saying to me "I do not have time" is..I do not know, stupid. Let us take one example, gym and fitness. I am fairly well trained, and pretty muscular. I am sick and tired of comments "yeah I would do it as well but I can not devote time to it etc.." I traing 1 hour few times a week. One hour. Now take your phone out, and go to youtube usage statistics. For the love of god look how much time you spent just on youtube last week and divide it with 7. Then look me in the eyes and tell me you do not have time. Life is not so short if you live it properly. Please do not realise this when it is too late. Time does not go back, and the older you are the more this will get into your head. At least it should.
If you think I am too dramatic about this, I can tell you just I hope you will hear my words someday. I had problems ditching smartphone, it was love hate (abusive) relationship for long time. But I managed it and I have my life back on track. Remember what I said at the beginning, how I earned my stripes before internet? Well that is important because I understand a lot of youngsters, it is hard for you to get rid of the phone. And to swim against the current, and to truly be able to be independent takes sometime as experience as well. But at least try. We do not need them all the time. Few years ago I owned two small companies with all together 47 employees. I had two flip phones. And everything was fine. The best part? I sold them to guy who had so many companies under his belt that I think he will form a corporation one day. He was a head of the group of about 3000 employees and in various fields. Guy had 6 flip phones, and he used computer just to read email. Seeing him in his office was a movie like scene, he had all 6 phones lined up in front of him, waiting which one will ring. This was 7 years ago. What do you think, how was world functioning before phones?
Which also brings me to scary fact, that so much older people (I am talking generation 50+) are also dependable on their phones. People I would never in my wildest dreams imagine being smartphone zombies. People who grew up without landline, some of them. 2 months ago I visited old friend in Switzerland. His family have this thing where sunday lunch is a sacred thing. It is almost a ceremony and if you do one thing wrong they look you like you in a very angry way. So no talking at the table, elbows on the table, radio and tv off..everyone is waiting until the others are finished etc etc..a real ceremony. I was fkn amazed to see that this year they are playing with their phones now during lunch. If I proposed that to this father few years ago that would be my last lunch there. Just crazy..
submitted by FreeAdministration1 to nosurf [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 04:27 borednightnurse1990 Smile! You’re on camera! 😂

Currently working on a project regarding fellow females asking about whats life like in the military as a female. I plan on it being a series that i would then plug in this page and anywhere people want to see it. To those of you who requested them, please bear with me as i seem to be suffering from an extended period of stupidity writer’s block. In the meantime, enjoy some funny shenanigans.
I mentioned some details about this story in the comments section of a post in militarystories. I sanitized it as best as i can, so sorry for any potential disconnects that may have resulted.
Unknown date, time, and location
Nah. Just fucking with ya. I was in my work breakroom just killing time till i have to go back to work. Part of my job description involves defeating lock mechanisms, rather uhm, explosively. A part of me has always been curious what its like to defeat them like a proper villain.
So i got a set of lockpicks online. Its a small 15?25? piece beginner’s set. I had just gotten past the couple of Master brand locks i owned and was currently working on defeating an Abus brand lock.
It was in this state that my immediate boss found me when he walked in to get some coffee.
Boss: hey. Didnt know you pick locks. Btw, dya have a permit for that?
Me: uhm. No?
Boss: hate to be that guy, but consider this a verbal counselling then. Break in tools are regulated and required to be registered and anyone who wishes to possess them must have training certification and licensed by the (our federal level of government). Failure to do so as a civillian is a criminal offense. Failure to do so as a military member is conduct unbecoming and subject to disciplinary actions. Your disciplinary action today will be this verbal counselling. Understood?
Me: yes sir. I will fix this right away.
Boss: good. Ah. Before you put that away, mind doing me a favour?
Me: huh?
Boss: i just filed some important paperwork with MY boss. He’s already gone on personal leave and i just realized i fucked up some details on a couple of them. (Not a career ender type of fuck up, but definitely resulting in a loss of face for him since he just wasted his boss’ time if he had to redo less than ideal paperwork.)
Boss: think you can use those tools of yours to open his office and get those papers for me?
Me: uhm. I dunno sir. I just got slapped on the dick by my boss for using unlicensed tools.
Boss: do me a solid and ill make it worth your while.
Me: okayyyy. Im trusting you sir.
Deed done. Months passed by, never saw any record of that verbal counselling on my personnel file. I thought that was the solid he promised me. Until one day when he called me to his office.
Boss: here’s some paperwork. These are temporary detachment orders. You’re chopped on detached duty to (Some school. Its the school where our federal and military LEOs take on advanced fieldcraft and investigative training). The current crop of trainees are currently in their field phase. You will sit in with them and train with them, and audit their classes for the remainder of their training. Once done, their instructors will give you certification papers, a locksmith/lockbreaker license, and a permit to possess those handy dandy tools of yours. You wont be able to get the qualification for their actual training course, but youre not a cop anyway so it doesnt matter. Plus, it will raise some eyebrows if i push too hard on sending a (my trade) to cop school. Thats the best i can do for that solid you did for me last time. We even?
Me: fuck yeah. Were good sir. Might even owe you a beer for this.
fast forward to cop school.
I learned more than i bargained for. Oh. My. Gawd. Picking locks is the least of what i expected to learn to do. First off, i was expecting to go there and be a student. I never expected that i was sent to the “advanced” class. Teach the teacher kind of thing. Amongst other things, i also learned how to:
-jump start cars manually like how they do in movies
-high risk search techniques that only super advanced operators in my job are qualified to do
-crack a basic safe
-pick pocketing
-surveillance and counter surveillance techniques, both mounted and dismounted
-in person and online information gathering
-social media sleuthing
-evasive driving maneouvres
-aggressive driving maneouvres
-PIT maneouvres and J turns
-close protection techniques
-how to modify regular clothing and accessories to hide anything you want
But those are boring stuff. I also got the chance to chill and hang out with the cops and coppettes in my “class” after hours. Those guys practiced on each other ruthlessly. There is just no pause button with them. Drills and practice doesnt stop just because class is dismissed. To bring me up to speed and get me involved with their Gladiator-like sparring environment, they taught me everything they have been trained on. It was an intense 5 weeks.
But there’s a kicker. Let’s go back a bit: all the lockpicking and breaking in portion of the course was only taught in a matter of 2 weeks. A paperwork fuck up stated that I was on TDY for 5 weeks. Im guessing the clerks assumed that since i am going to audit a class that has only one 5 week training module left, that i will be attending that entire 5 week’s worth of training, not a sub, sub section of that module. So i have the choice of:
-go back home and enjoy a 2 week paid vacation
-stay and play tourist at (town where cop school is at)
-stay in cop school
With the LOL (Love Of my Life) gone on a joint ex with the Americans, i decided to stay in school once my two weeks was over. I approached my instructors and told them about my remaining 3 weeks. Technically, they no longer own me since they only signed off on having me as a guest for 2 weeks. BUT, my end of the paperwork says that they do. So i asked if i could stay and continue auditing their class. Housing, feeding, training, and being responsible for an extra human in combats for another 3 weeks is a big responsibility so i offered to have my name taken off the berthing and quartering nominal roll and ill just live and eat at the local Officer’s Club. They agreed with a couple conditions:
  1. I can’t mention any of this to anyone, let alone the bean counters.
  2. I have to help them fuck with their trainees’ heads for their field phase.
Okay. That’s all the backstory this post needs, i promise. Youre up to speed now. So, for the next 3 weeks, i was still at the school, attending classes, hanging out with my cop buddies, and picking their brains on everything they learned. Since i was literally the only female in their class, they were also interested in teaching me about female specific fieldcraft that they only learned about in theory.
Flirting. Lots of flirting. Thats what they taught me to do. That’s not a fair description for it, but thats basically what it is. How to exploit your “womanly” advantages and combine it with your basic interrogation skills, and then use it in an “information gathering” context.
For three weeks, i was a wolf amongst wolfdogs. They took me in as one of their own, taught me everything they knew, and trusted me completely, never knowing that every single scrap of knowledge they passed on to me was valuable currency being contributed to the “fuck fuck games with future po-lice trainers fund”.
Every night we would all troop to the local bar and have a few pints, shooting the shit and messing around with each other. Every single one of those nights, i turned the lesbian volume level down to zero, and cranked the little Lolita knob all the way up to bitchin.
Every female i personally know in any combat arms/national defense/intel job has one badass female icon they look up to and fantasize to be. For me, its a combo of ScarJo’s Black Widow and Bridget Fonda’s La Femme Nikita. For 3 weeks, I was La Femme Black Widow.
Every time i step out to go for a drink with the boys, i was always in my “dress to kill” outfits: either little black dresses that’s not too slutty but show just enough skin to get their attention, tight leggings and body hugging tops, and hair always down and flipped or flicked out of my face at strategic times in a sultry manner when im talking to someone.
I have no words to describe its effects on men. Let me clarify something here. While i wouldnt consider myself ugly or even average looking, i wouldnt exactly consider myself a smokeshow babe either. Im just your regular woman. I look good while wearing some stuff, i look average while wearing some others, and i look like a disgraceful abomination to my gender while wearing my regular daily wear. Good Lord. I have a picture of myself on my worst shark week ever, just days after having a new IUD installed, and i look like even Satan would be pushing rope once he saw me.
Anyways, yeah. Alcohol + men + loneliness + isolation from loved ones + foxy lay-deh all equals to stupid, monumental lapses of judgment. While im sure those men have absolutely no intention of cheating on their significant others, or even any ulterior motives on me (they respected me enough and professional enough for that), things definitely got, interesting.
During their final classroom lecture, where they are supposed to be doing the AAR for the class, the instructors called me up front and center.
Instructor: standing in front of you is a person, can anyone here tell me something about her?
Classmate 1: oh, that’s (my rank) u/borednightnurse1990, a (my trade) from (my branch). She’s an honourary member of our course, sent here to join and audit us 5 weeks ago. She’s (my age), married to (my wife), and loves doing (my hobbies).
Instructor: all good observations. Also, wrong. Tell me, what is wrong with your classmate’s observations?
crickets
Instructor: here’s what’s wrong: she was only your classmate for the first 2 weeks. For the rest, she was a combatant behind enemy lines. Her enemies are you, you, you, fuck it, all of you are her enemies.
Here, (turns around to the whiteboard) let me show you jackalopes something.
flips white board dramatically
On the whiteboard are several very compromising items on pretty much every single person in our class i had managed to collect.
-pieces of really personal info about every single individual that i social engineered from their relatives and friends as a result of unsecured online footprints
-copies of their really embarassing MySpace profiles. Do you know that MySpace has always defaulted to public profiles because it was created in a day and age when online persec was non existent? And that 9 out of 10 people who created MySpace accounts has already forgotten their log in/pws? Maaaan. The stupid embarassing shit left locked in public view in that site is just amazing. 😂
-a PKI card. I actually felt bad for this one. I was trying to pickpocket a buddy’s wallet from his coat and i panicked so i swiped the first card i could thumb out of it and quickly slipped it back in his coat before he realized. I was expecting an Interac or a credit card and was surprised when i saw a PKI card. He got a for realsies ass chewing on this one.
-and the coup de grace: i was wearing a reaaaaaaalllllyyyy discrete bodycam the whole time i was out with them. Maaaan. The footage is a pure gold mine. I cant get into the specifics of it: but just imagine a bunch of grown men, doing stupid things only a teenager would do, all to somewhat impress a “girl” cheering and egging them on. Okay, here’s one specific thing: i was wearing two cameras all the time at two different strategic locations on my body. There is a sped up montage of all footage i collected, with a counter on the top left of the screen counting how many times my coursemates made direct eye contact with my “cameras”. Ill let you put two and two together. The end part of that 2 minute montage is a video of me mailing CDs to their wives, girlfriends, and mothers. (All pretend of course. Just for shits and giggles) 😂😂😂
Once select video clips were played in class, it was pure pandemonium. Amidst the sound of general laughter from the staff and embarassment from the students, I was pelted with paper balls, boo’ed, and at one time got yelled at for being a “ya stinkin’ traitorous Whore of Babylon!”, to which i replied by curtsying using a single extended middle finger pinching an imaginary skit against my thumb.
Fun times were had and i returned back to my home unit with a whole bunch of new friends and a new arsenal of tools and skills to add to my toolbox as a certified, government trained mischief maker.
I hope my story is as entertaining to you in prose form as it was for me in reality.
submitted by borednightnurse1990 to FuckeryUniveristy [link] [comments]


2020.08.22 23:46 fcatthepanerabread A week in the life of your favorite firearm dealer 8/10/2020 PLUS ADDED PANDEMIC GUN SHOW COVERAGE!

Monday 8/10/2020 to Thursday 8/13/2020
I won't do the play by play. It's more fun to just amalgamate the highlight reel of the week.
I get call after call from people looking for 380 and 9mm ammo. One notable dialogue at 8PM
1: You have any 380 ammo?
Me: Yes, I have 7 boxes yet
1: How much?
Me: 20 to a box, 50 each
1: Great we can come pick it up now!
Me: It's 8PM and I've already left for the day. Come in tomorrow
1: But we need it now.
Me: I'm not heading back to work to sell a box of ammo.
1: Oh come on! I called you! You should be able to help me!
Me: I am, during normal business hours. But if you really want 2 boxes - $100 bill and I'll head back in.
1: ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS? YOU JUST TOLD ME IT WAS TWENTY!
Me: Twenty to a box, 50 bucks each box times two boxes
1: That's highway robbery! That's price gouging!
Me: Go look online. Nobody has any 380 ammo. And if they do it is $1 or $2 per round.
1: That's ridiculous! You're not the only guy in town that has 380 ammo!
(Editors note: She calls back the next day asking for 380 ammo. Apparently I am the only guy in town that has 380 ammo. I tell her there's a new policy. No ammo sales to people who have not bought firearms.)
One of my surgeon customers calls me telling me his lead nurse who hates guns wants to buy a gun. I tell them to come on down. Her whole family and the doc come in and I have this dialogue.
1: Can you suggest a gun for someone who hates guns?
Me: That's like a vegan walking into a steakhouse and saying "whats a good steak for a vegan?" - there's no real good way to do it and everything I can suggest you is sold out and then some.
1: Well what do you have here?
Me: That's a Glock 17, here take a look.
(Unload and show clear, hand her a Glock 17)
1: OH MY GOD THIS IS SO HEAVY!
Me: That's one of the lightest full size firearms ever made.
1: Do you have something with a safety? I love safeties. The more the better. If you have a gun with 150 safetys, that's something I would be interested in.
(I glare at the doc)
Me: I've only got three or four different model pistols left in stock. Here try out this springfield XD-S.....
1: I don't like this thing in the grip here the bump....
Me: You mean the grip safety?
1: yes
1: What happened to "I love safties the more the better"
(Doc nearly inhales his surgical mask from laughing)
She hates guns and wants to go rent a bunch of guns before buying any guns but I explain the problem is you can go rent something, fall in love with it and the dealer can't get one for a year. Case in point: Glock 19's, Sig 365's and Springfield Hellcats. She believes she is not ready to buy a gun until she rents one. I tell her go to a range and go rent one and find out what she likes.
She has just taken a "safety course" offered by the local girl and a gun chapter. The local girl and a gun chapter is run by a middle aged woman who has NRA instructor creds that is the WORST FIREARM INSTRUCTOR I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE with the possible exception of James Yaeger. The last time I was at one of her events she was using the "mugger in a hoodie" paper targets and she instructed all the women to shoot him in the balls during one course of fire.
Now, I wasn't wearing my Caltech shirt that day but the fast math and trig is as follows.
Person shooting at a target 10 feet from the bench at a downward angle with a backstop of dirt 50 feet behind the bench...
I was trying to fix someone's gun before I could do anything. I am concentrated on fixing this pistol and the first volley of gunfire breaks my concentration. I then hear the sound of dozens of 9mm projectiles hitting the concrete and skipping off the property. I drop the pistol and shout at the top of my lungs a cease fire and evetyone looks at me funny
Me: KAREN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
1: Oh they're just girls, let them have their fun!
Me: ALL THE BULLETS ARE LEAVING THE PROPERTY!
1: What? No! How?
(I point at all the ricochet gouges on the concrete of the gun club)
1: Ohhhhhh
This woman is barely qualified to run a dairy queen much less instruct neophyte gun owners. Holy fucking shit. Why are people going to her? She's open, and she's a woman that has credentials that "can teach".
Yeah.
One day I head to lunch at the local pizza joint for lunch with Megan. Eddie makes a nice pizza and I sit down and have a pie. We rap about business as I eat my antipasato and wait for my freshly prepared clam pie to cool down a bit. It's not on the menu but he makes it special for us.
Me: hey eddie how's business?
ed: It's steady, lots of takeout.
Me: Its a tough economy I'd take it!
ed: Hey now!
Me: You doing okay?
ed: yeah I found that derringer I wanted at the last gun show!
Me: Oh really?
ed: Yeah! Someone ceracoted it tiffany blue and magenta
Me: Whoa whoa whoa! Please! I'm trying to eat here! Disgusting!
(Megan is drinking water and nearly does a spit take)
This is the world we're living in now.
Speaking of the new world... I wind up working a deal with a friend and we split 100k pcs of once fired lake city 5.56 brass. A local military contractor was doing some testing and they had a fucking ton of it and this is what was left. We got it for the cost of manpower to scrape it up and load it, clean it, tumble it and sort it and deprime and resize it.
My friend has two kids that are doing online learning with school, so he made them a deal. He cut the kiddos a deal to help him clean and resize and deprime the brass as labor.
We're into this stuff CHEAP. So we can sell it cheap or whatever the fuck we want in this market. I tell Ray I've got the perfect ad. We get some projectiles, some powder and primers and we run an ad. "5.56 ammo! $275/thousand! Some assembly required!" and Ray laughs his ass off.
The we got it was it was loaded into some wooden ammo crates that were left over at the contractors facility. They're heavy, not cost effective to ship and came with 5000 pcs of brass each. Ray gets an idea. He has discovered that if we portion it out and throw out or sell the wooden crates, we save a ton of money on shipping.
I wonder where he got this idea from. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nozIkRy0v-M
The kiddos load all the brass into USPS flat rate boxes in no time flat and we've got ourselves loaded ready to roll product that can ship immediately. His kids did the legwork in the loading on account of my bad back and I'm tasked with lining up buyers. No problem. I start working the local gun boards, my customers, myspace, etc. You know the usual spots.
This is where the wheels come off the wagon. I get a guy who comes right out the gate asking for 9k and then he blurts out "How much do you have, I'm interested in all of it"
Little hint for the readers. Anyone that says they're interested in everything you have are interested in nothing you have. They're blowing smoke 99% of the time and the 1% of the time that someone does buy everything you have, you're making a killing off them or they're making a killing off you. You know the old saying in poker - if you sit down at the table and you can't find the sucker in 5 minutes, you're the sucker? It's like that.
Anyhow, my ad reads as follows: $125/thousand 5.56 Brass Lake City cleaned, sorted, resized, trimmed and polished - DILLON 1050 READY!
The guy calling me wanting 9k then asked how much I had left - he lines up 9 of his friends and they want to take ALL of it and divvy it up. Pick up today or when the guys can get off of work and come get it, they're working back asswards logistics as to who's truck is going to haul all of it, who's loading it and unloading and they plan to show up at 630 tonight after work to come get it.
At 445 I get a message - hey can you send me a picture again one of my friends wants to check something and I send it over.
And that's when the entire deal falls apart because this butthead read 5.56 brass lake city NATO headstamp $125/thousand and thought he was getting loaded 5.56 NATO spec ammo for 12.5 cents a round in 2020, told all his friends about it and shot his mouth off like a damn fool. Now he has to explain to every single one of his friends that no you're not getting 10,000 rds of 5.56 NATO ammo for $1250. Wasting my fucking time. That was my Thursday. All these people begging for ammo are driving me nuts. Yes, I have 250,000 rds of ammo. No I am not going to bend over backwards and sell it to you cheap just to be a nice person/earn your business/because your sister gave me a handjob in high school. God damn.
Lady calls me looking for 380 ammo. She needs some for her CCW class that Karen is teaching and I tell her I have some left. She comes in and I tell her it's $50 a box. She leaves without buying anything.
There's other miscellany but you get the gist of it.
NOW here's the meat and potatoes you've wanted! The tale of the gun show!
Friday 8/14/2020
I take inventory. I'm down to about 500 guns in stock and I pack as much as I can and get it ready for the show. I've got some Sigs left, a handful of Glock and a mishmash of everything else. I head to bed early knowing full well the next show will be a total shitshow. I have not done a show in a big city for nearly six months. This will be epic or epic fail.
Saturday 8/15/2020
I pull chocks at 430AM, hit the flying J for diesel and pull into the local grocery store for a sandwich at 7AM right around the corner from the gun show. They fuck up my sandwich. Serves me right for buying morning of. Fuck me to tears. I start loading into the show and the entire front of the building is set up with crowd control barriers and it takes me an extra 40 minutes to thread the needle of my hand truck and loadout. I get the table setup as fast as I can and by 9AM the doors are open and we are off to the races. I will do hour blocks instead of my previous play by play for simplicity.
9AM: Right out the gate I have people asking me for Sig 365's. I have a used one with three mags and a holster I have tagged at $650. The guy asks me if I can do any better. I ask him if he's feeling lucky. I run the 4473 bet with him.
He fills out the form straight on the first shot, no corrections - and he gives me $650, he gets $50 back with his ID.
If there's a correction to be made, I keep half a yard. He says its a bet. He loses.
As I write that up at $650, I have another guy snag a regular 365 for $700. Both their background checks clear quickly.
The morning is not off to a bad start, I think to myself. I'm about to be proven wrong massively.
One of my old friends from high school asked me to liquidate some of his collection and I told him that I would selectively cherry pick some stuff and haul it to the show since I didn't want to commit large amounts of table space for other people's guns. He's got a super clean Century M70 underfolder. It's clean even by century standards but I don't want to buy that gun.
I have it out on the table and an old romanian guy starts checking it out.
1: What country is this from?
FC: I'm not a big AK guy, it's a century so I'm guessing maybe yugoslavia or maybe romania - I don't think that its a bulgarian one, but you're welcome to take a look
1: Does it say cugir?
FC: It does not
1: How do you know it does not say cugir?
FC: I can see the side of it it does not say that
1: Where does it not say?
FC: If you look at the side of the receiver, Century has shitty electropencil that is parkerized over that you can barely read
1: Do you have some oil I can put on there to rub on it so I can read it?
FC: Look, I'll read it. What do you want to know?
1: Does it say cugir?
FC: it does not.
1: What does it say?
FC: Century M70 AB2 7.62 x 39 Georgia Vermont
1: it does not say cugir? I am romanian if it says cugir is romanian
FC: It does not say that
1: Come on then make me a deal!
(1 taps the price tag marked at $850)
FC: It's the first 20 minutes of the show, I'm not making anything on the deal it's a favor for a friend of mine. I think that gun sells down here for top dollar.
1: I give you 600 cash
FC: Come see me at the end of the show maybe I'll be amenable to discounting but not this early
1: You know problem with topcover right?
(FC looks at topcover, it's slightly off from the hole and detent. Why? IT'S A CENTURY! WHAT DID YOU FUCKING EXPECT?!?! The care and attention to detail that only Jim Fuller from Rifle Dynamics or maybe a Bulgarian Arsenal offers? Fuck you.)
FC: This gun is gonna sell this weekend as is where is, even if you think it's not right.
1: Come on make me deal!
FC: I don't negotiate with terrorists or people spending under $10k. This ain't over $10k.
1: I have cash!
FC: Got $850? We'll write it up right now.
(1 walks away and comes back 3 minutes later)
1, while holding a wad of cash: Come on make me a deal!
FC: What's your offer?
1: I will go $700
FC: Come see me at the end of the show on Sunday and I'll see what I can do.
(1 gets yelled at by the county exhibition authority for not wearing a face mask correctly and he adamantly refuses to adjust his mask and starts a full blown screaming match with the poor county employee who VERY politely asked him to wear his face mask properly. As he is engaged in this animated debate, two individuals who I will call 2 and 3 show up. 2 and 3 want the underfolder AK. 2 and 3 are what we would call hip hop/droopy jean enthusiasts, their dialogue is presented word for word without adjustment. They were dropping the hard r, not me so please don't call me names for reporting the truth.)
2: ohhhhh snapppp this is what I came here lookin for!
3: damn nigga thats a straight up choppa right there you should buy that
1: HEY I WAS HERE FIRST I AM MAKING DEAL! BACK OFF!
FC: No, you walked away - these two gentlemen are here and now they're interested in that gun and I'm giving them my time.
1: BUT I WAS HERE FIRST HOLDING CASH!
2: back off nigga I'm here to check out stuff motherfucker i'm gonna mess you up
3: yeah man back the fuck off before my nigga messes you up god damn shieeeeeeit
1: I AM HERE! HOLDING CASH! YOU GOING TO DO BUSINESS WITH ME?
FC: You walked away. This is what happens when you walk away. It's their turn......
1: BUT I AM HERE WE ARE MAKING DEAL
(FC does an ACTUAL facepalm and presses his forehead and feels a headache beginning. A deep sigh)
FC: You two.....you're killing me here.
1: I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF MAKING DEAL AND YOU DON'T WANT TO DEAL!
FC: You want to see deal? I'll show you deal!
(FC grabs AK from the hip hop enthusiasts and looks right at them while holding an order pad in right hand and rifle in other)
FC: You got $750 cash?
2: nigga I got $750 cash right here (pulls out wad of 100's)
3: oh shit that guy gonna get fuckin SWOOPED
FC: You want me to write this up right now? $750 cash. And I'll throw in 4 mags (I pull out 4 mags loaded with x39 brown bear)
2: I GET THE MAGS AND THE AMMO FOR THAT PRICE? FUCK NIGGA YOU GOT A DEAL! (he counts out $800 in c-notes and drops his ID on the table)
FC: You got yourself a rifle.
(I look back at angry romanian)
FC: That's a deal. You passed. Move faster next time.
1: I AM STANDING HERE! HOLDING CASH!
(1 throws down a stack of cash on the table, some falls behind on my table. I pick it back up and place it on his stack)
FC: You dropped some back here, don't want you thinking I shorted you or stole your money. I've got to write up these gentlemen, we're here until 5 today if you need anything else
1: (shouts at me in angry romanian while gesticulating like George Costanza complaining to Elaine about taking credit for the big salad)
FC: I'm sorry about that guy, he's got some issues. That man needs therapy not another gun
2: all good nigga all good that mofo gonna get his ass beat someday
FC: Today I didn't even have to use my AK, I got to say it was a good day
3: sheeeeeit he knows ice cube! this nigga og!
FC: Catholic school for the win!
(we fist bump)
I piss off at least one person every show. Sometimes it's good to get it out of the way in the first hour, lets you concentrate on the bigger picture things.
Three down.
10AM: Guy points at a green Glock 43 and Glock 19 Gen 4 that I have. They're each tagged at $725. Cash comes out and I write up the sale. Three women in a row snag black Glock 43's from me at $700 each. We are cranking now!
Eight down before lunch. This is getting wild.
11AM: Colt Lightweight Commander - tagged at $1050. Sells for cash. Colt Combat Unit - tagged at $1450 Sells for cash. Glock 19 MOS Gen 4 - tagged at $825. Sells for cash. Two of them back to back. Gen 4 straight 19 tagged at 775 sells on Amex. Background checks begin to start bogging down.
Thirteen down before I can even touch my sammich.
12PM: I write up three ruger LCP's in a row at $300 each. I eat half my sandwich as I sell a Kel Tec Sub 2000 at $825. Springfield Hellcat tagged at $735 goes out on a mastercharge.
Eighteen before I'm done with lunch. Sheeeeit.
1PM: My old buddy Rusty Shackleford sends me some of his collection he does not want the hassle with selling. Three ugly as sin Glock 21's, three semi clean Glock 17's and two super like new 17's. 1PM is profitable as I manage to sell everything except for a 21 and 17. People are paying $650 for PD trade 21's and $700+ on trade in Glock 17's. Why? They're the only ones in the show. Not glocks in general, I mean 21's and 17's.
Twenty four down and I have yet to finish my sandwich.
2PM: I have an immigrant from another country come over and try to buy a gun. He's super patient waiting for me to finish with customers that DO NOT STOP. Springfield XD goes out at $600. That's 25. He hands me the clipboard and I immediately stop everything I'm doing and I look down at the form.
Not only has he forgotten 10A and 12.d.2 but he's put the city in the county box and answered the firearm is not for him and he's been convicted of misdemeanor DV. I sigh and hand the form back to him for corrections.
FC: Okay, what county are we in?
1: (names city)
FC: What COUNTY are we in?
1: oh! USA!
FC: What COUNTY is this city in?
1: (names city)
FC: We're in (names county)
1: Ohhhhh thats right
FC: Who's this gun for? You or someone else?
1: Me
FC: Is there any reason you've indicated you are NOT the actual purchaser?
1: Not good at reading the form I guess
FC: Strike out intiial and date the change
1: Okay
FC: Have you been convicted of a misdemanor crime of domestic violence?
1: No it was just a misdemeanor
FC: Is there a reason why you said "yes I have been convicted of a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence?"
1: oh man I screwed that up
FC: Initial and date the change
(He fixes the front of the form and signs on 14 and dates on 15. I turn the page. He's written his passport number expiration date in the ID field and indicated that NICS has denied him)
FC: Is there any reason you wrote your passport expiration date and number here?
1: Well I'm supposed to do that, right?
(FC points to line that says SECTION B MUST BE COMPLETED BY SELLER)
1: Oh man
FC: Is there any reason you checked DENIED on the NICS result box?
1: did I do that?
(FC points to the box where he's put a big bold X under DENIED)
1: Was I not supposed to do that?
(FC hands him another form to complete)
3PM: It is now over an hour to get this 4473 done. His wife and child have to help him with the form. I finish my sammich as I look at the front of his form and it is still marked "firearm is being purchased for someone not me" and he has to correct it. I turn the page. The date is marked 9/8/2020.
FC: What day is today?
1: Saturday
FC: No I mean what day is today, what calendar day?
(1 pulls out his phone)
1: Oh. You want me to do another form?
FC: No, strike out using a single line. And using WORDS - write the date.
1: gotcha
(FC looks down at the form. the date is struck out using a single line. It now reads in words SATURDAY 9/8/2020)
FC: What day is it?
1: It's saturday.
FC: Saturday the.........
1: Fifteeenth?
FC: Then explain why this says 9/8/2020?
1: Oh man you want me to do another form?
FC: Just fill it out using WORDS AS THE DATE - MONTH/DAY/YEAR
1: okay I got you
(FC hands the form back for correction)
1: I got it now! Man was that hard!
(FC looks down at the form. SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 8 2020)
FC: Take out your phone
(1 takes out his phone and presses the home button)
FC: Look at the date. What does it say and look at what you wrote.
1: Oh man
FC: Is it possible for us to get the correct date?
1: Yeah man I'm so sorry....
FC: Take out your phone and write out the date in letters and words EXACTLY AS YOUR PHONE DISPLAYS IT
1: Okay I can do that
(FC looks down at the form. 3:23 SATURDAY AUGUST 15. Fuck it, this is as good as it gets.)
FC: Close enough. Give me your ID.
(I write up my last Glock 19. It's tagged at $825. He pays cash without blinking.)
I mean, I've seen some shit but WOWWWW.
That's 26.
4PM: The rest of my glocks fly off the table. NIB Glock 36 - tagged at $725, gone. NIB Glock 30SF, tagged at $700, gone. NIB Glock 30, tagged at $700, gone. The only thing left on the table are 17 Gen 5 MOS's at $875 and 43X's at $775 and 44's at $400. That's 29 by 4PM. One guy does not have current ID so I have him go on the fish and game website on his phone and get a fishing license that gets me his up to date address. After 20 minutes he emails me a screencap and he's on his way home with his Glock 30.
5PM: Time to go home! I drop a stack of guns off at the local dealer for transfer on my way out the door and I make it home just before 7PM after stopping at the grocery to pick up dinner. I have a platter of fried chicken and mac and cheese. It is delicious. I get to bed early, tomorrow is going to be a long fucking day.
Sunday August 16th
737AM. I wake up and get my ass to my desk. I need to replenish some of the table. I grab stacks of more guns and get them loaded up and I swing by the grocery store deli on the way to the show. It's 8AM and they are out of bread. As in the bakery has not baked them any bread for sandwiches. For fucks sake. They make me a wrap instead. And they make it WRONG. I am not happy.
10AM: Get to the show and uncover my tables and get cranking. A millennial wants a Ruger LC380 and her fucking debit card does not work. This is why you bring cash to gun shows. It's fucking useless when technology fails AND YOU HAVE NO BACKUP. She transfers money from wells fargo to her boyfriends account at chase and he tries to use the ATM to get her cash. No dice. I swear to jebus, if you take debit cards away from this generation all of them will starve to death and die alone. Gun number 30 for the weekend is hard fought but it's done.
11AM: Crank off a Sig 1911 for a guy. He sends a stand in to pick it up for him since his son is exempt from waiting period but he isn't. It goes like this.
1: I'm gonna buy this gun instead
FC: why?
1: that's none of your business
FC: Yes it is. Purchase of firearm with intent to resell is unlawful
1: What I do with the gun after I get it, if I want to sell it to my dad is my business not yours
FC: No dice. Take a hike
Dad: Lets just do it his way, he wants to give it to the other dealer that's what we'll do. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
I write up 31 for the weekend. My jack sack is full of cash.
12PM: I got a guy come over, former law enforcement wanting to buy his kid a gun. He wants to do the paperwork and pay me and the gun is for his kid. I say if the gun is for the kid, he needs to do it. I shake off the forms and get the kid on the clipboard and everything goes smooth and I rack up a sale for a trade in FN FNS. That's 32.
1PM: Old school NYPD beat cop comes over wanting a deal on a springfield 1911 Long Beach Operator
1: They're 1911's! They're not popular anymore! Make me a deal!
FC: ANYTHING with a barrel and a trigger is popular right now. Best deal you're getting is on the tag, which is 1250 plus tax and call in that puts you right near 1350.
1: Come on, hook a brother up!
FC: That's the rate on everything, we're selling it out as fast as we can get it! Excuse me as I help these other people......
2PM: Lady comes by and says she wants a shield EZ. I ask her why. She says her man and her firearm instructor says she cant rack the slide. I pick up a Sig 220 off the table and tell her to show me. She racks the slide. I ask her how does it feel to rack a slide properly? She spends the rest of the day wondering why they lied to her. Another lady asks me for suggestions for a first gun. I ask her what she's shot before. Answer: Nothing. She cannot rent guns and try them out because every range is booked for firearm rentals for the next 2 months out. Yeah.........
Brooklyn 99 comes back over and taps on the LB operator
1: Come on man, hook a brother up!
FC: That's the price, the LB operators are a sexy gun and they're not coming out of the warehouse very often
1: Come on brother! I'm just looking for a deal! How about 1200 all in?
FC: Cash or card?
1: Card
FC: No dice.
1: Come on brother! (more pleading for a discount)
At this point the crowd at the table has heard this guy trying to get a discount for a few minutes and I've had enough.
FC: Let me ask you a question
1: Sure thing
FC: Do you have pictures of my nephews on your phone?
1: No
FC: Did you spend thanksgiving dinner at my house?
1: No
FC: Are you a named beneficiary on my will?
1: No
FC: Then guess what? You're not my brother. Hell, without your money you're not even my customer.
You could hear the snickers from the peanut gallery as I gave the guy a dressing down. I wasn't about to let him off the hook. I still had an out in the deck to play and I was going to use it.
FC: Now, if you want this gun - you want it at a discount, I respect that. Here's what I"ll do. You feeling lucky?
1: Always!
FC: Here's the clipboard. Give me a straight form, no strike outs, no errors, no mistakes, NOTHING that needs correction - I'll give it to you for 1200 on a card flat. I hand the pen back to you to fix something, I write it at 1400 all in. $200's the action, you in or you out?
1: getoutttahere
FC: I'm serious. You want the discount, get the form right and you got what you want. If there's even one error, I keep the two bills.
1: It's a bet! Lets go! I've done this hundreds of times without a problem!
I hand him the clipboard and he starts filling out the form. The peanut gallery is now fervently watching for the results as if it were not already a foregone conclusion. The fans had no idea but they were watching a fixed horse race. My dealer neighbor at the next table over chimes in.
Neighbor: hey, are you seriously taking action?
FC: ALWAYS!
Neighbor: What's the money?
FC: two bucks
Neighbor: High stakes!
FC: You haven't seen high stakes yet.
Neighbor: You're a character. I'm glad that romanian guy didn't get that rifle yesterday, he was such a pain in the ass. Like even I was annoyed by it and it wasn't even my stuff.
FC: I know, right? You snooze, you lose.
Neighbor: But really, can I get in on the 4473 bet?
FC: You can take the bookmaker out of the catholic school but.....
NYPD: I'm all done! Lets see my new $1200 gun!
(I pick up the forms and his ID and credit card and look at the forms. 12.d.2. is blank. I hand pen back to him and point at 12.d.2.)
FC: Forgot 12.d.2. That's $1400 on your Amex, sign here.
NYPD: MOTHERFUCKER THAT WASN'T ON THERE LAST TIME!
FC: When was the last time you filled out that form?
NYPD: 2012
FC: That's why. Here's your new gun, thank you for your action.
Neighbor: How often does that bet win?
FC: My house edge on that bet is 100%.
Neighbor: Shit. That's fucking hilarious. Now I know how you got that watch. I just picked up a 50th anniversary sub myself (he shows me his sub and we rap about horology for a bit.)
33 down.
3PM: ONE HOUR TO GO! I write up a shield 2.0 9mm for a lady and her hubs for $650. One lady gets unhinged when I tell her she's not going to get her gun today on account of background check volume. She starts terrorizing me with WHY CANT I GET MY GUN TODAY?!?!?!??!?! This isn't dealing with Al-Quaeda, this is Al-Karen. Last minute sale 10 minutes before the show closes cleans me out of Ruger LC9's tagged at $450. 35 down. One guy snags a Glock 43X from me for $775.
36 for the weekend makes me a happy boy. I look at all the sales in cash and credit cards and I've booked quite the fat stack of cash. I've done a month's worth of business in TWO DAYS.
4PM: Show is closed. I start packing up. The dealer across from me has Gen 5 Glock 34's tagged at $1000, 9mm at $575/thousand and 380 at $750/thousand. We rap about the state of the industry. It's just gonna get worse closer to the election. I pack up and get all my stuff loaded up.
530PM: Homeward bound........I wish I was........HOMEWARD BOUND..............
730PM: I get back to my desk and dump off a fucking STACK of 4473's. I make a bank drop for the cash and I unload and head back home. I'm starving, so I decide to have the deli re-make their culinary abortion of a wrap.
8PM: The deli is out of bread AGAIN. Are you fucking kidding me? The deli is out of bread at 8AM and 8PM? What is this bullshit..... the deli clerk takes an entire loaf of italian sandwich bread and uses it to make me a single sandwich. My colon is about to hate me. I'm waiting in line to have the cashier comp me as I see a big tall gun guy from the gun club walk in. I yell and wave since I'm wearing a mask and he comes over.
815PM: Tim O'Toole is a big giant irish gun nut criminal defense attorney that I know from the gun club. He is an aggressive and in your face about how wrong you are if you are wrong and at 6'6" he cuts an imposing presence on any courtroom he walks into. He's just bought a house in my neighborhood and we start chatting guns. He asks me if I have a Glock 17 Gen 3 9mm barrel for his latest build and I tell him that I've probably got 3 sitting on my desk. I jump on my phone and check pricing. Wholesale + $5 for him since he helps out a lot out at the gun club and he says it's a deal. He goes and gets groceries and I eat my meat tornado of a sandwich at home.
Monday August 17th
10AM: Tim comes by right on time for his barrel and asks what else I have. I have a Glock 43 come off layaway and go back into rotation and he snaps up that and a 43X and a whole litany of extra parts, glock 17 gen 3 firing pin, channel liner, trigger bars, extra mags, etc. My 1 item sale I set up in line at the grocery store is now a 15 item $2500 sale. And he wants even more stuff that I can't get! We rap about the best legal film ever made, My Cousin Vinny. He gets every judge to approve his demand to videotape depositions and witness statements. Why? "I shot the clerk" - you have to watch the movie to understand this reference. Every time a judge asks him why he wants it on tape he simply says "I shot the clerk" and since we are in the deep south and every judge that's been stuck in the Louisiana mud knows the film My Cousin Vinny, his motion is approved. I laughed my ass off. I told him I was very much looking forward to regaling the federal judge with some witty banter that went along the lines of "the two utes" and he laughed his ass off. I really wanted to pull that stunt.
11AM: Lady comes in to pick up a layway and she can't fill out the 4473 and wear a mask at the same time. She also cannot stop talking. She drives me nuts but I hold it together long enough to get her stuff worked up. She also asks me to get her a Glock 23 Gen 4. I tell her it won't be cheap and it's probably going to set her back $850 by the time I beat the bushes and line one up. She says no problem, Visa okay? Done. I get a Glock 23 Gen 4 off one of my dealer buddies in NC and get it squared away.
12PM: Lunctime. It's Salmon Hollandaise special at this new market just down the road from me and I stop in and say hi. It's like a small version of Eataly. I went to high school with the owners daughters and he's got 5 million bucks into this concept. Wine bar, cafe, grocery, NY bagels delivered daily, ramen bar, raw bar, restaurant, the whole 9 yards. Amazing. The fish is delish and on the way out I run into a guy I went to ELEMENTARY school with that's now the general manager. He offers me a job managing the seafood department and I am seriously considering it given how screwed up the gun market is.
1PM: Back at my desk, have eaten the salmon and the hollandaise has found a home in my thighs. I am fat and sassy. I sell the remaning 380 I have to a customer picking up a Sig P238 and she's super stoked to get a gun.
2PM: Random walk in. Local restaurant owner that I sold a Sig 227 to a few months ago wants me to put in an SRT kit. He's disassembled the entire frame and wants me to put it togther. I explain that an SRT install is normally 5 minutes. This is easily a 45 minute job to reassemble and that's IF he has all the parts. He says he has all the parts. I begin putting the gun back together. He does not have all the parts. He goes home and says he will look harder for the missing part.
3PM: I look online for the missing part. It's $5 and 4 weeks to ship and in stock at most vendors. This sucks. I call some favors and I know of one in the mid atlantic area I can get here in a week in case he can't find it. As I get off the phone he walks in with the missing part.
Just an FYI for the readers. In ten years, I have had "bag o gun" come through the door on three previous occasions.
First: Sig 229 from local PD. Chief took it apart, couldn't put it back together. Had no backup gun and had to go on duty in a few hours, I was asked to put it together.
Second: My buddy Bruce in PA. He detail stripped his 220 and got it wrong. I put it back together and sent it back to PA.
Third: Rusty and his 226. See above. He missed some parts. I put it back together and sent it back to Texas.
If anyone thinks they see a pattern here it's because there IS a pattern here.
I start work on the 227 and this thing is a bitch and a half. The ejector, which is a 25 cent stamped metal part is not to spec. Sig's QC sucks. Their 3mm hole PRECISELY stamped in one place isn't 3mm and isn't precise. The sear pin that has to go through the left side of the frame, through the ejector, through the left side of the sear, through the sear reset spring, through the other side of the sear, through the safety lever and through the right side of the frame is NOT COOOPERATING because the ejector is too tight. I have to beat on this thing with a drilling hammer to get it to go. 45 minutes of anger and frustration later, 227 is back in action with the garbage one piece E2 grips.
For this pain, I bill $100. He tells me he should have had me do it in the first place. I say he's right but it's a tough job doing Sig classic pistols right. They're a very challenging platform.
4PM: I ship off some more 5.56 brass and pay my buddy Ray. I head home.
5PM: Beef jerky time.
I hope you all enjoyed these stories. They have not been embellished because they need no embellishment. Stay tuned for my next story where I post about the state of the firearm industry!
God bless and have a wonderful Saturday.
PS - and this is how you do a "week in the life" thread, you fucking imposter. https://www.reddit.com/guns/comments/i759qj/a_week_in_the_life_of_your_favorite_firearm/
submitted by fcatthepanerabread to guns [link] [comments]


2020.08.22 21:55 Kilemal23 The day I met Kangaroo Girl

As far as I can remember, Kangaroo Girl (KG) was the 1st woman that I met online, MySpace to be exact. One random afternoon she started sending me messages thru the MySpace inbox. It was the usual get to know you chit chat, which continued for 3 days. What was odd is that I gave her my phone number to text me but she only messaged me thru inbox from 2 to 3 pm, unusual, but not in red flag territory, (I found out later on why she did it that way) after the 3rd day she asked to meet and I agreed, weirdness ensued.
Now, there's a number of reasons why I decided to actually meet KG in person: 1) intelligence, she had graduated from a local university, she worked in a radio station and her conversation seemed interesting, 2) she was attractive and 3) 6 months after my divorce, I was ready to jump into the dating pool. We had agreed to meet Tuesday 8 pm at my place. I lived in a gated community, so I told her to call me so I could open the gate for her. She never showed, no text, no calls.
The next day, around 230 pm, she inboxes me that she got lost. I asked her how come she didnt call me, she said she didnt know why. (Red flag 1) So I asked her why she keeps inboxing me when she can text me. She said that she uses the computers in the library from to 2 to 3pm....Library? Wtf! you have a phone! Anyways, we decided to give it another shot that night.
At around 8:15 pm, she knocks on my door (how did she get in?), I opened the door and she was all that and a bag of chips, she's 5'8, auburn hair, white complected, pretty face, green eyes. She said she just followed someone into the complex, which is cool, but how did she know what apartment? (Red flag 2) We sit on the couch and continue with the "getting to know each other" convo. I can't stop looking at her green eyes, but not for the right reasons, you see, after 15 minutes of small talk, I feel like im talking to a wall, her gaze looks...empty, as if she's not in the room with me, I thought to myself, "maybe her meds kicked in". In one instance, I was explaining to her where I worked and she just blurted "I like corvettes, I like to go fast"...awkward silence...as a change of pace, I decided to make us some dinner since I had been at work all day. I asked her if she wanted to join me but she declined, so to keep her entertained I put on a movie for her.
Since she had just blurted out that she loved Corvettes, I figured one of the "Fast and Furious" movies would be ideal. I get up and start making dinner, nothing fancy, cant remember what I cooked though. After 15 min of watching the movie, in complete silence by the way, I asked KG "is everything aright?" She said "Yes, but do you mind if I go to my car and bring down my teddy bear?" I say "Sure"...she steps outside ....and after 5 min she comes back smiling and hugging, im not making this up, a 2 feet tall...stuffed....Kangaroo.
Weird, but not a deal breaker. KG continued watching the movie in complete silence and rocking the kangaroo back and forth as if it was a baby. (Red Flag 3) I eat my dinner and cleaned the dishes, about an hour or so, then I sit next to her to finish watching the movie. 2 hours of silence from her made me realize that this woman might not be all there, and why does she keep rocking the Kangaroo back and forth? Im just thinking of ways of getting this weirdo out of my apartment, but just when I thought things couldnt get any weirder...the movie ends and KG noticed that my computer was connected to my tv, so she asked if she could check her email, which I obliged. She went to Hotmail, typed in her email and password, then erased everything. After her 5th try, I asked her, Me: "Is everything aright?, just login" KG :"I cant, theyre watching me" Me: "Whos watching you?" KG: "THEY" WTF!? I assured her that I had the latest Virus software and that nobody was going to get her information, but she kept at it. After 5 min, I just leaned over and hit enter for her, she let out a shriek and scrambled to close the browser. I got a glimpse of her inbox, nothing but spam...and I couldve swore the stuffed kangaroo gave me a "Imma kill you!" look.
Immediately after she closed that browser with her email, she opened it up again but this time she typed in a web address that took her to a web form where you could put your name, address and comments. Then she started to fill in the form...name, address, phone number, email....comments: "Why am I so alone? How come I dont have any friends?" Send. Refresh. Filled in her info...comments: "I love to go fast. I Love corvettes" Send. Refresh.... Name: "Hi"...Address: "would you visit me"...Phone number: "or call me"...Comments: "A party ha ha ha" Send. Refresh. ..by the 5th click on the refresh button, my fingers instinctively start looking for some metal skewers I hid in between the cushions.... Click, Refresh... I started to create excuses..."I dont want to be rude but"... Click, Refresh ..."you know, its getting late and I have to work"... Click, Refresh... "early in the morning". No response. Just the clickety sounds of the keyboard. Click. Refresh. My fingers feel the pointy skewers, and I start inching away towards the base. Suddenly she stops, closes the browser, looks at me with those lost green eyes, and says, "I have to go, my kangaroo fell asleep and I have to put him to bed, bye" and walks out. I immediately locked the door behind her.
I went to sleep trying to wrap my head on how crazy this night turned out to be. It was the last time I let a woman meet me at my place for a first date. Lesson learned.
The next day, KG contacted me thru myspace, so I unfriended her and blocked her. Magically, she learned how to text. The texts came in at random times with random thoughts....Hi....A party...I love corvettes...I like to go fast haha...racket...I ignored them...but then one day after work, im walking to my apartment looking thru my mail, not looking up, I turned the corner to my place and I hear KG say "Kilemal23". She startled me, as she was hiding in the dark, under the stairs. As if we have never met before, she started to talk about all the stuff we discussed on our first date, I just kept inching away to the door. I made up a lame excuse and she got in her car and left. I often wonder...how long was she there waiting?...did she stalk me?...How did she know what time I came home?
After that encounter, KG kept coming by my place at random times and would ring the door and leave. One night I had a lady friend over and KG showed up. I asked my friend to get rid of her. She did, told her that we were engaged and not to come by again. KG never showed up again.
A year later, I received random messages again but I didnt know from who, I even asked "who is this?"...no reply...but later that night...around midnight...that random number texted me....I like to go fast...I love corvettes.
submitted by Kilemal23 to creepyencounters [link] [comments]


2020.08.16 03:16 ImportantBandInMI We are a band and a "fan" of ours has dug up our embarrassing old music and publicly reposted everything for our other fans to see. Can we sue this person for damages?

(Hoping some people here know about copyright laws after we failed to get any good advice from the legal subreddit before getting deleted. Really hoping for some good advice here)

Hello, we are an indie rock band (in Michigan, if this helps). After many years of making music, we have recently recorded our first serious album and I believe we are going to be pretty big!
Which brings me to our problem. We have taken time to wipe our embarrassing old music (which dates back years) from the net, but recently, a "fan" of ours has obviously gone digging through our old things, and found an old Soundcloud with our old band name on it that we forgot to delete, as well as some of the members old solo music on the web. They have also found our old music elsewhere. These have all been reuploaded to Youtube under our current band name by this "fan", and the pictures in the videos are cringy old photos of us from our old MySpace! The songs had a few hundred views on each of them as well as likes and comments. Fans of our band were looking at these.
As you can imagine, this is very embarrassing and distressing for us. I left a comment about how disgusted I was and told them they were not a real fan, and then our manager sent DMCA takedowns to the channel, resulting in it being banned from Youtube (hoping this is permanent.) They were doing this to other bands in the area too.
My question is, can we force Google to reveal to us the real identity of this person? I would like their identity to be publicly known, and I also would like to know if we can sue this person for emotional damages (or real damages if this humiliation effects our album sales.) Maybe the police could get involved? Felony cyberstalking or felony cyberharassment? Such a charge must exist. Hopefully that would come with a ban from the internet.
I would also like to know if we can force Google to reveal the real identities of everyone who has ever watched or liked these videos. They watched our embarrassing old songs without permission. Old stuff from before we refined our music. This is humiliating. We need to know who saw this. We need the list of names. I'm unsure if we can do anything legal to them, but I would like it if they were banned from all of our concerts and fan events.
We also need these songs wiped from everywhere but we can't log in to the Soundcloud account that has them (this seems to be the main place this person is getting these songs.) We've tried everything but we can't get in. "Fans" are spreading this info! How can we force Soundcloud to delete this account? Also would we have a case in suing Soundcloud? Especially if they won't delete the files? They are causing us emotional harm and damage by hosting our old songs! We also can't get into the MySpace to delete the photos because we no longer have access to the email we created it with so same question with that. I think we'd have a case but I don't have any background in law.
submitted by ImportantBandInMI to u/ImportantBandInMI [link] [comments]


2020.08.16 03:12 ImportantBandInMI We are a band and a "fan" of ours has dug up our embarrassing old music and publicly reposted everything for our other fans to see. Can we sue this person for damages?

(Hoping some people here know about copyright laws after we failed to get any good advice from the legal subreddit before getting deleted)

Hello, we are an indie rock band (in Michigan, if this helps). After many years of making music, we have recently recorded our first serious album and I believe we are going to be pretty big!
Which brings me to our problem. We have taken time to wipe our embarrassing old music (which dates back years) from the net, but recently, a "fan" of ours has obviously gone digging through our old things, and found an old Soundcloud with our old band name on it that we forgot to delete, as well as some of the members old solo music on the web. They have also found our old music elsewhere. These have all been reuploaded to Youtube under our current band name by this "fan", and the pictures in the videos are cringy old photos of us from our old MySpace! The songs had a few hundred views on each of them as well as likes and comments. Fans of our band were looking at these.
As you can imagine, this is very embarrassing and distressing for us. I left a comment about how disgusted I was and told them they were not a real fan, and then our manager sent DMCA takedowns to the channel, resulting in it being banned from Youtube (hoping this is permanent.) They were doing this to other bands in the area too.
My question is, can we force Google to reveal to us the real identity of this person? I would like their identity to be publicly known, and I also would like to know if we can sue this person for emotional damages (or real damages if this humiliation effects our album sales.) Maybe the police could get involved? Felony cyberstalking or felony cyberharassment? Such a charge must exist. Hopefully that would come with a ban from the internet.
I would also like to know if we can force Google to reveal the real identities of everyone who has ever watched or liked these videos. They watched our embarrassing old songs without permission. Old stuff from before we refined our music. This is humiliating. We need to know who saw this. We need the list of names. I'm unsure if we can do anything legal to them, but I would like it if they were banned from all of our concerts and fan events.
We also need these songs wiped from everywhere but we can't log in to the Soundcloud account that has them (this seems to be the main place this person is getting these songs.) We've tried everything but we can't get in. "Fans" are spreading this info! How can we force Soundcloud to delete this account? Also would we have a case in suing Soundcloud? Especially if they won't delete the files? They are causing us emotional harm and damage by hosting our old songs! We also can't get into the MySpace to delete the photos because we no longer have access to the email we created it with so same question with that. I think we'd have a case but I don't have any background in law.

Thank you in advance.
submitted by ImportantBandInMI to COPYRIGHT [link] [comments]


2020.08.16 02:55 ImportantBandInMI We are a band and a "fan" of ours has dug up our embarrassing old music and publicly reposted everything for our other fans to see. Can we sue this person for damages?

Hello, we are an indie rock band (in Michigan, if this helps). After many years of making music, we have recently recorded our first serious album and I believe we are going to be pretty big!
Which brings me to our problem. We have taken time to wipe our embarrassing old music (which dates back years) from the net, but recently, a "fan" of ours has obviously gone digging through our old things, and found an old Soundcloud with our old band name on it that we forgot to delete, as well as some of the members old solo music on the web. They have also found our old music elsewhere. These have all been reuploaded to Youtube under our current band name by this "fan", and the pictures in the videos are cringy old photos of us from our old MySpace! The songs had a few hundred views on each of them as well as likes and comments. Fans of our band were looking at these.
As you can imagine, this is very embarrassing and distressing for us. I left a comment about how disgusted I was and told them they were not a real fan, and then our manager sent DMCA takedowns to the channel, resulting in it being banned from Youtube (hoping this is permanent.) They were doing this to other bands in the area too.
My question is, can we force Google to reveal to us the real identity of this person? I would like their identity to be publicly known, and I also would like to know if we can sue this person for emotional damages (or real damages if this humiliation effects our album sales.) Maybe the police could get involved? Felony cyberstalking or felony cyberharassment? Such a charge must exist. Hopefully that would come with a ban from the internet.
I would also like to know if we can force Google to reveal the real identities of everyone who has ever watched or liked these videos. They watched our embarrassing old songs without permission. Old stuff from before we refined our music. This is humiliating. We need to know who saw this. We need the list of names. I'm unsure if we can do anything legal to them, but I would like it if they were banned from all of our concerts and fan events.
We also need these songs wiped from everywhere but we can't log in to the Soundcloud account that has them (this seems to be the main place this person is getting these songs.) We've tried everything but we can't get in. "Fans" are spreading this info! How can we force Soundcloud to delete this account? Also would we have a case in suing Soundcloud? Especially if they won't delete the files? They are causing us emotional harm and damage by hosting our old songs! We also can't get into the MySpace to delete the photos because we no longer have access to the email we created it with so same question with that. I think we'd have a case but I don't have any background in law.
Thank you in advance.
submitted by ImportantBandInMI to LegalAdviceMatters [link] [comments]


2020.08.10 09:13 Gfreya860 9 Apps on Google Play Store That Have More Than a Billion Downloads

9 Apps on Google Play Store That Have More Than a Billion Downloads
Google Play Store has a collection of innumerable apps which multiply on a very regular basis. The apps have a wide range and encompass genres like informative, gaming, memory building, social media, learning, dating, entertainment, finance, health and fitness, maps and many more. Since all the categories have an abundance of options to choose from, it is a milestone for an app to reach one thousand million downloads. Reaching such a big number in terms of downloads signifies the reliance and trust of a huge population on your code and app. Here are some such apps whose download numbers are north of one billion.

https://preview.redd.it/dpn56ro0l4g51.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d82c4c75992e1477300cefc1e1d39e91b587a71c
WhatsApp
The very first of its kind, WhatsApp is the go-to phone messenger for everyone nowadays. This app is undoubtedly one of the very first online messaging apps that shot to fame and is still highly relevant. The app had upwards of 2 billion downloads at the beginning of this year. Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook bought this app in the year 2014. WhatsApp lets you send texts, GIFs, emojis, videos, audio messages, images, documents to other users. Now you can also video call and audio call on it.
Instagram
Another one of the leading platforms acquired by Facebook is Instagram. While the app only allowed users to share pictures and comment on it in the beginning, it has come a long way since. Features like stories, Instagram Live, IGTV, Instagram carousel, video sharing, Instagram Direct Messaging, and the upcoming Reels are just a few examples of the up-gradation Instagram has witnessed. The app has had its ups and downs in terms of acceptance of updates from users. But that has never really affected their download numbers.
Facebook
It would have been peculiar if all the companies acquired by Facebook would be on the list but not Facebook itself. Facebook hit the internet in the year 2004 when social media like Orkut and Myspace were at their peak. But Facebook still managed to push these famous names far behind and created its well-deserved mark in our lives. The app is very easy to use, and hence it has users of all age groups across the globe. Despite a lot of controversies, the app has faced in recent times related to privacy and data security, the download statistics of the app seem to be unaffected.
Facebook Messenger
The messaging feature was always a part of the social media platform, but the actual app came to the Google Play Store nine years back. Like the platform itself, the Messenger is also equipped with a reasonably easy user interface and gets the job done without any fuss, which is why people prefer it over any of its alternatives.
Subway Surfers
It may have been visible that all the apps listed above are social media-related apps. Subway Surfers is the first gaming application to make this list. It was the first game to ever cross the milestone of one billion downloads because the people could not get enough of Jake, Fresh, Tricky, and all the fun they had. The three ran on train tracks, dodging all hurdles and shuffling to collect bonuses. The game engages the players, and they end up spending hours on the game.
Snapchat
This app may have taken a backstep since Facebook and Instagram introduced similar features, but it still holds its charm. The app began as a photo and messages sharing app wherein the images lasted for only 24 hours, and the messages deleted themselves after the receiver read them. But later the app added features like video sharing, messaging (with a save option), bitmojis, and much more. The app may not be as popular as it once was, but a lot of users still enjoy the interesting filters and video options on it.
Skype
It is another example of apps that once reigned their category but not so much anymore. With all other platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp, and Snapchat introducing video call options, they left Skype somewhere behind. However, a lot of professionals and interviewers still prefer this app over others for official video conferences.
Google Search
This list would have lost all its credibility if Google was absent here. The company is a search engine giant and has no real competitor in the market at present. The company is so successful that people use the word “Google” instead of saying “search on the internet.” The app is a must-have on all the phones no matter how many searches you make in a day.
Candy Crush Saga
Why not end the list with a sweet candy-filled game! The app mesmerized the people right when it came to the Play Store. It may seem that the game is super easy and feels like a child’s play in the initial levels, but as you progress in the game, it begins to get tougher to clear each level.
The Google Play store holds nearly 2.96 million apps on its platform and keeps adding new ones frequently. Originally named Android Market, the Google Play Store was launched in October 2018.
source: https://global-address.com/blog/9-apps-on-google-play-store-that-have-more-than-a-billion-downloads/
submitted by Gfreya860 to u/Gfreya860 [link] [comments]


2020.08.02 07:40 VapingVeganViVi Manifested popular YouTuber to like me back!

Ok so this an old story before I knew anything about manifestation, but it just goes to show how natural this ability is and when it comes to a mate it might be on overdrive haha. So obviously this may not adhere to all the "rules" of manifesting, like not looking at the 3D since I wasn't aware of what I was doing, but this is my account and hope it inspires you. I definitely try to keep it in mind when attracting people I view as "out of my league."
When I was just out of high school I found a young YouTuber attractive, funny, charming, etc. I fell for him through his videos and decided to follow him on Myspace (lol so outdated). I left a comment saying he was looking good, then a message saying how I liked his videos. He responded politely and that was that.
Me being a young, naive, and optimistic girl before hardships hit me to later question my confidence, I was convinced he must be smitten with me! Every time he was online I pictured him looking at my photos and wondering what I was doing. I'd go about my days feeling high as a kite over the possibility of him liking me. Occasionally he DID reach out and we'd start talking about our personal lives and it made me feel even more confident.
Eventually a local guy I had liked since I was young stepped into my reality and I had no idea it would begin a very, very long relationship. I'm not sure if it was my distraction or if I doubted my manifesting or what, but a 3P stepped into the picture with my YouTuber. I realized all those love songs he would put up must have not been for me after all, that they must have been for her! I was sad to lose him, but elated to begin dating my local crush.
Later, the YouTuber and the 3P split while I was happily in my relationship. He asked if we could meet up and I declined. He was willing to travel across the country to see me. I was confused though. Was I second choice? He said I never was, it was always only me, but he thought I wouldn't like HIM. HA! We kept in touch a bit and I helped him with girl problems. We spoke about pretty personal things and to be honest I just wanted to see him happy. It led to him being happily married to a girl he would ask me advice for. We stopped talking since he got married, and that's perfectly ok with me.
I still try to remind myself that all this happened when I doubt an SP will return my feelings for me. I made a YouTuber with hundreds of thousands of subscribers (a lot at the time) like me that never even met me! And trust me, I wasn't like blow-your-mind cute or anything, I look back and think HOW!? LOL
Currently I have great luck manifesting guys I DON'T like lol. So I am on here trying to hone in my abilities for hopefully the one I desire. I think something holding me back is the whole feeling like a creep even though I'm trying to tell myself everyone is me pushed out. If mass prayemeditation is real, then please offer me some SP victory vibes! Hope the story helped and happy manifesting!
submitted by VapingVeganViVi to nevillegoddardsp [link] [comments]


2020.07.28 06:55 ButterscotchDizzy I just want love. Hell, just genuine 'like' and a hug will do anymore.

I dunno if this sub does tl:drs but this is an ordeal so here is a TL;DR: I'm 30 and every actual relationship has cheated on me, and every other person I've talked to has either also stopped cause someone else better came along. I've not been on a date in my life, never had sex with a girlfriend, and with quarantine doubt I even could anytime anyway, and I'm honestly getting a bit mentally unhinged. It feels like my entire brain is just permanently in a constant fog of just pure envy.
I have had a few girlfriends in my life. My first one I didn't get until I was in college, and she moved away a bit into it. We kept talking after the move, though eventually she got distant and officially ended things. I loved her, and she had said that she loved me too. We had met on a forum of all places, and something brought me back there, and due to some weird feelings, I went and went to her profile again. This was back when myspace was dying out, and I guess the beginning of twitter. Her links to those were there in her profile, and I checked them out. One had a picture of her kissing someone, not a problem really, except for the date. It was before she moved, and captioned it that meeting him that day was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Her twitter, literally the first tweet on the page: "my first boyfriend doesn't count lol".
I was single for... several years after that. The next time I dated anyone... I wasn't really into it. Neither was she. She had a crush on me, and her family was the only friends I had at the time. They pushed me to date her so I did. But, she never wanted to go out, except when it was with a friend of hers. And then when we were together later, she spent her time on her laptop chatting with guys on dating sites. We broke up and within a few days heard her sister talking about guy that had came over to see her the week before. And that relationship, such as it was, lasted half the time of the already short one from before.
After that I met someone at a concert. Hit it off well, found out she lived closer to me than we were worried about. Even though it was a bit weird that even then, when I went to see her it was always her and one of a few of her friends, we still had a great few two months, before she sent two screenshots of messages. Two because the first one was the uncropped one, which she fixed and sent again. It doesn't delete things on the other end though if you try to delete it. The reason she did was she meant to crop out the comment about how her and a guy talked about hooking up in the messages above.
Stepped away for many years again. Friend pushed me to start talking to a girl that had started hanging out with our little group. I did, we actually started dating, though same thing as always happened, there was never just us. She only wanted to come over when another friend was there. Sure enough, she breaks up with me after like... a month? month and a half? To be with the friend. And then recently found out she also slept with one of my only friends here during that time.
More years. Finally date someone else. An actual date of ours gets cancelled due to her kids. We just spend time at her house, which is nice, though I never get to see just her. Accidentally grab her phone before leaving, we had the same case, and find that she's been meeting people from Tinder whenever I'm not there.
Interspersed between these, even outside of relationships, its all bad. There was a girl came over to a friends for a small party. We hit it off, started talking, later that night was cuddling and kissing. Next day, friend was talking to their mutual friend, they asked where the girl was then, and when told 'aww, shes cuddling in my roo-' she jumped up and ran to the door saying she was there. I had gone to see her once after that, we were still really close but something seemed off when I talked to her later, and found out after she had a boyfriend, and why she shot up out of bed when we were there was cause her friend on the phone knew that.
A girl that came to my job, that my friend trained to work at another store, was really cute. I mentioned this to my friend, she said that the girl said the same about me, arranged for a little party at our place, I ended up blackout drunk because I'm an idiot, woke up with her cuddled up on me. I thought that was... fine, if we had sex it would have been nice to have remembered it. Turns out we did. Also turns out, she had a boyfriend. Go me, losing my virginity while drunk to a girl in a relationship.
A girl had messaged me on facebook out of nowhere when that was a thing. I thought it was a weird catfish at first, though would have had to have been dedicated. We talked for a while, she talked about going to the college nearby, we were excited about being together.... then silence. Didn't hear from her for a while until like a year later, she talked to me again, quickly got to be just as seemingly into me as before, then told me she was engaged. Said it was arranged. I was sad but accepted it, we kept talking less flirtatiously, she had me look at some stuff she wrote on her blog, I looked away from those and to an older post, where she announced her engagement. To someone she had been with for years.
Then a girl I met online, in a game, which is already a red flag I guess but still. We started talking, she got interested after like 2 months of me being in with them, one of our now mutual friends noticed and pushed us to make something of it. I start making plans to fly there, then another guy joined. They started talking a lot, I noticed one time he got on discord, she said she was going to sleep early, then he disappeared too. I noticed that coincidence a few times leading up to me about to fly there, until like exactly a month away she just got kinda shitty about nothing, said she was leaving discord for a bit, I tried texting her that I'd be around when she got back, then when she did come back she never responded to me until it was another shitty thing. Later our mutual friend said she was sorry about all of it, and her and the other guy were together.
Then ultimately what finally got me here tonight, well, one of 2 things, is that a year ago, about this time, a friend I had made online confessed feelings she had for me. Now I had liked her basically since I met her but she was with someone so I just ignored them. But when she said that I admitted mine and we flirted *hard* for like a month. I was genuinely in love with her so that was probably the happiest I'd ever been. But, she was engaged. In a relationship that was falling apart, but engaged nonetheless. But then she started talking a lot to another guy in discord also. I got very depressed though I knew that didn't matter since nothing could happen with us anyway. But, then, come to find out, she ended up out of that engagement, and in a long distance thing with the other guy. I was more heartbroken than I had ever been before. But, I stayed friends with her, though we didn't talk as much anymore.
Then because I'm an idiot. She had some bad experiences in that, broke up, starting talking to me more. We hit it off better than before even, but, due to what she talked about in the last long distance thing, said she didn't wanna be in a long distance relationship. That being said, we had started talking about getting me a ticket to visit. We were just waiting on her to finish her new house and move there before I did. She got very near to that, and in that time, had started talking to more of my longtime friends in discord. And within those few weeks, I noticed what I had many times before. She seemed to get more distant with me, talked more to one of them, and long story short now is talking about what they will do when he moves over there, and are seemingly in a long distance relationship now. And it's just absolutely killing me that both this happened again, and that its one of my friends again, and that I'm on my own again.
No one else I know has this problem. Literally every single person I know in person are in a relationship and have been with their current one for longer than I'd ever been with all of mine together. Most of my online friends are (now, at least.) And the ones that aren't are all on Tinder and just hooking up whenever they want cause they are attractive enough to and that's what they want.
Oh yeah, on that note, I've tried that occasionally. Like.... 6 places that I know of. On all of them but one I've gotten nothing but bots and girls saying nothing but sending a link to a paypal account. And one time someone sent me a message just saying that I was the ugliest person they had ever seen on there, which I doubt is true but still. The one site I did ok on and actually talked to people on, I got flaked on more times than I can count and then stood up three times. I dont know if I have it in me to try that again.
I've been told that I need therapy. I've spent days on the phone with the hotline, both national and local, and with every psychiatrist and psychologist and therapist in the area and then some. It's not an option for me. I'm uninsured, and jobless now due to covid, and the only places that have assisted health care for the uninsured requires me to live in that area. The ones here are wildly expensive, and the online services I've seen are also still out of my price range.
I dunno what I wanna accomplish with all this. I've never wanted anything other than just love. I dunno why I have to keep getting it dangled in front of me.
submitted by ButterscotchDizzy to lonely [link] [comments]


2020.07.28 03:43 ButterscotchDizzy I just want love. Hell, just genuine 'like' and a hug will do anymore.

I dunno if this sub does tl:drs but here is a TL;DR: I'm 30 and every actual relationship has cheated on me, and every other person I've talked to has either also stopped cause someone else better came along. I've not been on a date in my life, never had sex with a girlfriend, and with quarantine doubt I even could anytime anyway, and I'm honestly getting a bit mentally unhinged. It feels like my entire brain is just permanently in a constant fog of just pure envy.

I have had a few girlfriends in my life. My first one I didn't get until I was in college, and she moved away a bit into it. We kept talking after the move, though eventually she got distant and officially ended things. I loved her, and she had said that she loved me too. We had met on a forum of all places, and something brought me back there, and due to some weird feelings, I went and went to her profile again. This was back when myspace was dying out, and I guess the beginning of twitter. Her links to those were there in her profile, and I checked them out. One had a picture of her kissing someone, not a problem really, except for the date. It was before she moved, and captioned it that meeting him that day was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Her twitter, literally the first tweet on the page: "my first boyfriend doesn't count lol".
I was single for... several years after that. The next time I dated anyone... I wasn't really into it. Neither was she. She had a crush on me, and her family was the only friends I had at the time. They pushed me to date her so I did. But, she never wanted to go out, except when it was with a friend of hers. And then when we were together later, she spent her time on her laptop chatting with guys on dating sites. We broke up and within a few days heard her sister talking about guy that had came over to see her the week before. And that relationship, such as it was, lasted half the time of the already short one from before.
After that I met someone at a concert. Hit it off well, found out she lived closer to me than we were worried about. Even though it was a bit weird that even then, when I went to see her it was always her and one of a few of her friends, we still had a great few two months, before she sent two screenshots of messages. Two because the first one was the uncropped one, which she fixed and sent again. It doesn't delete things on the other end though if you try to delete it. The reason she did was she meant to crop out the comment about how her and a guy talked about hooking up in the messages above.
Stepped away for many years again. Friend pushed me to start talking to a girl that had started hanging out with our little group. I did, we actually started dating, though same thing as always happened, there was never just us. She only wanted to come over when another friend was there. Sure enough, she breaks up with me after like... a month? month and a half? To be with the friend. And then recently found out she also slept with one of my only friends here during that time.
More years. Finally date someone else. An actual date of ours gets cancelled due to her kids. We just spend time at her house, which is nice, though I never get to see just her. Accidentally grab her phone before leaving, we had the same case, and find that she's been meeting people from Tinder whenever I'm not there.
Interspersed between these, even outside of relationships, its all bad. There was a girl came over to a friends for a small party. We hit it off, started talking, later that night was cuddling and kissing. Next day, friend was talking to their mutual friend, they asked where the girl was then, and when told 'aww, shes cuddling in my roo-' she jumped up and ran to the door saying she was there. I had gone to see her once after that, we were still really close but something seemed off when I talked to her later, and found out after she had a boyfriend, and why she shot up out of bed when we were there was cause her friend on the phone knew that.
A girl that came to my job, that my friend trained to work at another store, was really cute. I mentioned this to my friend, she said that the girl said the same about me, arranged for a little party at our place, I ended up blackout drunk because I'm an idiot, woke up with her cuddled up on me. I thought that was... fine, if we had sex it would have been nice to have remembered it. Turns out we did. Also turns out, she had a boyfriend. Go me, losing my virginity while drunk to a girl in a relationship.
A girl had messaged me on facebook out of nowhere when that was a thing. I thought it was a weird catfish at first, though would have had to have been dedicated. We talked for a while, she talked about going to the college nearby, we were excited about being together.... then silence. Didn't hear from her for a while until like a year later, she talked to me again, quickly got to be just as seemingly into me as before, then told me she was engaged. Said it was arranged. I was sad but accepted it, we kept talking less flirtatiously, she had me look at some stuff she wrote on her blog, I looked away from those and to an older post, where she announced her engagement. To someone she had been with for years.
Then a girl I met online, in a game, which is already a red flag I guess but still. We started talking, she got interested after like 2 months of me being in with them, one of our now mutual friends noticed and pushed us to make something of it. I start making plans to fly there, then another guy joined. They started talking a lot, I noticed one time he got on discord, she said she was going to sleep early, then he disappeared too. I noticed that coincidence a few times leading up to me about to fly there, until like exactly a month away she just got kinda shitty about nothing, said she was leaving discord for a bit, I tried texting her that I'd be around when she got back, then when she did come back she never responded to me until it was another shitty thing. Later our mutual friend said she was sorry about all of it, and her and the other guy were together.
Then ultimately what finally got me here tonight, well, one of 2 things, is that a year ago, about this time, a friend I had made online confessed feelings she had for me. Now I had liked her basically since I met her but she was with someone so I just ignored them. But when she said that I admitted mine and we flirted *hard* for like a month. I was genuinely in love with her so that was probably the happiest I'd ever been. But, she was engaged. In a relationship that was falling apart, but engaged nonetheless. But then she started talking a lot to another guy in discord also. I got very depressed though I knew that didn't matter since nothing could happen with us anyway. But, then, come to find out, she ended up out of that engagement, and in a long distance thing with the other guy. I was more heartbroken than I had ever been before. But, I stayed friends with her, though we didn't talk as much anymore.
Then because I'm an idiot. She had some bad experiences in that, broke up, starting talking to me more. We hit it off better than before even, but, due to what she talked about in the last long distance thing, said she didn't wanna be in a long distance relationship. That being said, we had started talking about getting me a ticket to visit. We were just waiting on her to finish her new house and move there before I did. She got very near to that, and in that time, had started talking to more of my longtime friends in discord. And within those few weeks, I noticed what I had many times before. She seemed to get more distant with me, talked more to one of them, and long story short now is talking about what they will do when he moves over there, and are seemingly in a long distance relationship now. And it's just absolutely killing me that both this happened again, and that its one of my friends again, and that I'm on my own again.
No one else I know has this problem. Literally every single person I know in person are in a relationship and have been with their current one for longer than I'd ever been with all of mine together. Most of my online friends are (now, at least.) And the ones that aren't are all on Tinder and just hooking up whenever they want cause they are attractive enough to and that's what they want.
Oh yeah, on that note, I've tried that occasionally. Like.... 6 places that I know of. On all of them but one I've gotten nothing but bots and girls saying nothing but sending a link to a paypal account. And one time someone sent me a message just saying that I was the ugliest person they had ever seen on there, which I doubt is true but still. The one site I did ok on and actually talked to people on, I got flaked on more times than I can count and then stood up three times. I dont know if I have it in me to try that again.
I've been told that I need therapy. I've spent days on the phone with the hotline, both national and local, and with every psychiatrist and psychologist and therapist in the area and then some. It's not an option for me. I'm uninsured, and jobless now due to covid, and the only places that have assisted health care for the uninsured requires me to live in that area. The ones here are wildly expensive, and the online services I've seen are also still out of my price range.
I dunno what I wanna accomplish with all this. I've never wanted anything other than just love. I dunno why I have to keep getting it dangled in front of me.
submitted by ButterscotchDizzy to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.07.27 16:27 youngbull316 Best Gen Z Start Dates Ranking (1992-2003)

These are the list of start dates of Gen Z for each birth year from 1992 at the earliest and 2003 at the latest. This is just an estimate and this is not to gatekeep anybody born after me in trying to be a Millennial, this is to show the transition of start dates for Gen Z from a 10-year span and give reasons why. This is going to be a rank from best to worst, based on my opinion, and also how the most people on this subreddit would view the start date. I put the range from 1992-2003 because there is a transition from Generation Y to Z, with those who came of age in the 10's and spent the majority of one's childhood in the 2000's decade. Also, being born after the USSR collapse, pre-9/11, pre-Iraq War, etc. are examples.
Edit: I forgot to mention that this post is heavily American-centric, so this stuff does not apply to other countries. Also, this list will be a bit nitpicky, with things like "being the first to drink in this era", so there will be some people who will argue with these reasons and heavily disagree, but I am trying to do the best I can with this list, and this is not to be treated as gospel.
Inspired by this post (Some points are from this post, as well): https://www.reddit.com/GenZ/comments/a37swg/best_starting_points_for_gen_z_ranked_19922002/

  1. 1999 (give or take late 1998/Class of 2017): This is probably the best start date for Gen Z, in my opinion. Although, the main problem with this is that 1999 is the only birth year that is Z while every other 90's birth year is a Millennial, making it feel very awkward. Key reasons are because this cohort was the first to spend K-5 elementary school in the 10's, the quintessential decade for Generation Z childhood, spent the majority of elementary school when the 7th generation consoles were coming out, were not yet able to drink prior to 2020 and the coronavirus pandemic, could not vote in the 2016 election, and were still in the K-12 system when Donald J. Trump became the 45th president of the United States, which is what most, if not all, of Gen Z will experience. 1999 seems to be the best start date.
  2. 1997 (give or take late 1996/Class of 2015): This seems to be most people's start date, based on Pew Research Center's Post-Millennial start date. I don't agree with it much anymore, but I see why it is so popular. If 1997 was the start date, that would make those born in the early-mid 90's as Millennials and those born in the late 90's as Z, which looks to be perfectly in the radar of most people. Key reasons are because this cohort spent most of elementary school after Web 2.0 went on the rise around late 2004, after the Spongebob Squarepants took a new direction after their movie, when the Powerhouse and Klaspy Csupo eras of cartoons ended, when Nickelodeon Studios closed down and when YouTube made its debut. They also spent the majority of adolescence when smartphone sales surpassed dumb phone sales in 2013, and the first to enter high school when smartphone sales surpassed PC sales in 2011. They spent the majority of high school after the Sandy Hook shooting and the 2012 apocalypse. They spent the majority of K-12 when we had the first black president of the US. They also did not spend a single childhood year in the 90's, which is the Millennial childhood decade, and were never teens in the 2000's, which was also the Millennial youth decade. Lastly, the defining reason is because they were the first to enter Kindergarten after 9/11 happened, which gives them less of a chance of remembering the event.
  3. 2002 (give or take late 2001/Class of 2020): Even though I don't consider myself the start of Gen Z, 2002 has seemed to be more and more clear distinct generationally from the rest because of the events going on throughout the course of their lives. Key reasons are because they were born after 9/11 (the obvious), they spent the majority of elementary school in the 10's decade, which the peak Gen Z kid decade, started Kindergarten after the launch of the iPhone, were the first in elementary school after the 2012 apocalaypse and Sandy Hook shooting, spent the majority of K-12 after the Russian Annexation of Crimea (start of Cold War II), and started high school after Brexit, Paris bombings, and the political shift of 2016, forming us into the world that we currently know. They also spent the majority of high school after the Parkland shooting, which further separated the high school students from Millennials when "Generation Z" started to be widely known. Lastly, they were the first to graduate high school after the coronavirus pandemic that changed the world forever and made an even bigger impact than 9/11; this group became the first class to not have a proper graduation and a send-off senior year, and will also be the first to start off college different from other class before them.
  4. 2001 (give or take late 2000/Class of 2019): Most of the top ones happen to be odd number birth dates, and that is probably because it looks more pleasing to the eye than even number start dates, but that is what I think. 2001 to me does seem like another good start date. Key reasons are because they were the first to be born in the actual 21st century (2000 is the symbolic "new millennium" start date, but 2001 is the true start of the 21st century) and to generally be a Millennial, you would really have to come of age in the early 21st century but also be born in the 20th century (2001 borns would come of age in the early 21st century but the fact that they were born in the 21st century sort of defeats the purpose). They were the first to enter elementary school after Hurricane Katrina and when Pluto no longer became a planet (depends on school district). They also spent most of elementary school after Barack Obama was elected as the first black president of the US and after the Great Recession crisis of 2008. They were the oldest in elementary school after the end of the Iraq War, and spent the majority of K-12 after the Sandy Hook shooting and the 2012 apocalypse. They also were the first to enter high school after Trump announced his campaign for US president and when gay marriage was legalized in all 50 states. They spent the majority of their high school years during the Trump administration. They were the first to graduate after Tiktok, a major Gen Z app, became popular in the US, and after climate change became a major issue. They were also the first born in the Bush administration, if that is of any significance. Lastly (this is highly debatable), they are probably the first that truly had the Gen Z experience as they spent the most of their childhood after the start of the Great Recession in late 2007, most of adolescence after the 2016 election, and were never teens in the early 10's (a bit nitpicky), which was the last predominant Millennial teen era.
  5. 2000 (give or take late 1999/Class of 2018): Most of the ones at the top, involve the start dates from the late 90s/early 00s because anything before that do not seem legitimate enough to be Gen Z start years. 2000 is definitely an important start date. For many reasons. First of all, they are the first birth year that starts with a '2' instead of a '1', they were the first group born after Y2K into the new millennium (2000 in the general sense belongs to the new millennium, while technically being the last year of the 2nd millennium and 20th century), they started Kindergarten after the launch of the PSP, Web 2.0, YouTube's debut, etc. They spent the majority of elementary school after the launch of the iPhone, when LCD TVs surpassed CRT TVs in unit share in late 2007, and the start of the Great Recession. They would've also been the first to spend the majority of their total compulsory schooling (k-12) after smartphone sales surpassed PC sales in 2011, the first to start high school after the Russian Annexation of Crimea (start of Cold War II), and the first to graduate high school after worldwide internet usage reached 50%, as well as after Generation Z received a legitimate identity separate from the Millennials with Parkland, Fortnite, and Tide Pods.
  6. 1998 (give or take late 1997/Class of 2016): Birth years like 1998 seem to be weaker start dates, especially since they have more generation defining "lasts" than "firsts", but to be fair, there are a few reasons for them being the start of Gen Z. Key reasons are because they are the first complete 21st century children, starting their childhood in 2001, the beginning of the 21st century. They spent the majority of elementary school after Hurricane Katrina and the first of the 7th generation consoles (Xbox 360) were being released. They were also the first to start elementary school after the launch of MySpace and the start of the Iraq War, which ended when they were in 8th grade so they also were the first to enter high school after the end of the Iraq War. They were still in high school during the anticipation of the 2016 election throughout the 2015-2016 school year. They spent a slight majority of high school when ISIS became a major threat. They were the first to spend the majority of K-12 after the Great Recession ended, and (depending on the district) spent most of K-12 in the 10's by a month. Lastly, they were the first to graduate college after the coronavirus pandemic so they never had a proper college graduation and will now struggle in the workforce because of the economic downturn because of the pandemic.
  7. 1996 (give or take late 1995/Class of 2014): This start date works perfectly for the Deon Smit cusp of 1993-1998, but I put it down the list because it is too early to start the generation because the deeper in the future we get, the more we realize the mid 90's babies are not Gen Z, but are Millennials. However, 1996 is a much better start date than 1995 and here's why. Key reasons are because this whole cohort was born after the launch of Windows 95, the commercialization of the internet, which was revolutionary and made the internet what it is today, they never had a K-12 education in the 20th century, they spent the majority of elementary school after the first social media app, MySpace (correct me if I'm wrong) was launched and after DVDs outsold VHS in sales. They were the oldest in elementary school when the 7th generation consoles came out and when Pluto was no longer a planet. They spent the majority of K-12 after the iPhone launch and the Great Recession. They never entered high school in the 10's, spent the majority of high school after the Iraq War and graduated after the start of the second Cold War. They also were never able to drink before Trump's presidency.
  8. 2003 (give or take late 2002/Class of 2021): This is the youngest birth year that I listed, because I don't think Gen Z could start any later than that (2004 could possibly be a start date, but I think is a little too late). Most probably expect this to be farther down the list, but there are some good reasons why it could be a liable start date. Key reasons are because they were the first born after the establishment of Homeland security, spent the majority of their childhood in the 10's, the prime Gen Z childhood decade, entered kindergarten after the start of the Great Recession and when LCD TVs surpassed CRT TVs in unit share in late 2007. They spent the majority of K-12 after ISIS became a threat, and were the first to enter high school after Trump became president, so they never spent a day in high school when Obama was in office. They also would be the first to spend a full year in high school during the coronavirus pandemic and experience the change in classroom instruction in K-12, and are the first to graduate after the George Floyd riots (some of 2002 technically graduated after, depending on the district, but still).
  9. 1994 (give or take late 1993/Class of 2012): This is probably a better start date than 1995, because it has some more important "firsts" than "lasts" compared to 1995. Key reasons are because they started K-12 after the Columbine shooting, spent the majority of elementary school after 9/11 and the 6th generation gaming consoles releasing, and was still in elementary school when Web 2.0, the Motorola Razr, PSP, and YouTube came out and after Spongebob Squarepants took a new direction following the first movie. They entered high school after the Great Recession and spent the majority of high school in the 10's, after the release of the iPad. They were the first to graduate after the Iraq War, and became of legal age to drink in the second half of the 10's.
  10. 1995 (give or take late 1994/Class of 2013): This is kind of ranked far down, but it does not have many noticeable firsts. Key reasons are because they entered kindergarten after Y2K, they spent the majority of elementary school after the Iraq War, they spent most of their childhood after 9/11, spent the majority of K-12 after the 7th generation consoles came out. They were the first to enter high school after the end of the Great Recession and the first black president entered office, meaning that they spent all of high school under Obama, along with classes of 2014-2016, who also had all of elementary school in the 00's with 2013 (extra fact). They graduated after the Sandy Hook shooting and the 2012 apocalypse and never got to vote for Obama in 2012, and had to wait for the 2016 election.
  11. 1993 (give or take late 1992/Class of 2011): Obviously, because it is very early. Key reasons are because they were the first born in the Clinton administration and spent the majority of K-5 during the Bush '43 presidency. They also were the first to spend the majority of their childhood in the 00's, and were the first to start high school after the after the 7th gaming generation came in full swing and the launch of the iPhone. They spent the majority of high school after the 2008 Recession and the 2008 election, and graduated after the death of Osama Bin Laden and when smartphone sales surpassed PC sales.
  12. 1992 (give or take late 1991/Class of 2010): Last, and definitely least, 1992 borns. Obviously, they are the very last because 1992 is way too early to start Gen Z, and would make Gen Y the shortest generation ever. But, there are some possible reasons why. Key reasons are because they spent the majority of elementary school in the 00's, they were born after the collapse of the USSR, they were the oldest in K-5 at the start of the Iraq War, and they graduated high school in the 10's, the transition decade from Y to Z. There is not much I could list for them.
This is my list. Let me know what you think. Should the ranking be adjusted a little? Did I say too much, too little? I thought this would be interesting and different than the same old stuff that is mentioned on these forums, and could be something that could deviate from the toxicity of the sub so far, ahem... the trolls and gatekeepers.
submitted by youngbull316 to generationology [link] [comments]


2020.07.20 13:50 IWantABeautifulWoman Matsumoto movies

Hey guys, I'm new to this sub. First off, I just want to thank all the people who have taken the time to upload videos and create subtitles so we can enjoy this content in the west. And thanks to everyone involved for making this subreddit easy to navigate with links of all content up to date.
I found my way here in a very backwards fashion, starting with LOL Australia (which I loved) and working my way back to the original Last One Laughing and finally Documental 1-3. Once I was introduced to Matsumoto, I quickly fell down the rabbit hole to the no-laughing batsu games and the GnT universe. I've been working my way through all the batsu games chronologically (currently at 2007) so I still have plenty of content to look forward to.
I decided to check out Big Man Japan today and couldn't believe I never saw it before. Then I watched Symbol and was even more blown away (both movies have endings that defy logic). I'm trying to find Matsumoto's other two films, Scabbard Samurai and R100, but all the torrents have dried up. Does anyone happen to have any fresh links? I found this old thread from 2016 but everything was dead. Thanks in advance if you can help.
This is also a complete shot in the dark, but does anyone happen to have the soundtrack to Big Man Japan? Or possibly even the Symbol Ending Theme which doesn't seem to play on MySpace anymore? I'm trying to build up my collection now that I'm completely obsessed with this world.
submitted by IWantABeautifulWoman to GakiNoTsukai [link] [comments]


2020.07.17 21:10 Tohoki Hello! Advice/Words of Encouragement Welcome

Hello, I (27F) have been a long-time lurker and member of this community. I really enjoy reading and relating to many of the stories on here. I wanted to introduce myself and provide a bit of backstory. I'd also like a bit of advice on attempting to entering the dating world with other women.
I grew up and still reside in, a small Southern town in the middle of the "Bible Belt". I did not know a single gay person whilst growing up, nor was it ever presented to be an acceptable option.
Before my view on being gay had been influenced by society, I'd had my first "girlfriend" in Kindergarten. Other than that, I never thought about girls in a romantic way. During childhood and adolescence, being gay was always presented to me as something that was wrong, an illness, an abomination, a sin against God, etc.
So when I gradually realized I had feelings for my (essentially only) best friend in junior high, I confided in one of my online friends. She was under the impression that I was simply impersonating her and cut me off (due to me becoming a t.A.T.u mega-fan thanks to her Myspace page and wanting to learn Russian). So I consulted Yahoo Answers (Google at the time) at the time, to find out if developing feelings for friends was "normal". I was met with "Sure, it's a phase that all teenagers go through." (Aight, cool. I'm "normal" alright
Well cue junior year and said best friend was going to move away. I decided to write an extremely socially awkward letter explaining that I loved her (AS A FRIEND IN A TOTALLY NOT GAY WAY). So she read it, it didn't make a difference, and said she was still leaving, cue sadness and angst, etc. At that point I'd decided that I was just confused and went about my way.
Then I made another best friend at my high school graduation. We were frenemies in 7th grade, and she'd apologized for her behavior. She gave me her number and asked to hangout sometime.
She was the first openly gay person I'd met. So when we met I was all "Omg, you like insert gay music/movie/anime, so do i!". So we became good friends and hung out constantly. She understandably developed a crush. I turned her down as I was 100% clearly not gay, I just like gay things, sorry for the misunderstanding. (My God the self-homophobia and denial can be the worst.)
Well during all this time, I hadn't had the urge or desire to pursue any kind of sexual relationship with a man thus far. However, I was almost 20 years old with years of pent up hormones and the fury of 1000 bad fanfics in my pants.
So I went off to community college and had my first "real" boyfriend. I cannot explain how much of a letdown sex was. Literally my thought was "This is it?" I went from over 9000 to 0 with a quickness.
Granted, I stayed and kept trying thinking it would improve with time. (It did not.) As I had no social life during adolescence, I wasn't given the talk or provided with options for birth control. We ended up with 2 children. After the co-creator of the children had dated around and pursued a 2 year relationship with another girl, we moved back in together, with him promising he'd regretted leaving and wanted "us" to work. Living in one bedroom with the two kids, I was willing to give it a go and improve my life.
In 2016, we moved back in together and I worked while he stayed with the kids. During those years, I stayed loyal and behaved as I would expect my partner to in a monogamous relationship. We were essentially roommates who occasionally went out on dates. When he pestered me enough, I would give in to having disappointing sexual encounters.
So eventually in 2017, enough was enough. Best friend #2 had gotten married and I was able to talk out my feelings with her. Apparently being so unsatisfied isn't normal. (Who knew?) I developed a crush on not one, but two coworkers. (Granted I never acted on either of them, as i find women much more intimidating than men.) Once this happened, I was open and honest with the co-creator of the children.
I bought Hannah Hart's "Buffering" book. I related so deeply to her extremely religious environment, her sexual experiences with men. Then I read the Comp Het document on here and identified with 90% of it. I felt seen and heard. After consulting with my friend and reading, i started a journal to write out my thoughts and experiences and to essentially check this or that "Yep you're gay" box. I showed him said journal and expressed that this was something I wanted to explore.
He responded by feeling betrayed and hurt and went to Reddit to vent. I went and read the comments, and they were horrid. (I'll share the link in the comments below. Please no hate.) But people stated I was wrong for ever having children, I should've figured it out long before (as if the journey to finding one's sexuality is a straight, simple path). After reading these words from strangers, I couldn't imagine how my homophobic family would react. I imagined that the co-creator's family would also consider me even more selfish.
Ultimately I decided that, I'd accept my attraction to women but I wouldn't act on it. It wasn't worth losing my family or potentially my children.
(Also sidenote* I was definitely misrepresented in said post. We were never married. I had no issue with him dating if I could do the same. During our 7 years of time together (and apart) I've always been left with the parenting responsibility while he pursued relationships. I wanted an equal opportunity (alternating weekends) to pursue our own happiness and relationships. He also lied several times and got into an "entanglement " with his married friend not long after this post was made.)
Well the co-creator finally moved out exactly 2 years ago, and he's met a nice girl who he's been with since moving out. (I actually drunkenly told her at Easter that I liked girls. 🤦‍♀️)I've stayed single, oftentimes debating whether or not I should act on my feelings or just "be".
June 2019, I met a male coworker. My life mainly consists of work and home as my parenting relationship with the co-creator is definitely 95/5 at the moment. My coworkers encouraged it. Having no kind of human contact for a year, it was nice to have another friend to go out on dates with or to talk to about adult matters. I can't burden my kids with adult issues that they wouldn't understand, you know? Anywho, I was definitely not having my social needs met on the hierarchy of needs, so I gave it a go.
The sex (as usual) was meh, but I could deal from time to time. Well that didn't work out, and now in hindsight, i was settling for so much. During the relationship, he mentioned marriage. And a thought occured to me... I didn't want to wake up on my deathbed in my 80s (hopefully) and have to ask "What if?". I didn't want to settle, and what kind of example would that teach for my children? I've already wasted almost 30 years of my life not being genuinely happy, could I really do it for the rest of my life?So things fizzled out, and I honestly wouldn't care to ever sleep with a man again.
Recently, I ended up watching "A Secret Love" (If you haven't seen it, go watch. It's beautiful!). I'm not a crier, but I boohooed. It really got to me. I can't imagine having to pretend that the person you love most is a friend or cousin, for 62 years.
I'm finally to the point that, if my family can't accept me for who I am, then they don't deserve to be a part of my life. Perhaps with time, some of them could learn to love and accept me again as my authentic self. I'm finally in a good place where I'm financially independent and no longer sharing my home with the co-creator. This is my safe place where I am free to be myself. (Also I do plan on coming out, but only after I've dated around a bit. I want to be 200% sure, ya know? whispers Because there's like a 2% chance I might totally, not be gay.)
Now after all that rambling, I've got a few questions:
  1. In your experience, have you sensed hesitation from other lesbians to be someone's first experience?
  2. In the brief time that I tried dating apps in 2017, I encountered a lot of women with the preferences for "No kids", has this been a common occurrence for those of you with little ones?
  3. What dating app is the best for meeting other women? I'm definitely not a hookup person, so I'd prefer those that don't set that expectation. I've only briefly tried OkCupid and POF in the past with mixed results. Though on the Play Store I was met with multiple options like: Her, Zoe, Pink Cupid. Are the wlw dating apps better?
  4. How do I get over my fear of women? They're such beautiful creatures and I'm so intimidated. I've never felt that way with men. Every Selfie Sunday, I look at all you beautiful gals and feel like a potato.
  5. Have any of you came out to your extremely religious family? If so, how did it go?
TLDR ; Probably gay, been denying it for too long, help! (Also read with me, the Reddit post that pushed me back in the closet for 3 years. Link Below🙃)
submitted by Tohoki to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2020.07.16 04:06 whynoblank I (34M) kicked my partner (28F) out during lockdown and I’m now fighting to build bridges.

I’ll try keep it brief and to the point. I’m on mobile so apologies for format etc.
TL;DR - Lockdown/Money mental health issue caused me to ask dump partner and ask her to leave, then I fucked someone else and now I want her back.
I met her before Xmas last year and everything seemed perfect. I was the happiest I can remember being, her family and friends all commented on her happiness too. When lockdown was announced in my country we decided to cohabit at my place, after a pretty shit 2019 it was good to find someone who was on a similar level to me, who I enjoyed spending time with and got along with.
A couple of months back I had a pretty serious dip in my mental health, I (like a lot of others right now I guess) have some money issues, I didn’t feel like I could talk to her about them, so bottled them all up. A girl (27F) who I used to speak to on MySpace years ago added me on Facebook around the same time and as a form of escapism, and wanting to feel young and carefree again I started talking to her.
One day while my ex was out running I had what I could only describe as a dissociative episode, we had a very brief argument because I felt she’d interrupted my work (WFH) when she returned and I asked her to leave. She eventually did, but due to being to upset to drive she came back a few hours later to sleep in my spare room and left again the following morning with everything she brought with her.
This lead to me going lower and for the first time meeting the historic girl who turned out to be pretty psycho, we hung a few times and after I ended it knowing where my heart was she started claiming to be pregnant, but she would take care of it. She then claimed to have an abortion a week later trying to get more attention, this was the mid to back end of June.
I’ve now got myself into a bit of a better place, managed to get an agreement with my creditors and get my life a bit more to how it was. I found some of the girl who was living here’s stuff so I messaged her to ask her to collect, I’m moving in a few weeks. She came on Monday and we talked briefly and she left, we ended up texting all Monday night, I told her everything (and more, was really warts and all and is something I’ve never done before, with anyone) and asked her to consider starting again with me, dating.
She’s still pretty cut up, she says at this point in time she’s numb, she feels nothing. I asked if she wanted space and she said no. I’ve sent flowers to her work which she appreciated, and tonight agreed to meet me for food and a drink, but we’ve not set a date as yet.
I do understand that I’ve been a massive arse and broken a whole lot of trust. She believes everything I’ve told her, but still can’t trust me right now.
She was really good to me, even after I left she reached out to my family and asked them to keep an eye on me. I’d expressed a consideration for suicide due to my worries at that point.
Is there anything more I can actually do? I’ve answered every question, even the horrible ones which answers hurt us both in a totally honest way. I don’t want any of this to mess with her head, it’s been 7 weeks since I asked her to go, and she’s not deserved any of it.
I know I can be a better person. I was before all the lockdown shit happened. But how can I show her this? How can I repair the damage I’ve done to her?
submitted by whynoblank to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.07.02 20:24 throwawayhelp122318 A Snark Subreddit Goes the Way of Drama. In Other Words, Leopards Ate My Face.

This was originally posted in HobbyDrama, but I was asked to move it here.
Note: I have written this from a throwaway. The drama has been all over the place, and it’s hard to properly recap without missing things. I am not a frequent participant of this subreddit, though I have been reading it for quite some time. Thus, I have tried to be as impartial as possible. Please comment if anything has been inaccurate or missed, thank you!
Background
Blogging was a medium that rose to prominence in the mid 2000s, pre-dating the Instagram (IG) influencer. It was a de-anonymized source compared to ye olden days of LiveJournal or MySpace (unless your username wasn’t something like xXx_shadow_cat_spork_xXx). Blogs were created on just about every topic you could imagine— fashion, lifestyle, raising children (“mommy blogs”), crafts, home renovation, and a whole other plethora of topics. The first blogs were small and often genuine; bloggers personally took the time to respond to comments and posted about things they actually bought and liked.
However, all good things must come to an end. Around the 2010s, corporate caught onto this new advertising stream and began sponsoring bigger bloggers or niche hobby bloggers. A search around this time along the lines of “[Blog Name] annoying” might bring you to a rather vile site by the name of Get Off My Internets (GOMI), which has a whole lotta drama itself and will not be covered here. GOMI was used to snark on bloggers and other public figures. After many years of alcohol-fuelled bannings and increasingly vicious commentary, I suspect an initial group of GOMI refugees created blogsnark to fulfill the same niche.
Blogsnark is unique in that Reddit— or at least the larger subreddits— generally feels like a very male-dominated sphere. Blogsnark is mostly female, though it seems the subreddit demographics survey of 2020 was never reported after some drama and its subsequent closure by the original mods. The 2018 survey shows that the subreddit is almost 99% female. Many posts are very enlightening about quiet sexism. However, the drama that has unfolded over the past few months shows that women can be just as toxic as men when it comes to things they are very passionate about.
Mods 1.0 Step Down
It seemed that rhetoric on Blogsnark had been going downhill for a while as the subreddit continued to balloon in size. On the Royal Snark thread especially, Megan Markle was a particular target of racial micro aggressions (or outright racism). The mods at the time had preferred to let downvotes be the main method of controlling these, opting not to step in for every post that users believed should be deleted. Things came to a head when the murder of George Floyd and the resurgence of the BLM protests catalyzed the quiet dissatisfaction many users had started to feel. Some users were quick to point out recurring silencing of particular posters who had made themselves known as Black/Indigenous Persons of Colour (BIPOC).
Now, moderating is hard— especially for a community that has been burgeoning quickly. All of a sudden, and with nobody asking, the original mods who had been with the sub from inception penned a letter saying they would be happy to step down immediately. At some point, it was revealed that several words were filtered by automod (like the word "mod", which was apparently used to get the attention of the mod team). However, with some incensed discussion, the mods changed their mind and even apologized, stating they would try harder to include diverse moderators among the group to help ameliorate the issue. A few new interim mods were added. Offshoot subreddits were created.
Aaaand then the original mods immediately reversed their position and flounced, leaving the interim mods to fend off the wolves.
Mods 2.0 Step Down
I interject here to say that there was good write up following the drama up to this point here, where I sourced at least one thread from.
Mods 2.0 appeared to start off strong and stay committed to the pledge for diversity. These mods also acknowledged that they would try their best to moderate hate speech.
However it seems that an anti-racist resource thread was quickly locked with many comments deleted, and faced with intensely charged demands, Mods 2.0 lasted just one weekend.
Mods 3.0 Receive Modship With No Context
After Mods 2.0 flounced, Mods 3.0 quietly received invitations to become mods. When the first mod joined, they noticed a new top mod who had also just been added -- see the chain of comments here. This mysterious top mod was a new account and was marked, ominously, by a trench coat icon. It was and is believed that this puppet mod was an account created by one of the original moderators. Attempts to bring in additional mods faced some drama as well, with one nominated longtime user deleting their account when called out for suspect remarks. An external mod who oversaw many large subreddits was brought in to show the new group the ropes. Mods 3.0 made an appeal to Reddit to remove the silent trench coat mod. Fingers were pointed in the meta thread. Daily meta posts for transparency were added to the subreddit, but was it a little too late?
I admit at this point I mostly stopped following the meta-drama. However, unbeknownst to (probably mostly) everyone, more was still to come.
The Sudden Appearance of Trench Coat Mod
At some point in the last week, blogsnarkmetasnark was created. And 12 hours ago, the top mod, i.e. Trench Coat mod, who had, to this point, not posted in BlogSnark or at all on Reddit, posted a transparency report about Blogsnark, which called out Mods 3.0 for tagging “problematic” users. This had been a point of contention earlier between Mods 2.0 and 3.0, I believe, [comment chain I can’t find] where people, often outspoken BIPOC, were being tagged (some users found these individuals abrasive, while others believed their positions should be heard).
Naturally, this transparency report was crossposted to BlogSnark for greatest popcorn to ensue. One mod attempted to remove the post for promoting another subreddit (or maybe two mods attempted to remove it? It’s hard to tell based on the comments claiming who is doing the removing). But top trench coat mod put their top mod foot down to reinstate the post, to the delights of many snark and drama consumers. The external mod that was invited was then de-modded by trench coat mod.
As of now, this newest drama is still developing, and it begs to be seen if a snarky subreddit makes it out of its own created drama.
submitted by throwawayhelp122318 to SubredditDrama [link] [comments]


2020.06.05 21:13 0verjoyed One small internet crawl about Dan's solo work (and his eventual progression to Bastille)

One small internet crawl about Dan's solo work (and his eventual progression to Bastille)
True Cult members should (more than likely) know about Dan's pre-Bastille solo tracks, so I won't go into too much detail about each one. (And I will die trying to find "Ignoring Messages.") But in my search for that track, I did manage to dig up some cool articles and pages from the past that I don't see people mention much.
We know Dan participated in the 2007 Leeds Bright Young Things (and won, apparently), and that gave him a big boost in attention. The CD compilation for that event provided the elusive tune "Ignoring Messages." See if you can spot Dan in this photo. And in 2009, he played at the Strummerville Summer Sessions (which Bastille played "Icarus" at in 2011). The CD for that gave us the original version of "Daniel In the Den" before it was a Bastille track.
Out there somewhere are actual CD copies of Dan's "biggest singles" ... "Alchemy"/"Words Are Words" were included on a CD single in 2009. Dan was actually signed to the record label Mi7 Records for a bit. You can see an archived webpage from their site with his name on it here. I looked at the archived snapshots of their Soundcloud account to see if perhaps they had ever posted Dan's audio, but no luck.
Here are some reviews talking about the CD:
Launch Party Poster for \"Alchemy\"/\"Words Are Words\"
Here's one of Dan's old Myspace page archived snapshots. You can see the poster above and see some of his friends chatting on his page. What I found interesting was that his old "bandmates" for his solo career were Woody, Sam Edgington, and Verity. The page also has an email address that you could contact Dan at, but the email address no longer exists. (I sent an email to it just to see what would happen and immediately received an automated delivery failure email.) Oddly, though, at one point, it seems as if he was using this Myspace page, but all other archived snapshots of it are for a different Dan Smith. Strange.
Also, the poster for the "Alchemy" release says that it was available on most digital music stores. I wonder if the Wayback archive would produce any results about those and if any other tracks would show up. Hm
This page, which is still available on the web, features a video at the end of the interview. The video has been removed from YouTube, though, and that's going to keep me up at night. What could it possibly have been!
And this page is an archived page about Dan's appearance at the 2007 Leeds BYT showcase. This isn't the same page as the one on the BBC Leeds page, so I thought I'd share.
Of course, before Annie Oakley Hanging was Annie Oakley Hanging, there was Randalph, or Ralph & Dan, or also curiously spelled Randalf at times. Here's one old Myspace page and an up-to-date YouTube playlist of their old songs together. The current "Randalf" Myspace page is actually still available on the web, and the profile pic is a photo of Dan wearing a Kid iD shirt. (That was the old name for TKAK.) The page shows two "Randalf" songs, but they're not playable because for some reason Myspace can't play songs that were uploaded before 2018, I believe. But they are in that YouTube playlist, so you can still listen to them! (I feel as though some people don't know these tunes exist? They're lovely!)
I've contacted several people in hopes of finding "Ignoring Messages" or the "Alchemy"/"Words Are Words" CD and I'm still awaiting responses. (One person did respond about the BYT 2007 compilation CD and they said they don't have it anymore...) I've even contacted other artists that were featured on the compilation to see if they had the CD lying around anywhere. The desperation is high, my friends.
Of course, after all this, Bastille came to be and fans still beg to hear Dan play his solo songs to this day. Sorry this isn't suuuper Cult-related; I just didn't feel comfortable dumping all this on the main sub! I just think it's fun and interesting to dig through old stuff lol
Any thoughts? What's your favorite solo Dan song or Randalph song? I gotta say I love "New Blue Dress" by Dan & Ralph because some of the lyrics are later referenced in "Durban Skies" :)
Dan in 2009
submitted by 0verjoyed to BastilleCult [link] [comments]


2020.06.04 19:22 chemistryguy2020 Just a regular post. Don't mind me. (Testing testing) [wow your post MUST have Flair!! lol]

Hey all,
I'm super noob to reddit, and I wanted to make a post so here it goes. My name's Rob. I haven't found Reddit super supportive; I previously made a post about dissatisfaction with the samsung active 2 watch and reddit immediately deleted it. So I'll try again, just sharing my thoughts this time. I used to use livejournal before Myspace and Facebook. Not trying to date myself, just giving context for why I dont have a cool meme, dance or musical accompaniment. (Availavle upon request)
This time my post is about being a single lonly white man and the journey of looking for love, having fun and trying to make the world a better place: (Que the blink 182 🏂 lol or Keb Mo"s blues for real 💪)
I'm moderately attractive 34yo, 5'9", 150lbs, skinny, longer blonde hair not totally symmetrical face lol but not aweful, lots of moles (or Beauty Mark's if you will). I smoke a lot, like a pack a day, or less. I'm a newly appointed Engineer, I've been a Chem Tech and then a Chemist for ~10 years. Engineering pays more so I'm doing material analysis. oh and a volunteer firefighter in a small town in upstate NY.
Anywho, lovelife story. in highschool I had my first round of girlfriends from passing paper notes to learning about sex together. I think maybe 5-10 highschool girlfriends. I think It was pretty average but idk. I had some serious heart break in college, where at the time, girls just seemed to only want sex. They weren't interested in being tied down. There seemed to be a lot of drama and girls seemed to cheat a lot in college (on me, with me, on eachother ect ect). but I learned not to cry about it, and to just move on. Also, paid a lot more attention to who was already in a relationship. After college, I was in two 4 year long term relationships almost married both of them. Love was awesome. Joint projects, sex everynight. Couples p as tries and activities. There was some whining, some of me paying for too much, some of me being an asshole or a bitch, some nm jealousy. But honestly I'd take all that for the fun parts. Anywho, The first lady had cheated on me while I was overseas. It really hurt and I flipped my life upside down. I had to learn to be "a dick", a "badboy" Less empathetic and develop a backbone. My second relationship I ended because she got into H.ard drugs. I wouldn't risk staying with someone who was willing to risk our health or sink us financially (at this time almost 30yo). For the past 4 years I've just been dating, clubbing it, connecting with old GFs over Facebook. I took on a lot of hobbies (open mic, firefighting) and dug out my skateboard. Considering a motor cycle lol. But I'm happy, and I love myself and my family and friends. I have a lot of female energy in my life bc of my neighbors, my mom, my coworkers, cousins but I cant seem to find love again. I really miss it. As far as hookups, yeah it happens.. I've been in a few short term relationships when the other person was willing to give it a shot. In one story a girl broke up with me because I wouldn't come over one night ( her mom's dog had died and she was just looking for comfort, I don't remember why I didnt go that night, but I do know we were both loosing interest) another recent GF was bulimic and 34 and still living with her parents, she just didnt seem to want to grow up was very religious and idk seemed like we were at two different places in life. I may be to judgmental about the bulimia, I'm a very heavy smoker. But she absolutely didnt love herself, and therefore idk that she could ever love me. So these days dating apps.. I get 2 or 3 matches a month I swear and they hardly ever reply. I had a stint in 2017 where girls dated me more often and I thought it was a lot of fun. Dinners did get expensive, but sometimes we got romantic. I think there I learned that I will have to accept flaws, and you can learn to love someone inspite of their oddities or differences. But gosh.. 34 almost 35... really hoping the love of my life will show up, or one of those female friends and I will take life in a closer direction.
I apologize for my post if it doesn't belong here. I hope you wont just delete it or flag it as offensive. But I guess I totally understand, the world's on fire and this isn't super pertinent. But if you feel like leaving a comment or something that'd be cool by me. Peace ya'll "Work hard and be nice to people" - Michael Franti and Spearhead
submitted by chemistryguy2020 to dating [link] [comments]


2020.06.04 19:20 chemistryguy2020 Lonley hearts club band.. single man posting (pls dont delete just bc you feel like it)

Hey all,
I'm super noob to reddit, and I wanted to make a post so here it goes. My name's Rob. I haven't found Reddit super supportive; I previously made a post about dissatisfaction with the samsung active 2 watch and reddit immediately deleted it. So I'll try again, just sharing my thoughts this time. I used to use livejournal before Myspace and Facebook. Not trying to date myself, just giving context for why I dont have a cool meme, dance or musical accompaniment. (Availavle upon request)
This time my post is about being a single lonly white man and the journey of looking for love, having fun and trying to make the world a better place: (Que the blink 182 🏂 lol or Keb Mo"s blues for real 💪)
I'm moderately attractive 34yo, 5'9", 150lbs, skinny, longer blonde hair not totally symmetrical face lol but not aweful, lots of moles (or Beauty Mark's if you will). I smoke a lot, like a pack a day, or less. I'm a newly appointed Engineer, I've been a Chem Tech and then a Chemist for ~10 years. Engineering pays more so I'm doing material analysis. oh and a volunteer firefighter in a small town in upstate NY.
Anywho, lovelife story. in highschool I had my first round of girlfriends from passing paper notes to learning about sex together. I think maybe 5-10 highschool girlfriends. I think It was pretty average but idk. I had some serious heart break in college, where at the time, girls just seemed to only want sex. They weren't interested in being tied down. There seemed to be a lot of drama and girls seemed to cheat a lot in college (on me, with me, on eachother ect ect). but I learned not to cry about it, and to just move on. Also, paid a lot more attention to who was already in a relationship. After college, I was in two 4 year long term relationships almost married both of them. Love was awesome. Joint projects, sex everynight. Couples p as tries and activities. There was some whining, some of me paying for too much, some of me being an asshole or a bitch, some nm jealousy. But honestly I'd take all that for the fun parts. Anywho, The first lady had cheated on me while I was overseas. It really hurt and I flipped my life upside down. I had to learn to be "a dick", a "badboy" Less empathetic and develop a backbone. My second relationship I ended because she got into H.ard drugs. I wouldn't risk staying with someone who was willing to risk our health or sink us financially (at this time almost 30yo). For the past 4 years I've just been dating, clubbing it, connecting with old GFs over Facebook. I took on a lot of hobbies (open mic, firefighting) and dug out my skateboard. Considering a motor cycle lol. But I'm happy, and I love myself and my family and friends. I have a lot of female energy in my life bc of my neighbors, my mom, my coworkers, cousins but I cant seem to find love again. I really miss it. As far as hookups, yeah it happens.. I've been in a few short term relationships when the other person was willing to give it a shot. In one story a girl broke up with me because I wouldn't come over one night ( her mom's dog had died and she was just looking for comfort, I don't remember why I didnt go that night, but I do know we were both loosing interest) another recent GF was bulimic and 34 and still living with her parents, she just didnt seem to want to grow up was very religious and idk seemed like we were at two different places in life. I may be to judgmental about the bulimia, I'm a very heavy smoker. But she absolutely didnt love herself, and therefore idk that she could ever love me. So these days dating apps.. I get 2 or 3 matches a month I swear and they hardly ever reply. I had a stint in 2017 where girls dated me more often and I thought it was a lot of fun. Dinners did get expensive, but sometimes we got romantic. I think there I learned that I will have to accept flaws, and you can learn to love someone inspite of their oddities or differences. But gosh.. 34 almost 35... really hoping the love of my life will show up, or one of those female friends and I will take life in a closer direction.
I apologize for my post if it doesn't belong here. I hope you wont just delete it or flag it as offensive. But I guess I totally understand, the world's on fire and this isn't super pertinent. But if you feel like leaving a comment or something that'd be cool by me. Peace ya'll "Work hard and be nice to people" - Michael Franti and Spearhead
submitted by chemistryguy2020 to single [link] [comments]


2020.05.29 00:16 Paesh321 I was online friends with a potential murderer

When I was 14-15 back in the early 2000s, I was incredibly socially awkward and didn’t have any friends/was bullied a lot at school. Internet chatrooms and AIM messenger were in their heyday, so I’d spend literally all night chatting with strangers in chatrooms. One chatroom I frequented daily was specifically for teenagers. I think it was literally called “teen chat”. It was probably full of just as many adult pervs as it was teens. I knew not to give out my personal info and didn’t have a digital camera or photo scanner to show people pictures of myself, so I felt relatively safe.
After a few months of chatting with the regulars in this group, I came to view them as my “friend group”. They filled the void I had in reality. We followed each other on livejournal and xanga, and later myspace in addition to talking in the chatroom. One day, a guy joined the chatroom and became a regular. He was in his early 20s, but no one really cared. I don’t even remember his screenname. He had several, mostly involving wolves or dragons or knights. Called females “m’lady”, collected swords, obsessed with anime. He was one of those dudes. Full-on neckbeard who was probably on the spectrum. I remember that he lived in upstate New York, several thousand miles from me.
He took an immediate liking to me because I actually talked to him instead of ignoring him like most people. I didn’t particularly like him, I was just also so starved for attention that I couldn’t stop talking to him. We exchanged AIM screen names and began talking for hours on AIM every other weekend because his parents had joint custody of him and he only had internet access at his dad’s house. I listened to him ramble about neckbeard shit that I couldn’t relate to, but enjoyed the attention. The whole time I was pretending to be an attractive blonde girl. I even stole pictures from some random girl’s social media and told him it was me. This was shitty of me, I know, but I was 15 with very low self esteem and knew we’d never meet in real life.
He wanted to be in an e-relationship with me but I declined, saying that I had a bf. I didn’t, but I didn’t know how to reject his advances. I was not healthy emotionally or socially. I even produced pictures of my so-called bf. When that didn’t work and he started making snide comments about my bf not being a real man and joking that he should challenge him to a sword fight (cringe), I threw in that I was accidentally pregnant by him and keeping the baby. I added so many layers to my story to scare this dude off when I should’ve just blocked him. Again, I lacked the skills to properly handle social situations, even online ones, and I was still getting attention even if it wasn’t a healthy form of attention.
After about a year of keeping up my online ruse and chatting with this dude, he started talking more and more about how his father favored his 8 yo half brother much more than him and said he was planning to kill his half brother. He also talked about going on a mass shooting because people bullied him and no one would date him or give him a job and he was very overweight. I freaked out and finally blocked him. I couldn’t handle him anymore. I was so scared for his brother and did not know what to do. I didn’t have any adults to confide in (my parents were extremely neglectful of me). I should have called the police in his city and told them all the stuff he’d said, but I didn’t. I wish I had. I just blocked him and went on with my life.
I still google him and look him up on Facebook sometimes to see how he’s doing and to make sure he hasn’t hurt anyone. He hasn’t and his little brother is an adult now. He’s still stuck in the same loop of being a loser with no job though. Still fixated on the same things. Reading his posts now, it’s very clear that he is mentally challenged. I feel awful now for pretending to be someone else online and leading this dude on in a false friendship just because I was so incredibly bored and attention starved. I did begin therapy in my late teens and get some help/started meds for depression. I was able to turn my life around on my own. But crazy Mike, let’s never meet.
submitted by Paesh321 to creepyencounters [link] [comments]


2020.05.23 00:40 RaptorJudy Random Date Leads To Changed Sleeping Position

I've been watching this subreddit for a while now and recently this memory came to mind. I checked the rules so this should fit but please let me know if I'm wrong.
So this happened about 14 years ago, I was 21 (brand new), and it was the days of MySpace. I never use my real name online and was in the mode of constantly posting pictures of me smoking, etc, so, yea. I happened to work at a local sandwich shop, and upon taking an order from a customer, I hear "Hey, aren't you *enter MySpace Name*?" To which I asked why, of course, and he proceeded to tell me his MySpace name and I realize we have randomly commented on mutual friends pages. Ok. Whatever. He and his friend sit in the dining area and eat their lunch, but before leaving he came back to the counter. I thought he wanted a refill on his drink so I went to the counter to ask him what he would like. "Would you like to get drinks with me sometime?" I was a little surprised but fresh out of a bad breakup and was ready to date so I said sure, why not? I told him to msg me online later and we could work it out.
Cut to two days later, it's Friday, and he picks me up and we head to a bar across town. I had known this bar was there forever as I grew up there, but had never been inside. Wow. We were the youngest ones there by about 30 years and there were literally only about 10 people total inside, including us and the bartender. Weird. Whatever. We have a few drinks, play some pool, and it's time to leave. I kept my pace and only had two cocktails because I didn't want to get drunk with someone I didn't know. He, unbeknownst to me, was about to be pretty tossed. So we leave, and not wanting to go home, I agreed to go to his house and hang out some more. He lived with his grandmother at the time, and had a pool table. We wander the house for a bit, him showing me random pics of him growing up, awards won, etc. We play a game and I let him know I need to be getting home. I lived about 20 minutes away by car. He says he's too drunk to drive and that I should stay. Ummm, what? No!
Now, I lived with my mom and we didn't always see eye to eye, so calling her at 2-3 am and waking her up to ask for a ride was not in my list of plans. I told him fine, I would walk. It would have taken me over an hour to walk home but I was not about to sleep at this guys house and would have rather taken my chances. The route home didn't go through any bad areas and I had been a pedestrian for years at that point so I was used to walking everywhere and was fine with it. All of a sudden, he can drive and doesn't want me walking home alone. Again, whatever.
We get to my house and I thank him for the ride and now he tells me he is too drunk to drive and can't drive home. Fuck. If I let this guy drive home and he really is drunk and gets into an accident and hurts himself or anyone else I would feel terribly guilty (before you shame me I know now that yes, I should have thought about that before he drove me home and should have just walked. I wish I had). The place my mom and I lived in was three stories and I had the whole bottom floor to myself and a makeshift living room with couches so I figured fuck it, sleep it off on the couch and go home in the morning. By now I had already decided this was going to be the only date we ever went on. Not because of the whole driving situation, but I just wasn't into him. He proceeds to lay on my bed the minute I let him inside like some stray dog or something, so being tired and annoyed and just basically over it I said fine, I'll sleep on the couch.
Well, I don't know how long I was asleep, or how the hell he even stayed awake, because it took me forever to fall asleep knowing he was there and this was all just too weird. I wake up to this guys hands around my throat. Well, kinda woke up. I remember laying there with my eyes closed and my mind thinking WTF? So I pretended to roll over to basically let him know I wasn't unconscious, and he stopped. 20 minutes later, same thing. This time I sat up, pushed him away, and started yelling at him "What the fuck are you doing?! Get the fuck out, NOW!" And the strangest thing was it was like he wasn't fully there. His eyes were open but it's like he was in a trance and wasn't even fully aware of what was happening. I grabbed his keys and wallet off the table, opened the door, shoved him outside, threw his keys and wallet at him, and slammed the door.
He never knocked or anything, and I kept the lights off so he couldn't see me watching him through the window, phone in hand ready to call 911 (my mom was 2 floors above asleep). He kind of staggered off where I couldn't see him, so I just sat on my bed listening. 30 Minutes later I heard his car start and drive off. I logged onto MySpace right away, blocked him, and blocked his number in my phone. I showed my boss his picture the next day, explained the situation, and just let him know that if I ever saw him walk in again, that I was walking to the back until he left, and to just tell him I quit. Never heard from him again.
To this day I can't sleep on my back. I sleep on my side, and both arms are always curled up in front of me with my hands tucked under my chin. Blankets too. I'm 35 now, and this has never changed. I've been w/ my SO for 13 years and once I explained why I slept like that he stopped asking and is used to it.
Note: Yes, I should have seen SO MANY red flags, but I was young, stupid, and trying to "rebell" against my ex by dating. Stupid stupid stupid. Please don't tell me all the things I should have done because I've had 14 years of telling myself. I know.
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2020.05.05 02:07 displeasedtrashpanda The Dahvie Vanity Investigation Timeline (2006-Present)

Due to the ever expanding investigation and Reddits character limit, this post is now Part 1 of a two part report. Part 1 covers 2006-2012 and Part 2, which can be found here, covers 2013-Present.
Welcome everyone to DahvieVanityisaPEDO! The mods have noticed an influx of traffic to the sub and have decided to put together this two part report to gather all the case information, evidence and testimonies into one place. Our objective is to ensure everyone can keep track of the investigation and the voices of the survivors are being heard. It's important to us that they know we are listening and we believe them wholeheartedly.
For those of you who have recently been introduced to this investigation and do not know who Dahvie Vanity is. Vice published an article, Who the Hell Is Dahvie Vanity?, which states, "Dahvie Vanity was a founding member of the group Blood on the Dance Floor, after becoming popular on MySpace as "The Elite Hair God". Blood on the Dance Floor's bold look, spiky and colorful hair, electropop "crunkcore" sound, Warped Tour appearances, and affiliation with Jeffree Star made them synonymous with scene culture in the early 2010s.”
Another one of the moderators made this post, Info About Dahvie Vanity - List of Aliases, Albums, Band Names, Songs, etc which is very informative and will assist you in identifying Torres online.
Articles That Brought Dahvie’s Crimes into The Public Sphere
  1. 13/3/2015: Cuepoint, Warped Behavior: Sexual Violence on Tour
  2. 1/8/2018: Metalsucks, Blood on the Dance Floor's Dahvie Vanity Accused of Sexually Assaulting Multiple Women, Many While They Were Underage
  3. 18/12/2018: The Huffington Post, Scene Singer Dahvie Vanity Is A Rapist Who Preys On Minors, A Dozen Women Say
  4. 5/5/2019: The Huffington Post, Dahvie Vanity Raped A Child. Police Gave Him A Warning. Now 21 Women Accuse Him Of Sexual Assault
Repercussions of Dahvie’s Predatory Behaviour Becoming Known
  1. 25/7/2014: Metalsucks, Combichrist Boot Blood on the Dance Floor Off Tour for Alleged Pedophilia Past
  2. 18/12/2018: Altpress, Big Cartel Drops Dahvie Vanity Store After More Sexual Assault Allegations
  3. 23/4/2019: Altpress, Spotify Removes BOTDF After Dahvie Vanity Sexual Assault Allegations
Survivors of Sexual Violence
  1. 2006, Orlando, Florida: Kristen Gonzalez (15) was invited to Torres’s apartment under the guise of styling her hair. She was forced to perform oral sex. (Source: HuffPost, 2019)
  2. 2006, Spring Hill, Florida: Priscilla Hendry (15) met Torres through Myspace where he invited her to the cinema. When she did not have the money for both their tickets he grew angry and drove her home. On the way there he pulled over, attempted to kiss her and “shoved her face into his crotch so forcefully that he ripped out her hair extensions”. Despite her pleas for him to stop, Torres forced her to perform oral sex. (Source: HuffPost, 2018)
  3. 2006, Orlando, Florida: Mal Levy Interview Anonymous Survivor (14) met Torres through Myspace. He would make out with and touch her sexually in the Trade Secrets salon in the Orlando Fashion Square mall where he worked. He invited her to his home (where she also met his mother) and attempted to sexually assault her. Upon realising she was on her period he stopped. (Source: Mal Levy's Repzilla Interview, 2020)
  4. 2006, Tampa, Florida: Liz Glitters (13) was contacted by Torres on Myspace where he offered to style her hair. They arranged to meet to go to the cinema. When Liz’s friend recognised Torres, she warned her not to go anywhere alone with him as she had heard rumours circulating about his predatory behaviour. During the film he repeatedly attempted to kiss her and place her hand on his penis. Afterwards it was dark outside and as he had parked at the back of the lot, she found herself completely isolated with Torres. In the car he demanded oral sex. When she resisted, he grew agitated and alluded to the fact that he had not driven two hours to Tampa for nothing. He then aggressively forced her to perform oral sex. Two weeks later he contacted her again after discovering she was having a party for her 14th birthday. He asked if it would be a girls-only slumber party. When she informed him that it was a mixed gender event, he lost interest. (Source: Repzilla Interview, 2020)
  5. 2007, Pinellas County, Florida: Dianna Farrell (14) met Torres through Myspace where he offered to dye and cut her hair. When Torres arrived at her home he was left alone with the child when her mother went to work. He forced her to perform oral sex. Eight days later Farrell phoned a radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, seeking support and a studio employee notified the police. When detectives spoke to Torres on the phone, he denied knowing she was underage. Dianna’s mother agreed to drop the charges if Torres stayed away from her daughter. The PD closed the case even though “ignorance of the victims age is not an admissible defense under Florida law”. (Source: HuffPost, 2019)
  6. 2007/2008, Orlando, Florida: Mal Levy (14/15) met Torres through Myspace where they exchanged phone numbers. Torres quickly turned their conversations sexual. When she travelled to Orlando to visit him she was given a drink which she believes was spiked. Torres proceeded to aggressively force her to perform oral sex. In 2009, at 17, she attended a BOTDF show in LA where Torres asked her to join them on tour as a merch girl. Whilst on this tour Mal witnessed Torres acting inappropriately with underage fans, attempting to groom their parents, discussing sexual content on stage, groping and making out with a 13 year old fan and caught him in their hotel room with an underage girl whilst in the middle of receiving oral sex. Torres began bullying her and making cruel jokes at her expense before subsequently firing her. She was not credited for her contribution to their song 'Sexting'. (Sources: Chris Hansen Interview and Repzilla Interview, 2020)
  7. 2009, Florida: Ashlee Lillie (13) met Torres at a show in 2008 where her mother approached BOTDF’s manager Rebecca Fugate asking how Ashlee could mingle with the band. Rebecca told her that Torres was a hair stylist and offered to put her in contact with him. Torres subsequently added Ashlee on Myspace. In Feb/March 2009 he arrived at Ashlee’s home to style her and her 14 year old friends’ hair. He snuck alcohol to the girls and when her mother went to bed Torres entered the girl’s bedroom. He began questioning their sexualities, encouraged them to make out and joined in. Later in the night he put her hand on his exposed penis. When she recoiled he became enraged. In May he invited her to the cinema and afterwards, he parked his car in an isolated area of the parking lot and attempted to force her to perform oral sex. When she refused, he grew angry and erratically drove her home. He pulled over near her home and forced her to perform oral sex. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview and Repzilla Interview, 2020)
  8. 2009, Florida: Damien Leonhardt (10), also known as Jessi Slaughter, added Torres on Myspace and met him soon afterwards at a BOTDF show. Torres began grooming them. Damien told Repzilla that they attended a BBQ at Torres’s parents’ home where they were forced to perform oral sex in the bathroom. Damien also told Repzilla that both Jayy Von Monroe and Jeffree Star witnessed them in the company of Torres at 11 years old. In 2010 a school friend exposed their relationship with Torres on Stickydrama. They retaliated by uploading the “I’ll pop a glock in your mouth and make a brain slushie” YouTube video. Torres was alerted to the situation and publicly denounced Damien as a liar who had underlying mental health problems. Damien then uploaded the “You done goofed” video with her father who was enraged by the bullying. Torres responded by making a parody YouTube video of this with Jayy. He then sent his fan base, the "Slash Gash Terror Crew", to dox Damien. On Damien’s 12th birthday BOTDF released their song “You Done Goofed” which included lyrics such as, “My name and reputation won’t be the target of a slut” and Damien subsequently attempted suicide the same day. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview, Repzilla Interview 1, Repzilla Interview 2, 2020)
  9. 2009, Centennial, Colorado: Ariel (16) met Torres at a BOTDF show where he signed her breasts, led her to his car, drove her to a semi-isolated parking lot and began aggressively kissing and groping her. He became angry when he placed her hand on his penis and she recoiled. He took her back to the venue. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
  10. 2009, Centennial, Colorado: Torein (17) met Torres shortly after his interaction with Ariel. He asked her to go outside and led her to a secluded area. He forced her to her knees and ejaculated on her face. She stated that the encounter was over within 45 seconds, before she had time to process what was happening. Torres told her, “That was so good baby girl, you made me feel so good”. She went back to the venue, cleaned herself up and alerted the venue staff. Torres was arrested for this assault but as she had already cleaned herself off no evidence could be obtained at the hospital and Centennial PD dropped the charges. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
  11. 2010, Brevard County, Florida: Patricia (15) spent time with Torres on several occasions and on at least one of these, was forced to perform oral sex. She stated, “He made it all seem so normal, and even came to see me twice more after [he assaulted me]… I was a confused kid desperate for attention and had misplaced feelings for a predator… He made me feel special.” (Source: HuffPost, 2019)
  12. 2010, New York City: Kay (15) met Torres at a BOTDF show where they exchanged phone numbers. They communicated for several months before Torres invited her and her mother to his home in Florida. During their stay Kay stated, “He just grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the ground” before forcing her to perform oral sex. In Summer 2011 at 16, Torres invited her to join the band at Warped Tour. Whilst she was alone on the tour bus Torres approached her and exposed his genitals. He stated, “You know why I brought you here. You’re gonna give me head, or you’re getting the fuck off the bus”. When she refused, he hit her in the face. (Source: HuffPost, 2019)
  13. 2010, Vancouver, Canada: Justine (16) attended a BOTDF show where Torres groped her breasts. (Source: HuffPost, 2019)
  14. 2010, Arizona: HuffPost Anonymous Survivor One (15) was invited by Torres to a party at his home where he demanded she perform oral sex, but on that occasion she managed to flee. After this they hung out a dozen more times. She eventually submitted to his demands for oral sex whilst she was still 15 and their sexual relationship lasted for a year. Torres eventually convinced her to have sex with him after months of grooming. He handed her emergency contraception and watched whilst she swallowed it in front of him. (Source: HuffPost, 2018)
  15. 2010, Ohio: Katie (18) met Torres at a BOTDF show at 16 where they exchanged phone numbers. The messages quickly turned sexual and she was groomed until she turned 18 when Torres then wanted to evolve their relationship to a physical one. In 2010 Torres paid for her to fly to Florida where they planned to visit the Walt Disney theme parks. During this visit Torres spiked Katie’s drink and filmed the ‘X Times 3’ video which was subsequently uploaded to YouTube. After it was filmed, he led her to his walk-in closet, pinned her to the ground by her throat, choked her, threatened to kill her and raped her. She was forced to stay with him for 1.5-2 months until her mother demanded Torres send her home to Ohio or she would phone the police. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
  16. 2011, Norfolk, Virginia: Emerald Poor (18) met Torres unexpectedly at a local mall before a BOTDF gig she had been planning to attend. After the show Torres gave her his phone number. In November, Emerald made plans to meet Torres at his Holiday Inn room so they could go for breakfast together. When he opened the hotel room door he grabbed her by the throat and dragged her into the bathroom where he raped her. He forced her to watch the assault in the mirror. He then raped her a second time in the bedroom. (Source: HuffPost, 2018)
  17. 2011, Columbus, Ohio: Ellie (12) met Torres at a BOTDF show with her mother who had been friends with him on Myspace since 2009. Her mother took her to the band’s hotel for an after party and left her alone with Torres whilst she went to score drugs. Torres offered Ellie a $60 BOTDF jacket in exchange for oral sex, stating her mother would not find out. The child obliged. Afterwards, Torres added her on Myspace and communicated with her via phone for a year. In 2012 Ellie attended Warped Tour in Cincinnati alone. She met with Torres who led her to his tour bus. There he exposed her breasts, poured Monster energy drink over them to lick off and forced her to perform oral sex on him. She stopped communicating with him after this and he released the ‘Bad Blood’ album on her 14th birthday which she believes was targeted at her. (Source: Pastel Belle Interview, 2020)
  18. 2012, Cleveland, Ohio: Kate Offutt (16) attended a BOTDF show where she was molested by Torres after previously defending him vocally online against sexual abuse accusations. She stated, “There are so many people I’ve attacked on his behalf… After seeing so many testimonies you would think maybe these people aren’t lying, maybe there is something behind this, but unfortunately I put myself in denial ... I tried to believe for the longest time that he was innocent… Then it happened to me.” (Source: HuffPost, 2019)
  19. 2012, St Louis, Missouri: Sam (18) attended a BOTDF show and was invited by Torres onto the bands tour bus. She was forced to perform oral sex and during the assault she had an asthma attack. Torres “joked how his penis could have choked her to death”. (Source: HuffPost, 2019)
  20. 2012, Houston, Texas: Tye Burns (16) met Torres at the Cheesecake Factory in the Galleria Mall after communicating online. He referred to her during this meeting as “my little school girl”. Afterwards, he led her to his SUV which was parked in the malls underground parking lot. When they got into the car he forced her face into his crotch and groped her. In May Torres invited Tye, her mother and her brother to stay at his home in Arizona for a week. Tye’s mother trusted Torres as he had previously paid to get her car out of impound and offered to reimburse her for the 23 hour drive to his home (he didn't). Tye stated that during this visit he expected oral sex twice a day and that, “He would never ask my permission, just take me somewhere where we were alone and grab my head and push me down like a dog”. Jayy Von Monroe told the Huffington Post that he had seen Tye at the property with Torres, who passed her off as a family friend. (Source: Metalsucks, 2018 and HuffPost, 2018)
  21. 2012, Location Unknown: Shae (14) attended a BOTDF meet and greet where Torres groped her breasts. A couple of years later she attended another show on the ‘Bitchcraft’ tour where Torres approached her mother at the bar during the band’s performance of ‘Call Me Master’. He poured a drink over her, groped her and attempted to make out with her whilst she attempted to push him away. (Source: Metalsucks, 2018)
  22. 2012, Chandler, Arizona: Jenny (17) met Torres and arranged to go on a date. He forced her to perform oral sex. Torres convinced her to drop out of high school to come on tour with BOTDF. They dated for a year before she left him due to his serial cheating. (Source: HuffPost, 2018)
  23. 2012, Tulsa, Oklahoma: HuffPost Anonymous Survivor Two was groped by Torres at a BOTDF meet and greet. She requested to remain anonymous stating that Torres “has been known to stalk and harass his victims”. (Source: HuffPost, 2018)
  24. 2012, Boise, Idaho: Tiffany Galvez (17) went to dinner with Torres and a group of their friends. Afterwards, Torres invited them to his tour bus to “play with his hair”. He isolated Tiffany in the bathroom, pushed her against the wall and demanded oral sex stating, “So are you gonna S my D or what?” (referencing the 2008 BOTDF song). Her boyfriend arrived at that moment and Torres backed off. In the weeks following this incident Tiffany received numerous texts from Torres which were subsequently leaked online. One states, “I’m going to gag your little teenage mouth with my hard cock and fuck you till you cum all over me”. (Source: HuffPost, 2018)
  25. 2012, Boise, Idaho: Kyla Jorgensen (17) was with the previous survivor Tiffany Galvez. After Torres had attempted to assault Tiffany, he proceeded to isolate Kyla and groped her breasts. Both girls left before the situation escalated. (Source: HuffPost, 2018)
  26. 2012, Scottsdale, Arizona: Breanna Johnson (15), who also spoke with Metalsucks under the pseudonym ‘Alice’, met Torres at a BOTDF meet and greet where they exchanged phone numbers. She subsequently attended an after party at the bands home in Arizona where she was sexually assaulted on three separate occasions, including forced oral sex and rape. Torres promised her that he would have her families water supply turned back on in exchange for sex, promised her a position on tour as a merch girl and offered to be her first interview as a music journalist. (Source: Metalsucks, 2018 and Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
  27. 2012, London, England: Kerry Louise (19) was attending Warped Tour when she tweeted that she’d been waiting in the cold for some time. Torres DM'd her offering VIP passes. When she arrived at BOTDF’s tour bus Torres demanded she go to his private quarters. Once isolated he became aggressive and raped her whilst filming it on his phone. Torres invited Kerry to join them on the remainder of their Warped Tour shows and subsequently their 2013 European tour. Whilst in Paris in 2013, Torres spiked Kerry’s drink and forced her into a threesome with a fan. Torres flew Kerry to San Diego to work on the bands 2014 album ‘Bitchcraft’. Whilst in the US she was forced to perform sex acts on Torres. On one occasion, at Bar Sinister in Hollywood, Torres grew enraged that she was spending time with another guy. He stormed out of the bar and began verbally and physically assaulting Kerry, telling her that she was a “worthless, disgusting slut”. This YouTube video captured the end of a fight that night after a couple attempted to protect Kerry from Torres. When she left the US she ceased contact with BOTDF. She was not financially compensated fully any of her tour appearances. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
  28. 2012, UK: An anonymous woman contacted Kerry Louise and told her that she had been sexually assaulted by Torres at his hotel during BOTDF’s UK tour. (Source: Kerrys Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
  29. 2012, Kentucky: Tesah Jordin (16) was contacted by Torres on Twitter after tweeting about not being allowed to attend a BOTDF show. Torres phoned her later that same day and offered her concert tickets in exchange for an “oral report”. Tesah was groomed and manipulated by Torres until her 18th birthday when they met in person. She was coerced into having sex after previously refusing. Tesah dated Torres on and off for two years. In this time she witnessed him groping underage fans and bringing young girls to their hotel. She claims that Torres admitted to her that he is only attracted to younger girls. Tesah was also exploited financially after BOTDF separated and he was struggling with debt. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
Survivors of Grooming, Predatory/Inappropriate and Abusive Behaviours
  1. 2006, Florida: Jesse (17) met Torres through Myspace. He then contacted her through AOL messenger offering to style her hair in exchange for oral sex. When she refused he attempted to manipulate her. She blocked him on messenger and Myspace. (Source: Repzilla Interview, 2020)
  2. 2008, Location Unknown, US: Noa (11) met Torres via Myspace where he provided her with his Skype information, and began grooming her. He quickly became sexually explicit during their calls which culminated in him masturbating whilst on video. He explained that he couldn’t help himself as she was wearing a tank top and he could see her chest. Noa told him that she didn’t like what he had done but he became enraged and attempted to manipulate her. He claimed that if she liked him, she would allow him to do it. His demands of her during these calls gradually worsened. He asked her to expose her breasts, to put her fingers or objects down her throat until she gagged, to refer to him as “daddy” and to expose her genitals whilst touching herself. She expressed that she felt ashamed and deeply uncomfortable but obeyed him as she was living in an abusive household and desperately yearned friendship. Torres promised that he would save her from her mother. The final time they spoke, he informed her that he was done with her as grooming and coaching her to perform for him was proving to be too difficult. He threatened to send her family screenshots of her exposing herself on camera if she told anyone about him. He told her she wouldn’t be believed, and her family would be disgusted by her. He then blocked her. She attempted suicide for the first time 1-2 days later. (Source: Repzila Interview, 2020)
  3. 2009, Orlando, Florida: Jayy Von Monroe (16) met Torres in 2007 at a show, after being introduced to him via Myspace. On Jayys 18th birthday, in 2009, Torres called and asked him to join BOTDF after firing his other band member, Garrett Ecstasy. He began touring with Torres one month later and quickly learnt that he was aggressive, impatient and short tempered. Jayy explained that he had been groomed by Torres and was subsequently mentally, emotionally and financially abused. Jayy officially left BOTDF in 2016 after being diagnosed with HIV but still being forced to go on tour by Torres who was struggling financially. He appeared on Dragula in 2017 under his drag name 'Dahli' where he discussed why he left BOTDF. (Source: HuffPost, 2018 and Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
  4. 2010, Various Locations, US: Ash Costello (25), the lead singer of New Years Day, was victimised by Torres during two tours. On the 2010 “All The Rage!” tour, he pinned her against a wall and drew over her face in Sharpie, burst into her dressing room and began firing a super soaker in her face (ruining her makeup) and on Halloween night Torres assaulted Ash. She was getting changed when she heard strange noises, before noticing Torres standing in the shadows wearing a cloak and animal mask. She initially thought it was a joke until he lunged forwards, pinned her to the ground and began choking her. She was terrified and believed he was going to kill her. Her band members heard the commotion and saved her. NYD were pressured by their management to not file a police report and to stay silent. On the 2013 “The Scene is Dead” tour, NYD witnessed minors hanging around backstage and at BOTDFs tour bus, mums actively searching for their young daughters and frequent violent outbursts including an incident where he smashed the lighting guys laptop. At the beginning of the tour, Ash would join Torres on stage to perform alongside him. He would belittle her and even stated on stage that “you have to suck my dick if you want to make it in Hollywood”. Ash was scared to confront Torres due to his two large security guards. NYD were eventually released from the tour for discouraging a young girl from going to BOTDFs tour bus. Torres told Ash that he would ruin her. Afterwards, young girls felt comfortable coming to Ash about the abuse they had suffered at the hands of Torres. She compiled a report encompassing the testimonies and evidence from 30 survivors and filed a police report with the Orange County sheriff’s department. Police didn’t pursue an investigation due to jurisdictional issues and the evidence was destroyed after 2 years. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
  5. 2012, Location Unknown: Sophie McClure (13) attended a BOTDF show where Torres kissed her. Sophie stated that at other BOTDF shows she witnessed Torres have “a young girl flash the crowd for a free shirt” and another where “he took his pants off and crowd surfed”. They continued to communicate for years afterwards. (Source: HuffPost, 2018)
  6. 2012, Oklahoma: Kortney (17) attended a tour alongside two older friends to watch Davey Suicide. Whilst hanging around outside the venue, Dahvie, accompanied by a large security guard, approached her, and complimented her on her dress. Later, the same security guard approached her and asked her if she liked botdf. When she said no, he replied “Ok I’ll let Dahvie know”. During Jeffree Stars performance a second man approached her and began chatting to her about his prior experience working with Davey Suicide. He asked her if they’d like to go on the tour bus. She agreed thinking he meant Davey’s. When they were brought on the bus, she realised it was BOTDFs. In the beginning, Dahvie appeared friendly but she felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to be on his bus. When the opportunity presented itself, he grabbed her, pulled her onto the bed against him, asked her age, stroked her arm, asked what her zodiac sign was and took a photo of them on his phone. He suddenly called for his bodyguard to “get rid of her friends”. Panicked, she said she wanted to go for a cigarette. Torres called on an older woman to take her for a smoke and then take her back to him. When she got off the tour bus she quickly left. (Source: Pastel Belle Interview, 2020)
  7. 2012, Cleveland, Ohio: Nydia (15), also known as N3l3na Kniv3z, began communicating with Torres on Twitter where he started grooming her and inviting her to stay with him. In 2012, after a show, Torres invited her back to his home for a party. She refused. In 2015, she began writing music for BOTDF’s “Cruel Pornography” album in exchange for credit and free merch (she did not receive either). The same year, she attended an all ages show where she seen Torres enter the women’s bathroom (she stated that Jayy also witnessed this). At a 2016 show, she witnessed Torres leaving the venue with two young girls. She ceased communication with him in 2018. Nydia stated that over the years Torres would frequently fill his mouth with water, swish it around and spit it out across the crowd. She also witnessed Jayy position a can of silly string at Torres’s crotch and squirt it across the crowd, feigning ejaculation. (Source: YouTube Testimony, 2020)
Victims of Exploitation and Theft
  1. 2010, California: Nicole Nogrady (27), also known professionally as Lady Nogrady, met BOTDF at a recording studio in LA where they worked on their “All The Rage!!” album. In a 2012 issue of Lemonade Magazine, Nicole explained how she was bullied by Torres and treated disrespectfully. She added that he had attempted to make sexual advances towards her, which she rebuffed. Torres responded by leaking her phone number on Twitter and encouraged his fans to dox her. She told Chris Hansen that Torres acted unprofessionally and had poor business ethics. Nicole was not compensated fully for her contribution to the album and was not paid for concert appearances. (Source: Chris Hansen Interview, 2020)
Character Witnesses
  1. 2010, Various Locations, US: October (21), who worked as a merch girl for Jeffree Star and William Control, met Torres on tour. He flirted with her and invited her to stay with him in Florida. Once there, she witnessed what she described as a revolving door of young women. In Oklahoma, October witnessed a group of young teenagers hanging around the band’s hotel parking lot. When they were confronted, they explained their 15-year-old friend was “with” Dahvie. When the girl left Torre’s hotel room, October stated she appeared extremely dishevelled. She claimed Torres was extremely aggressive, that he was frightening when angry and had a profound need to be in control. When discussing working in the alternative music scene from 2006 she stated she was brainwashed to believe that, “The musician’s always right, and to not make a fuss because if you make a fuss, then you’re considered high maintenance, and if you’re high maintenance, no one will hire you”. (Source: Pastel Belle Interview, 2020)
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